To contact social services?

I would report it, as others have said it’s odd that someone is physically washing a 7 year old, I have a 6 year old who washes himself completely independently apart from his hair and even then I just put a small amount of shampoo onto his hand for him to pop in.
I supervise by saying ‘have you washed your cheesy feet’ for example but probably haven’t had to physically wash him with a flannel/scrubbie myself since he was 4/5.

So many things are left unreported because they are unsure whether to or not or they feel they don't know the whole story. It took me weeks to report a neighbour for his abusive mouth to his child. It waa a 5:30am wake up call to him calling his child a stupid cow for wetting the bed and getting advice from others that made me do so. Not heard him shout since. So hoping the child is safe. Basically if you ever feel something is off report. If the child is indeed in danger something will be done. If not then very little harm is done. The grandfather maybe upset but at least the child will be safe. The fact she got upset from talking about it would concern me too. So you'd be well in your right to report

A 7 year old being washed at all rings alarm bells itself. Unless obvious/ significant SEN that should not be happening. Not alone the almost being touched inappropriately.
A 7 year old being helped to have hair washed, an adult getting last of bubbles out is the most any adult she be getting hands on/ involved. Definitely report.

Good lord the people on here saying to just tell the mom and only report it if the child says anything more! This is how abuse persists. A child mentions something like this because it feels wrong to them and it is, it’s a man testing her boundaries and she felt it was wrong. I haven’t put a hand in the bath/shower to wash my 7 year old in years, he can wash himself. Particularly when in the bath there is absolutely no need to go putting your hands in to wash a child if they’re sitting in bath water that’s already cleaning their privates. The most I do is wash hair, face etc. or scrub off any mud on knees etc. and that’s with my toddler, certainly not a seven year old. Call social services or child line, this is a child crying out for help as she knew her boundaries were being crossed and something was wrong, but at 7 she can’t articulate that feeling fully.

Report it. If SS/NSPCC thinks it's nothing they will ignore it. However, if there is a recorded history of abuse it will raise alarm bells and they are best placed to deal with it.

Christ - don’t get sidetracked by people picking out bits of your OP and what you said

You report it to social services. Tell them what you’ve been told and leave it with them. They’ll make their own enquiries

whatever you do, don’t ignore it

@DramaKarmaLlama I echo the other posters about following your instincts ( you are right to check it out further ) ….but this is just a plea from a health professional .Telling a young child that “only mummies “ can do something can be very problematic- if a child had to see a Dr or was in hospital being taken care of by nurses , they may well be dealt with by male staff…and as others have said, plenty of people have male relatives who care for them ( my husband had to give my child anal suppositories as I couldn’t do it at the time)….and sadly sometimes even mums do bad things to their children. The main thing is to ask open questions so something like” how did you feel about that” and you could empasise that if ever she feels uncomfortable she should talk to someone about it .

You must report this OP.

It is totally inappropriate for an adult that doesn’t usually care for a child to be washing around that area. By that age children shouldn’t need any assistance to wash their body either (unless of course there is SEND).

You also have no way of knowing what course of action, if any the mum will take. You cannot trust her to react appropriately and do what she needs to do to make sure her child’s safe. I’m not saying she wouldn’t protect her child but you also don’t know that she will.

Hopefully it’s a nothing but you have to report it so that it’s in the hands of the professionals, god forbid something untoward was going on and you didn’t report it, you’d never forgive yourself.

At 7, she’s old enough to wash her own privates, surely?

What run ins have you had with the mum?

It's better that you report and it turns out to be nothing, than to not report and then hhear later that the GF is a paedophile .

I would definitely report it. I was babysitting for an agency a few years ago and was very troubled by something the mum told me. I reported it to the NSPCC and they thought it was very worrying, too. They asked for a lot of information and then dealt with it. Obviously I wasn't told what happened as a result, but I couldn't rest knowing what had happened.

I agree with this. Trust your instincts. Hopefully it’s nothing but you don’t know.

You have said about your personal experience but I don’t think it’s making you overreact, I think it’s making you more aware that these things happen.

Your wording was unfortunate but you weren’t expecting that conversation. Don’t be too hard on yourself.

Yes, that’s concerning. Sounds like he’s testing the water. Gaining her trust first that it’s safe to bath at Granddads. Until one day it isn’t.

Or it could have been an accident.

But it needs investigating and if it is something of concern, even if first dismissed, he’s aware that the authorities are on to him. Hopefully a deterrent. And puts enough doubt in the mum’s mind, to never send her there again.

@DramaKarmaLlama you need to pass on the information to SS, stating the facts only (so exactly as told to you). It’s then out of your hands. They will, hopefully, investigate.

If the parent is unapproachable, avoid going to her. And even if she isn’t, you could run the risk of her just batting it away as nothing. It’s not her right to do this. The child always comes first.

A seven year old can also wash themselves in the bath. Maybe just a little help rinsing out the shampoo.

OP, you're in a really unfortunate position here because, as you say, it might be something it might be nothing, but it's on you, the adult to say/do something. If it's nothing, sure some feeling might be hurt, there will be some awkwardness, but we as a society will never come close to controlling CSA unless people like you are willing to do what needs to be done, and push through that discomfort. Children can't do it by themselves. You know as well as I do that CSA isn't the boogie man, it's in the walls. Its happening right now behind closed doors in thousands of homes. Please raise it with someone. ❤️

You need to report OP. There are red flags.

• that should feel the need to tell you, an almost stranger being biggest
• that she is being washed at her age
• by a family member she doesn't normally stay with

My girls are 4 and 6 and I will still sometimes wipe them over with a flannel if I don’t think they’ve done a great job or they refuse and DH would do the same.

my 6 year old will also sometimes ask us to dry her when she’s tired

Tell her school.

It's the fact she told you that bothers me. I don't think grandad being totally comfortable washing his 7 year old granddaughter, who was totally comfortable being washed by him, is wrong, but if he's been washing since she was a baby and she is still happy him to wash her, why would she tell you? Unless he said something like "your too old for your grandad to wash you now" and it worried her.

She told you because she senses she can trust you with this information, which clearly feels "off" to her as well as you. You need to support her, but speaking to her DM is not the way to go. It will get back to the little girl that you told her DM and she may well feel her trust was broken. After all she told you, and not as far as known, her own DM. Perhaps she knows her DM would not challenge the grandad. it is possible that all it would achieve is nothing being done about a possible predator and the child herself feeling alone and let down, and unprotected.
So go to social services and let them deal with it. It may be something, maybe nothing, but it needs an outsider to look into it.🌸

From aged 4 surely you run the water for the bath, tests it's not too hot and the DC gets in and washes themselves. DC need help with washing hair and finger nails but from 4 a DC should be able to wash themselves unless have SEN. I'd speak to the mother and if she is defensive I'd report to SS.