Asked DP to leave over A-Levels comment to my DS

Maybe she was in tears watching her heartbroken child?? Everyone trying to make this about the OP crying because he didn't get certain results is making a serious leap. Yes we can put on a brave face but I would cry if my childs life has suddenly derailed and they were devastated.

But that's when you've got to step up as a parent and be the strong one surely. Help the ds to get some perspective and see they will get over it in time.

I actually liked and agreed with your comment and don't think it should be taken too seriously once the stress of the day has passed for the OP.

My only rebuttle would be, yes, some men talk/joke crudely with each other - no issue with that. Although I don't think I will be alone for thinking that at the dinner table with the boys mother is not the place for it 😊
If that type of chat becomes misogynistic however, whether its in front of women or just men present, I don't agree that it's just men being men type of thing. The term DP used is absolutely misogynistic and I wouldnt be ok if my partner set that example to my son. Maybe just a follow up chat though rather than a boot out of the door 🤣

Maybe she was in tears watching her heartbroken child?? Everyone trying to make this about the OP crying because he didn't get certain results is making a serious leap. Yes we can put on a brave face but I would cry if my childs life has suddenly derailed and they were devastated.

all these "just trying to lighten the mood" people?
Really???? I mean really?????

Nope don't be talked into it being a 'you' problem by the men. Comments like this are the thin end of a very thick wedge, suggesting he use a women/sex for his consolation, calling a women a tart, vague suggestions of paying for sex, or that there's a local woman just gagging for it that he can use. Nah this is gross and we are constantly talked into acceptance of this kind of shit, that's what keep the misogyny and the systems that allow violence and abuse against girls and women thriving. You've just seen it handed down from one generation to the next, forget your partner and speak to your son and explain to him why this should have been offensive and unacceptable to him

I also agree with some PP around the fact you were crying too.

While I can imagine it was upsetting I would have gone and cried in the loo then come out and comforted DS.

I know you meant well but crying in front of him honestly could only add to his stress/upset.

Try to get some sleep tonight and sit down with him tomorrow and come up with what's next

words tell us what is in other people's brains and what they believe is ok...In the old MN phrase "He has told you who he is"

God, its so depressing reading comments on here from women who have clearly been so surrounded by unfunny misogynistic twitter from men their whole lives that they have been indoctrinated into believing this is normal just a bit misguided. There are loads of men who crawled out the swamp years ago who wouldnt ever think to make this kind of joke, but never being exposed to anyone decent really does keep the bar in hell doesnt it.

Sorry, you were crying about your son’s results in front of your son?? 😮

Dp sounds hamfisted in the extreme but was clearly trying to lighten what sounds like a weirdly fraught atmosphere if you were weeping over the results as well.

Horribly misogynistic. And some are defending it as 'humour'? 🙄

I certainly wouldn't be hitching my wagon to such a 'prince'.

What he said is not the best language to use, I agree, but he was just trying to lighten the mood. Mind you, ‘ going mental’ is not the best language to use nowadays either.

What outdated terminology, he could have at least said "the village bike".

It was a gross comment but... yeah I think your DS is right. He was trying to lighten the mood and I can see where he was coming from with the type of comment he made.

I would have smacked him around the head for the local tart comment but wouldn't have chucked him out.

I thinkt he best thinf you can do is wake up tomorrow, put a big smile on and sit down with DS and go through options.

There are ALWAYS options

Any man who talked about girls and women like that would be a no from me. Yuck.

Inappropriate for you to be crying over your son’s alevel results. There are always options, even if things haven’t worked out as hoped. Much more helpful to be helping him see potential bigger picture than falling about crying all day over something that he’s already feeling shit about

His comment was dickish ofc, and sexist, but he was supportive in the way that male figures usually are on results day

Say what?
I dont recall any of the male figures in ds2 life saying anything so gross to ds2 when he failed the exam he wanted the most, not from his dad his uncle, his best friends dad anyone. In fact I haven't heard anyone talk like that in decades.

I dont think you over reacted at all to be honest. Your DP sounds uncouth.

He sounds vile

ewww no. Your partner sounds younger than your son. Inappropriate as he’s teaching him bad coping mechanisms. It would completely give me the ick. It would also make me wonder how my partner would react should things not go to plan. I’d be out of there. I hope you and your son are ok. Things will work out

More people need to call this behaviour out - every time. Its not.a joke. Its enabling the patriarchy. Why didnt he say, "go take sexual advantage of a vulnerable felmale to overcome your stress and sadness "- thats what flipping the words around is saying. Sounds horrible doesnt.it.

Well done for calling this out.

Sorry for the stresses of the day - disappointing results at 18 do not indicate a life of.disappointment it opens up new doors and opportunities. A million other things he can do.

Ewww, what an utterly disgusting thing to say...did he mean prostitute? Or a local girl who is a bit easy? Either way, both show a totally warped view of women.

@JaneeeAmb not the best choice of words but he was trying to lighten the mood.

You could have just said "well maybe the beer bit" and laughed. Total over-reaction.

A local tart? The rest of it I get, go and be with your mates, but to say that sexist claptrap, no.

A joke should be funny. How is that funny?
What a horrible misogynist.

this. He's fucking disgusting and all the women here saying you over reacted need to take a good look at themselves.

"Lots of tears from both of us" - were you in tears about DS exam results in front of DS?

That is so terribly, terribly misogynistic. I could not tolerate a partner saying that, that would be a deal breaker for me.