Am I wrong for still having girls' nights out now that I'm married?

Don't tell me - they think it's fine for him to go out with his friends!

When I read the title I thought it was going to be your DH laying down the law - maybe he should be, with his mother

My husband is not a particularly social person with other men he’ll go out occasionally over the years , I’m totally opposite, love to go out to cinema , meal or theatre with different groups of friends . We have supported each other over the years with illness , cancer and bereavements , don’t stop seeing your friends they are very important , my husband always trusted me and I paid using my own money . Enjoy life !

You’re fine. Having your own friends and getting together will nourish you and make you a better person, more interesting partner. Same for your husband and his friends.

They're nuts! I'm older than you and have two young kids and still go out - probably not as often as monthly as most of my girlfriends have young kids too so it can be harder to coordinate (and generally more dinner/pubs/bars than clubs), but my DH wouldn't dream of stopping me going out with friends/colleagues/whoever and vice versa... the only difference from pre-kids is that we have to actually coordinate 😆. My PIL would get short shrift if they said anything!

In fact I'm on my way home now after a lovely impromptu drinks with colleagues.

Ha, good point! Probably not!

Or men. I wonder if the OP’s MIL and aunt object to her husband going out with his friends?

Makes no difference to me! Of course they can have nights out!

I'm just saying let's not pretend we've never heard of married women "crossing the line" on these "girls' nights out"!

I’m married and I still love going out out! I don’t have girls nights out for various unrelated reasons including them having had children and preferring to stay in, or us drifting in general

I’ve been with my husband for 12 years married for 4, I’m 44 and have a girls night once a month, I’d go insane without it.
When it comes to other men/women finding me or my husband attractive then this is my way of thinking.. There have been times in the last 12 years men have approached, flirted and asked for my number or for a date, I obviously decline, it’s sometimes a bit of an ego boost but I don’t tell my husband because I know it would make him feel anxious/jealous etc and I presume when he goes out the same might be happening to him with women because he’s a nice, funny good looking man.. again I’d rather not know about it.

So 2 people have said this to you. Your mother and auntie in law?

Absolutely ridiculous. His mum can't be that old, so she must be very old fashioned in her thinking. Maybe it's the way she's been brought up, but 2 people saying it is hardly a lot.

Goodness me, of courses it's normal and also important to have nights out with your friends! Still doing it in my 50s and always will. At age 30 it wasn't even anything to thunk about.

Chatting to men when you're married is not cheating.

OP your husband's family seem to have an extremely backwards view of the world (circa mid 19th century). You need to read the riot act on this.

You won't cheat on your husband. But you're not his property and you're damned if you're going to be told when you go out and who you go out with. You're perfectly capable of enjoying yourself with friends in a setting where there are men and indeed even talking to men without having sex with them or flirting with them. It's part of normal human interaction.

You will respect and honour your husband but you are an adult and they will respect your boundaries and you will never again be told how to live your life and conduct yourself. Say it once and live by it.

When you say ‘a few people’ is this only actually your husband’s mum/her sister?

I would tell them that I would continue to see my friends at the pub, just like DH does.

You feeling ‘disgusting’ after their comment is a bizarre reaction though-I’d work on this!!

When reading this I thought you were posting from the 19th century!! You know deep down that comments about your girls nights are complete and utter b* Believe me as you get older you will need these get togethers more and more!!!!

I think it's also totally fine to talk to men. I think if you set out with the aim of chatting with men, that would be unusual. But if men chat to your group of friends, and you don't immediately shut down the conversation, that seems fine.

If there's a mix of single people and people in a relationship in a friendship group, I imagine the single people would find it tiresome if every conversation with the opposite sex was immediately shut down.

Yes, as does my 65 year old mother who is married. She’s not at the club, but she’s out with the girls till the pub closes.

DH and I also still holiday with our friends when we can, normally for a weekend though and only for special occasions. We don't really think it’s fair to leave one person to deal with three kids for more than 3 days if it can be avoided - but that’s personal preference.

This is a ridiculous attitude from your relatives. I’m mid 40’s and have always had girls nights out (at least monthly but sometimes fortnightly if it’s a birthday etc). Go away at least once a year for a few nights. Just back from a girls trip to Ibiza. Life doesn’t stop because you’ve got married.
my mums going on a girls trip with her friends later this year to the canaries for her friends 70th.

You don’t approve do you @TrishM80?

Nevermind the previous 15 years where anything goes, you should immediately turn into a hermit who appeases your husband once you get married.

You’re married not dead. 30 years married here and I still go out with my girls. Fair enough, they’re a little more staid now but we can still knock back a cocktail or 4

‘Probably wasn’t just chatting and blurring the lines’… how on earth do you know that? Unless you think it’s not possible to just ‘chat’ to someone of the opposite sex?

Jesus as usually MN reads half a post, I said she probably wasn't just chatting and blurring the lines between that and flirting. Obviously a chat is fine but blurring the lines is not.

We don't chat to men as its not what we want...why would I want to chat to someone in a pub or club when I'm interested in spending time with my friends on a girls weekend. We politely say sorry no thank you - there is nothing wrong with also not wanting to chat and gain attention.

Harlot.

You laughed in their faces and asked if they'd told their son/nephew he wasn't allowed out? Then laughed again?

It's never been weird to see your female friends when you are married.