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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to be furious DH scared the children into behaving?

44 replies

Throwawayquestioning · 12/08/2026 19:26

DH invented a fictional scary character to scare the kids when they’re misbehaving (they’re 1 and 4). My 4 year old was scared to be out when the sun went down in case it ‘gets’ her. I had no idea he used this to get them to behave until she told me why she was scared and I’m absolutely fuming. AIBU?

OP posts:
GasPanic · 12/08/2026 20:52

When I was a kid my parents used to tell me once a year a stranger in a red suit would break into the house and leave presents for me, and if I didn't behave I wouldn't get any.

I don't think I have any significant trauma as a result but maybe...

WineCharm · 12/08/2026 20:52

YABU but, given the nature of things these days, I'm not surprised.

WaitingForAutumm · 12/08/2026 20:50

My DH did this when he told my youngest that a man checks (via security cctv) whether she’s eaten her dinner. Wouldn’t believe me. Now she’s older she’s never forgiven her dad. Joke is on him now.

clearlyy · 12/08/2026 20:46

Also anyone remember the old PSA adverts from the 70s, Death himself standing over stagnant water to scare kids into ya know. Not drowning.

clearlyy · 12/08/2026 20:45

Aposterhasnoname · 12/08/2026 20:25

Meh, just tell her daddy is being silly. Parents have been scaring their kids into behaving for ever. The boogie man, Santa wont come, that lady/man will be cross with you, etc. Not saying it’s right, but it’s almost universal.

https://www.playgroundequipment.com/31-mythical-creatures-used-to-scare-children-from-around-the-world/

I was about to post something similar! Like humans have been doing this to keep people safe and stuff for hundreds if not thousands of years. Like, that’s why they put monsters on old sea maps. Best scare people into not going there lest their ships sink! Very old and very common tactic to keep humans in line. God forbid they ever read the originals of fairy tales…

Itsseweasy · 12/08/2026 20:45

It’s just plain nasty. There’s no need at all to scare children to get them to behave.
(I may be biased though, as I remember lying in my dark bedroom in tears, scared to move or go for a wee in case “they” came to get me if I got out of bed after bedtime).

strawlight · 12/08/2026 20:43

Mine believed for years that every CCTV camera was a Santacam. I pointed them all out when we went anywhere… he’s always watching yooooou….

SpaceRaccoon · 12/08/2026 20:41

A tried and tested way to teach children to be well-behaved and safe - just look at Grimms' Fairy Tales and Struwelpeter.

Dontlletmedownbruce · 12/08/2026 20:40

It's funny and I think yabu to be fuming. He didn't invent the concept, we were told our eyes would go square from watching TV. If the end justifies the means and kids are cooperative at bed time then it's a good thing. If dc are genuinely afraid and it's causing anxiety then you both need to tell them it's just a story.

Twoweeksinaugust · 12/08/2026 20:39

I used to tell my dc the Rag and Bone man would kidnap them if they left my sight when we were out, stopped them wandering off. They laugh about it now, I think it's quite common isn't it?

Katemax82 · 12/08/2026 20:38

Id be fuming. My oldest stepson used to keep saying to his younger brother "quick the man's going to get you!" Randomly to scare him. Id never allow that with my own kids

DoYouThinkAbout · 12/08/2026 20:36

Sounds like a 'lovely' Dad - not!

Whats he going to do when this stops working?

Giftspread · 12/08/2026 20:28

I'd tell the kids its one of daddy's silly stories and you would never allow anyone to 'get' them.

Aposterhasnoname · 12/08/2026 20:25

Meh, just tell her daddy is being silly. Parents have been scaring their kids into behaving for ever. The boogie man, Santa wont come, that lady/man will be cross with you, etc. Not saying it’s right, but it’s almost universal.

https://www.playgroundequipment.com/31-mythical-creatures-used-to-scare-children-from-around-the-world/

username2185 · 12/08/2026 20:18

I wouldn’t be fuming, I’d probably laugh, and then tell the kids it’s not real.

Tunnocks34 · 12/08/2026 20:12

Ha! This reminds me of my childhood. My Irish daddy had a story of ‘the man’ no idea who the man was or what his story was, but I was very absolutely certain that if I left my bedroom after bedtime then the man would get me.

It didn’t scar me. It’s now actually a fond memory, although it isn’t for form of dicipline I’ve chosen with my own children.

SandwichSuperstar · 12/08/2026 20:09

Meh!

Just tell him he's on night duty if there are any nightmares about it.

ASeriesOfTubes · 12/08/2026 20:07

He's basically "invented" the Bogeyman? YA probably BU to be absolutely fuming, we all have to deal with him.

caringcarer · 12/08/2026 19:40

My eldest DS when he was 3 refused to go over bridges. It took ages before I realised he thought there would be a Billy Goat Griff under there. DH had read him that story so often he started to believe it.

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