To think Dsis is overeacting after SS hit niece?

None of these things even come close to being mitigating factors.

I don’t think protecting a child from being struck by a boy five years her senior and assumedly much, much stronger is a waste of police time personally. I made no comments about the nieces behaviour and will continue not to as that’s not what OP actually asked. She asked if her sister was overreacting and I don’t think she is. Her parenting if her child is a separate issue. I thought a woman in the shop earlier was extremely rude to me, she was argumentative, provocative and aggressive. However, she didn’t lay a finger on me and therefore I am not allowed to hit her as that would be illegal. She didn’t do anything illegal, it’s not necessarily fair but it’s the law. And I don’t think reporting illegal things is a waste of time. Would I ring the police over this? No. It doesn’t change the facts though.

Sounds like this angry boy is always on the edge; you’ve got used to tiptoeing around him and you’re expecting everyone else to do the same.

I’d not have my children near him either.

so she was asking for it, right?

She was pestering him.
Wouldn't take no for an answer
Damaged his stuff.
Then, when he walked away, she followed him jeering and taunting him.

I think that actually is quite a lot.

There's an amazing bloke online who shows people how to beat the claw game! Perhaps the arcade are the real villains

There are so many threads like this popping up.

There was one about a 20 year old son yesterday.

If he behaves like this to 10 year old in front of an adult

Imagine him alone.

Imagine him with a teen girl. Alone. Who pisses him off.

If you weren't capable of caring for the group of dc adequately then you should never have agreed to look after them!

You get up and stand in-between them if you need to. Use a stern voice. Call their parents if you need to.

I'm astonished you don't see your role here!

Male hits female, but she needs to apologise for winding him up??!! She sounds badly behaved too, but that is no excuse for violence.

I'm team DSIS.

Also never let kids play claw games. They're a scam.

He was upset by an arcade game so I don't believe it took a lot. No matter how annoying a child is you don't get to hit them. They both sound like brats but one brat is capable of doing long lasting damage if he can't control himself.

This boy nearly man needs professional help. You and his dad aren’t even professionals and I’d suggest asking ss for an inpatient facility to help him. He’s going to end up in prison by the time he’s 16 otherwise

The ss shouldn't have become violent, of course, and I hope his df is addressing that.

But why on earth didn't you step in to tell off dneice and move her away earlier?

What type of 'hit' are we taking about? There's a big difference between hurting with a fist, that pushes on the floor and left a mark and a slight slap on the arm that leaves no mark.

What the 15 year old did was wrong but he did at least try to walk away which gives some hope that he can learn strategies here. It sounds like his dad is trying to work on it with him as well.

This 10 year old sounds vile, I'd be absolutely furious with my DC if they treated someone like that. After seeing such unnecessarily spiteful behaviour I'd be very careful having her around your young children without you.

Newsflash, 10 year old girls are annoying. It needs to be corrected but everything you described is fairly normal, especially given that he was allowed to shout in her face.
You seem quick to justify him shouting and hitting but don't seem to offer her the same grace.
However, I would not say it is developmentally normal for a 15 year old to clump a 10 year old.
Scraps among teenage boys are of course not unusual, but clumping a primary school child isn't normal. At 15 I would expect him to brush it off.

Like others have said, you were the adult in charge. You should have sat between them if you thought he couldn't tolerate what is fairly normal behaviour for a 10 yo. It's peak age to wind others up. At 10 she's testing the boundaries. She should have been put in her place before it escalated.

If he needs to be taken for a walk to calm down because he can't cope with an arcade game then he should have been taken back home to the hotel by his dad until he can get a grip.

I assume you've already got him in therapy?

I would also consider working on yourself. The language you used is that your niece "caused" him to shout at her. Then surely his tantrum caused her to call him a baby?

Not a free pass. She had to work really, really hard at upsetting him before he hit her.

When you ask yourself this op how could you possibly think the child who is legally old enough to be arrested for his assault on a child was anywhere near in the right or that the 10 year old was just as bad as someone assaulting her.

@lifeturnsonadime OP isnt the only one saying the girl was asking for it ... sometimes here I think I've wandered into the Daily Mail comments page.

You are under-reacting to his violence. The excuses and explanations (his past, 'he is working on it', etc) will do no good at all when he hurts someone.

He and your DP need to understand right now how very outrageous this was. No matter the baiting or the mocking, he does not hit. He was in no physical danger that required a violent response.

Today the 10 year old niece, tomorrow his girlfriend, his wife, his stepmother. Your blaming the 10 year old is classic 'she made me do it'.

It does not matter that she was being a horrid, insensitive little shit (and she was). Not at all. Really, really accept that.

The 10 year old sounds awful but they shouldn't be left together. Your sister is still right. He is a young adult and he cannot control his anger. His mother needs tp deal with it.

Was she asking for it OP?

Some of the responses on here are astonishing. As is your attitude. It is never OK for a 15 year old male to hit a 10 year old female.

OP has said she was feeding her baby at the time. .

The niece ignored her requests to stop.

These events can happen really quickly

That he’s only 5’5 is irrelevant. At 15 he has a strength that is not in any way equivalent to that of a 10 year old girl.

It would have been one thing if he’d have verbally snapped back, but he escalated it to actual violence. That he 1, thinks this acceptable, and 2, actually did it, are major red flags, and ones that needs to be tackled now. The wider context of his troubled background only further emphasizes the need to do this, not make allowances.

When serious crimes are committed, ‘why won’t the warning signs heeded?’ is a common refrain. Well, this is one of those warning signs, and taking it seriously isn’t ’overreacting’.

ETA: that isn’t to say that your niece didn’t behave badly. She did, but it did not justify his response.