Page 21 | To think Dsis is overeacting after SS hit niece?

Adossieronme · 13/08/2026 17:23

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Adossieronme · 13/08/2026 17:23

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HumberSquid · 13/08/2026 17:23

words will never hurt me

Except, of course, they do. Which is why they can be both criminalised under the law and constitute abuse.

bitmiffed26 · 13/08/2026 17:22

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NameChangeAgain48 · 13/08/2026 17:21

SS needs to learn sticks and stones may break my bones but names will never hurt me. You can't react to people talking shit. Your certainly can't put your hands on people.

You are trying to justify the unjustifiable. SS 15 put his hands on a little girl.

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PapaSteel · 13/08/2026 17:20

watchingthishtread · 13/08/2026 17:18

It's completely inappropriate to take a troubled teen with anger issues on holiday with other younger kids. This is not the right environment for any of them. You are failing all of these kids.

He lives with us. Where was he supposed to go? Into care like my sister said?

OP posts:

SurelyNotShirley · 13/08/2026 17:19

PapaSteel · 13/08/2026 13:22

I've been with my partner for 8 years and we have dc together, he has a son from his previous relationship. He's 15 and not his bio son but he's been in his life since he was young and he sees him as his dad

Alot happened when we got together as his ex would tell SS that DP didn't want to see him anymore now he was dating me which wasn't true at all. She was physically & verbally abusive towards him and he's been living with us since he was 13 (after he told school about howHe has a lot of trauma and anger which school are supportive about and outside of school he gets help on how to manage the anger and he is a lot better than he was but the anger is still there so we are just patient with him

We're currently on holiday with my sister and her 2 dc and have been here since Monday. There was issues almost straight away as ss got angry at the claw machine but he and dp left the arcade and went for a walk to calm down as the arcade was busy so there was no way he'd have been able to calm down whilst in the arcade. My sister described him as a tantrumming toddler who didn't get his own way and said partner wasn't doing him any favours. I ignored her

He loves drawing and usually if you ask he will show what he's drawing but earlier he was at the table drawing and my niece (10) kept asking what he was drawing. He told her but she kept saying “show me show me” despite him saying no, she pulled his sketch book away from him which caused him to shout at her and she “accidentally” spilt her water on it. He was clearly very angry/upset and walked off to go to his room and she followed him and called him a baby, asked if he was going to cry etc, and he turned round and hit her and now he's being made out to be the bad guy

During this my sister was out with her other dc, my dp was in the shower and I was telling her multiple times to leave him alone and do something else even when she was repeatedly telling him to show her his drawing and she ignored me

My sister is now back and furious, she said she doesn't want her children to share a space with a “violent man”, and has even mentioned going to the police and social services on us if we're happy to have him around our children as he's not related to us when asked where he should go she just replied care

AIBU to think she's overreacting? I know SS shouldn't have hit her and he knows this too but she hasn't apologised for her part in deliberatly winding him up and sister says she doesn't need to as she's a child and he's nearly an adult

Firstly, tell your sister if she doesn't inter intervene on her deviant child's harassing of your SS, her bullying, her inappropriate thieving of other people's possessions when they put boundaries in place -you- will report her to social services. You will report her because you feel she is neglectful of her child's disturbing behaviour when she crosses boundaries and puts herself in danger. That you are concerned your sister is failing to supervise and guard her.

2nd, what will you do when SS is an adult and a partner upsets him, he then hits them? This would be classed as DV. He needs some firm consequences, but he also needs a lot of compassion, understanding, and he 100% needs anger management. You would do him a disservice to not get him professional help. Do it now before it's too late.

Additionally, cut off your sister and her little cow of a child. She's just another mother too spineless to take responsibility of her child's behaviour, and you don't need that kind of toxicity when all of your energy needs to go on you and your SS.

HumberSquid · 13/08/2026 17:19

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What would you prefer? Mean girl? Miserable bully?

watchingthishtread · 13/08/2026 17:18

It's completely inappropriate to take a troubled teen with anger issues on holiday with other younger kids. This is not the right environment for any of them. You are failing all of these kids.

OneQuirkyPanda · 13/08/2026 17:17

Aiming4Optimistic · 13/08/2026 17:09

I don't think it's as simple as him lashing out because she was annoying him ; I think it happened because his strategy for getting away failed (due to lack of adult intervention) and he didn't know where to go from there. And the niece kept coming at him.

He as a 15 year old should have been able to control himself enough to not physically lash out a much younger child though. Her behaviour was bad, but she is 5 years younger than him and in primary school.

It’s concerning that OP is minimising this massively when he will be an adult in a few years time, and it’s not always going to be possible for him to run away or be left alone when people are making him angry.

meatyryvita · 13/08/2026 17:13

Wisher88 · 13/08/2026 17:00

I'm sure she said a caravan. I dread the thought of 5 kids in one room, including a baby, a wind-up merchant and a future crim. Why did she not take them to a bloody park.

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"future crim" - what a foul thing to say about a child who has been through such trauma.

Adossieronme · 13/08/2026 17:13

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Adossieronme · 13/08/2026 17:13

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BMW58 · 13/08/2026 17:12

Well he's apologised for hitting her, she should apologise for being a bitch.

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PapaSteel · 13/08/2026 17:12

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My children are younger than 10 and already know to respect peoples boundaries or bully other people so this wouldn't have even be something that happened

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Adossieronme · 13/08/2026 17:11

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Aiming4Optimistic · 13/08/2026 17:09

I don't think it's as simple as him lashing out because she was annoying him ; I think it happened because his strategy for getting away failed (due to lack of adult intervention) and he didn't know where to go from there. And the niece kept coming at him.

Adossieronme · 13/08/2026 17:09

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UnpopularOpinionsIWouldUsuallyKeepToMyself · 13/08/2026 17:09

Aiming4Optimistic · 13/08/2026 16:50

All these people saying that 15 is nearly an adult. It isn't. The human brain doesn't finish maturing until people are in their early to mid twenties. Becoming an adult is a process and 15 is still in the middle of that process. He's 3 years away from being a legal adult - that's a long time in terms of childhood development. It's not like the difference between 42 and 45!

Physically he is going to be an absolute world away from a 10 year old female child.

Namechangefordaughterevasion · 13/08/2026 17:07

It wouldn't be ok for a 15 year old girl to hit a 10 year old. It's even worse if a boy does it it's even worse.

He will never learn to control himself if his actions (good and bad) don't have appropriate consequences.

OneQuirkyPanda · 13/08/2026 17:04

Aiming4Optimistic · 13/08/2026 16:50

All these people saying that 15 is nearly an adult. It isn't. The human brain doesn't finish maturing until people are in their early to mid twenties. Becoming an adult is a process and 15 is still in the middle of that process. He's 3 years away from being a legal adult - that's a long time in terms of childhood development. It's not like the difference between 42 and 45!

It should be mature enough by 15 years old to know you don’t hit primary school aged children because they’re annoying you, he will be 16 soon, many 16 year olds work (I did), they are not small children who can’t control themselves.

OP should be very concerned if he genuinely cannot control his anger this much that he ends up hitting a 10 year old for goading him.

Wisher88 · 13/08/2026 17:03

TheFairCat · 13/08/2026 16:57

Totally agree. Also to add, significant childhood trauma such as this young man has survived has a significant impact on social and emotional development. The general rule of thumb is to half their chronological age putting him at around 7.5 emotionally.

This is not an excuse for his behaviour, it’s a reason. What is the reason for the niece’s behaviour? I have never seen a typically developing 10 year old behave like that, especially in front of an adult having repeatedly been told not to.

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Unless he has a severe mental disability I think saying he's the emotional age of a 7 year old is a stretch. A child who has been through lots of trauma and is displaying a lot of anger needs really really firm boundaries especially at 15. The law won't care that he's had a difficult childhood. Prisons are full of people who can't take responsibility for their own behaviour because others have made excuses for them.

Wisher88 · 13/08/2026 17:00

OlderGlaswegianLivingInDevon · 13/08/2026 16:22

'I wasn't just sat there, they were across the room and I was feeding my baby.'

You should have got off our back side, taking baby with you and dealt with it

across the room - must have been a huge room !

male hit female - full stop
in 3 years time he will be an adult

I do hope one of the families is packing and leaving, either yours and the young male or your sister with the assaulted female...

I'm sure she said a caravan. I dread the thought of 5 kids in one room, including a baby, a wind-up merchant and a future crim. Why did she not take them to a bloody park.

Aiming4Optimistic · 13/08/2026 16:57

Agreed, but I think it's important to remember that this boy is still a boy and not a fully formed adult man who definitely should be expected to have total control over his actions. He's still a work in progress.

TheFairCat · 13/08/2026 16:57

Aiming4Optimistic · 13/08/2026 16:50

All these people saying that 15 is nearly an adult. It isn't. The human brain doesn't finish maturing until people are in their early to mid twenties. Becoming an adult is a process and 15 is still in the middle of that process. He's 3 years away from being a legal adult - that's a long time in terms of childhood development. It's not like the difference between 42 and 45!

Totally agree. Also to add, significant childhood trauma such as this young man has survived has a significant impact on social and emotional development. The general rule of thumb is to half their chronological age putting him at around 7.5 emotionally.

This is not an excuse for his behaviour, it’s a reason. What is the reason for the niece’s behaviour? I have never seen a typically developing 10 year old behave like that, especially in front of an adult having repeatedly been told not to.