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AIBU?

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Original poster

AIBU to think I can do two weddings in one day?

66 replies

HidingintheClothesPile · 12/08/2026 18:13

One of our close friends is getting married next year which me and DP are really excited about.

Had another wedding invite today from a family member (his side) they’re close family that he doesn’t see that often but still get on and go to each others family functions etc and the date is the same day as our friends wedding!

I’m a bit gutted about it because I was so looking forward to my good friend’s big day but we also can’t really miss a family wedding in good conscience. I don’t want to attend the weddings separately (not in a “me and DP are joined at the hip and I can’t function at events alone” kind of way, more a “he’s my best mate and we want to go out and have fun together” kind of way).

AIBU to think we could do both? They’re about a 40 minute drive from each other so not super close but also not ridiculously far apart so my thought is we could go to the family ceremony and our friend’s reception. Is that going to be a huge faffy rush about on the day? Is it bad wedding guest etiquette to do this? I don’t want to be rude to either, but also don’t want to miss either!

(On the bright side it means I’ve only got to buy one outfit I guess)

OP posts:
Tryagain26 · 12/08/2026 18:31

You said it's a close family member is it a sibling? If so and as you say you haven't had a full invitation to your friend's wedding yet I think your husband needs to attend the family wedding and then maybe join you later for the evening reception at your friend's .

Original poster
HidingintheClothesPile · 12/08/2026 18:29

Doseofreality · 12/08/2026 18:27

Starting off at one wedding,then leaving to go to another, just sends the message to the first couple that you think the other wedding is better than theirs.

I would agree with this if we left spontaneously but if we did decide to explore the option of going to both we’d be speaking to them both well in advance to explain the dilemma and make sure they were ok with it!

OP posts:
Doseofreality · 12/08/2026 18:27

Starting off at one wedding,then leaving to go to another, just sends the message to the first couple that you think the other wedding is better than theirs.

Beachbeach · 12/08/2026 18:23

Someone did this at our wedding. They rsvp yes to us and then got another invite. They did our ceremony and the others reception. I think it was the worst of both worlds the woman in the couple said.

Original poster
HidingintheClothesPile · 12/08/2026 18:22

LlynTegid · 12/08/2026 18:20

If you do, have a conversation now with each of the couples, who I hope would be understanding.

You will have a story to tell for a long time afterwards!

Honestly having visions of that Vicar of Dibley episode where she ends up at everyone’s Christmas dinners 😂

OP posts:
Original poster
HidingintheClothesPile · 12/08/2026 18:21

DisforDarkChocolate · 12/08/2026 18:18

Decline the new invite, anything else is bloody rude.

Yeah to be honest this is what I’m most worried about - I really don’t want to do anything that would be rude or taking the piss out of either, I know how stressful weddings are as I’ve been married previously and so don’t want to be an awkward guest. My chronic people pleasing self is just trying to work out a way we can do everything and make everyone happy, haha

OP posts:
Victorius19 · 12/08/2026 18:21

The 1st save the date should be the main wedding you attend. I'd do the day for that one, and then the evening at the other so you get to do both.

LlynTegid · 12/08/2026 18:20

If you do, have a conversation now with each of the couples, who I hope would be understanding.

You will have a story to tell for a long time afterwards!

Original poster
HidingintheClothesPile · 12/08/2026 18:19

sparrowhawkhere · 12/08/2026 18:17

Just attend separately and DP joins you at the evening do for your friend later

This is an interesting option that honestly hadn’t even occurred to me so it’s going on the list of potential solutions!

OP posts:
Original poster
HidingintheClothesPile · 12/08/2026 18:18

Sleepytimepleaseee · 12/08/2026 18:15

Surely you just decline the second invitation? Sounds like you aren't that close to that family member, and your good friend has already invited you and you've rspvd. I don't think you should back out of something you've already committed to.

Sorry I should have said in my original message that we only have a save the date from my friend but the family wedding we’ve had a full on invite in the post today

OP posts:
DisforDarkChocolate · 12/08/2026 18:18

Decline the new invite, anything else is bloody rude.

sparrowhawkhere · 12/08/2026 18:17

Just attend separately and DP joins you at the evening do for your friend later

JudithsDead · 12/08/2026 18:16

I think that’s a good idea - especially if you’ve already RSVPed to friend. Do the timings work?

hulahooper2 · 12/08/2026 18:16

If you are an all day guest at the family wedding, and let them pay for a meal for you ,and then you bail on them for another wedding , I’d imagine they’d be pretty upset . Or will you say you’ll just attend the ceremony and attend the other wedding as an evening guest?

IronEverything · 12/08/2026 18:16

You could do that but it doesn't sound enjoyable and personally I'd just choose the one I wanted to go to and tell the other couple I'd already committed to another wedding.

Sleepytimepleaseee · 12/08/2026 18:15

Surely you just decline the second invitation? Sounds like you aren't that close to that family member, and your good friend has already invited you and you've rspvd. I don't think you should back out of something you've already committed to.

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