AIBU to think it’s none of their business?

Tell them having their own home is a wonderful thing and they can fuck off back to it ☺️

Maybe MIL has been dreaming about moving in with her son (her married son, who has adult children and who doesn’t need more)!

I'd be tempted to say he's never moving out, you're paying him to stay because he's going to care for you in your dotage! 😆

Our eldest DS , age 26 lives at home, he works FT, he’s saving money for his future.
My DM and DF are sadly no longer with us, but my cantankerous MIL is, she makes comments, always has done and no doubt always will, I don't see her but on occasion my DH cant help but tell me what shes said-
the one person who does wind me up is BIL, DH’s brother-who still lives with her, never moved out, never had a relationship with anyone, he tells my DH that we need to “sort out” our DS, can you believe the irony! His DM still irons his boxers! FFS!
Our DS helps with washing, ironing, cooks for him and his Dsis, he has struggled and still does to an extent , with his social skills, he has dyspraxia.
He has done amazingly well with his life, he had a hideous time at school with bullying, went on to do an apprenticeship and was offered a job.
None of my family make comments, I think they realise how expensive life is for the younger generation, its all very worrying
Tell people to mind their own business, they have no idea!

You say to them
"Are you aware that by sharing your opinions, commenting on our living situation and comparing our adult children you are seriously harming previously good relationships between us. Your comments won't change where anyone lives, but they are causing a lot of upset. I'm sure your intention isn't to cause bad feelings, so I'm being very direct about this now before long lasting damage is done."

Then the ball is in their court, is sharing their opinion more important to them then maintaining good family relationships?

Keep asking them when they are going to downsize.

'Are you feeling alright Mabel? I was only saying to DH the other day that I'm a bit worried about you. You keep bringing this up but I'm quite sure I told you we were all perfectly happy so there was no need to discuss it. Loss of memory can be the start of something. Maybe you should call the doctor.'

Continue to discuss at length even when told there is no problem and its none of your business to illustrate the point....

I used to get this when I was renting. 'haven't you bought yet?' ' No, do you want to give me 20 grand? Because if not there isn't really anything to discuss'. People are idiots.

I agree with the other posters. Its no ones business who lives in your house if you are happy with the situation. I would be very robustly telling MIL to mind her own business and cutting down on the visits until she learns to. Like some of the others here I left home at 22 and never looked back. I would have cut my throat with a rusty saw rather than move back in with my parents but that was way back i the 1960s when flats were easy to get. My mother used to pass personal remarks on my lifestyle and after repeated warnings I saw less and less of her. Eventually moved t another city and hardly saw her.

Next time one of them mentions it ask "Why do you care about it?" Make them explain, don't accept generalities. Watch them squirm.

What would you do?
Start telling them how to live their lives. See how they like that!
What's sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.

This is brilliant! Please say this!

Bet the family are envious you told her to stfu. They haven't the guts. Or send her links to suitable properties and suggest she buys him one..

I lived with parents for 44 years even though I'd been with my fella for 14 of those years and stayed at his weekends. Mum and Dad were moderately comfortable and could afford for me to pay only £20 a week house keeping money. I moved in with my fella 12 yrs ago. But loved the time spent at home although it meant I was much more involved with my parents which had a devastating effect on me when I lost my Dad and then my Mum.

The important question!

They are being extremely rude.

Say that your DC are avoiding them as they are being so annoying about this. Is that really what they want?

Why do they give a shit?

Just see less of them.

you’ve spoken to them, they aren’t going to stop.

I would be shutting the conversation down every time it was mentioned. It’s no one’s business but you and your husbands.

Your son is lucky that he has supportive parents and is being able to save up for his own home one day.
Also He is pulling his weight around the house. You and your husband have done a good job raising him.

You are all happy with how things are which is the main thing so don’t let anyone ruin that.

I'd deal with it by continuing to tell anyone who pipes up that it’s none of their business. Let them cry.
Also point out that their relationship with your DS is suffering as he's avoiding them because he's had enough of the comments. And tell them to leave your middle child the fuck alone too!
Of course, at least some of this is for your DH to say, to his mother for example.

They are being so rude and I wonder if they're jealous or projecting their own feelings about their own situations "well I wouldn't like it so they must hate it and just need a nudge" . I'd respond "it suits us" and if they say any more about it, be clear that it's not up for discussion, and if necessary, stop seeing them in your home.
They cannot continue making your children uncomfortable in their own home.

Why are you worried if someone cries because they are told to mind their own business?

the tears are because they know they are wrong and are embarrassed and guilty

if they try to accuse you of making them cry you tell them to STFU and stop being such a baby

Tell them to piss off , i think its great you have your son home and only want the best for him. Cant understand why most cant wait for kids to move out and not return . Says a lot about them and not you!.

FIL has been making comments about our eldest still living at home, he is 23. He even said the children still come on holiday with you? Yes, we enjoy their company and they are a bloody delight.

Our 23 year old landed a graduate job straight out of uni. We told FIL that the mortgage Ds can get is only X times his salary which won't even touch a 2 bed on our street. Therefore he needs and massive, whopper of a deposit which gives him choices. He has saved a lot of money but wants the deposit, money to furnish the place and some money for a car. He doesn't need a car here as he borrows mine once a week.

Both children are lovely, cook, do their own laundry and they each both have a room they can chill in as well as their bedrooms. That means everyone gets their own space or can all come together to socialise.

12.30 today both children (Ds2 is home from uni for the summer) will come into the lounge to eat lunch with me and Dh and we will be watching an old episode of Location, Location, Location. They are both actively looking at houses on Rightmove to see what is available, house prices, locations etc. There is no need for them to rush into buying just for the sake of it. They will move out when they are ready unless someone gifts them a serious amount of money before that.

Tell them you are doing them a massive favour by giving them that chance to be a property owner one day and that he does as much housework etc as the rest of you. Then tell them you don’t want to hear anymore about it.

Hats off to your husband! He’s dead right, just follow his lead.