AIBU to think I can do two weddings in one day?

You haven't had a full invite but you have had a thing asking you to keep that date free, so I think if you want to say to the relative that you've already got a commitment that day that that would be legitimate.

Done for whom?

If you came to my ceremony then left to go to someone else's reception if assume it was a tokenistoc gesture / our reception plans weren't good enough for you. If you didn't bother with the ceremony but came to the expensive bit, I'd think you were just there for the entertainment and food

Who's friend is it? It is someone where you both know the bride and groom / all met at the same time?

Personally if it was my friend and DHs cousin I'd go seperately. Yes he's your best friend and you want to spend every spare moment together but it's one day.

I wouldn’t consider a “save the date” to be the same as an actual invite because I don’t think you actually have to reply to it. It’s more of an indicator so people avoid booking holidays if they want to come.
Having said that I definitely wouldn’t attend both weddings- seems like a perfect way to annoy both couples and exhaust yourself. If you don’t want to go separately you need to pick one and stick with it and yes unless it’s your best friend, it seems like the relatives wedding is the more obvious choice. Annoying though !

I’ve done it, and they were a lot further apart. Did the ceremony for one (Christian sort of fundamentalist types, went on for ages, lots of hands in the air, and Christian Rock etc).
left early afternoon, back to my Home Town were our friends got married, to a raucous reception.

it was fine

Yes, this happened us. It was incredibly rude. I couldn't give a shit who was at the ceremony so I don't know why this clown bothered. Don't do it. Commit to one and enjoy yourself for the day.

Hi op considering your first wedding was save the date that meant for you not to make any plans for that day as it’s a wedding and you are expected as guests. So even though the family was a real invitation you had already had save the date so this is your first invite. You have to decide who’s more important to you because being at 2 weddings is not the right thing to do for the bride and groom.

Years ago at church we had two weddings in one day. We did the first went to the reception it was a nice lunch. Came back to the Church for second wedding then to the evening event for that wedding. Never went to weddings but two in one day!

Go to the friend’s wedding, which you have already committed to - they literally asked you to Save the Date! Unless the family wedding is a parent or sibling of your husband - in which case you’d presumably have known the date far in advance of the invitations going out - you’ll have to regretfully decline due to a previous commitment. It happens, they’re not going to cut you off because of it.

Once you have accepted an invitation, you can’t decline and accept the other

We've attended two weddings in the same day a few years ago.
The one that I'd confirmed first was, luckily in the early afternoon. The second invitation, that was a family wedding was in the morning. The family knew we had already made plans for the afternoon, so we went to the family ceremony and they knew we would be leaving afterwards which we did.
The 'first' wedding in the afternoon included an overnight stay, so we could not have uninvited ourselves from that, as the bride and groom had paid for it.

I'd go to the friends ceremony, dinner etc and then the evening do for the family one, personally.

You should attend the full wedding of the friend whose wedding you were invited to first.

Anything else would be incredibly rude.

Do the timings even work and where do you plan to eat? TBH I’d be annoyed if you ate and ran but would consider it equally cheeky you turning up in time for the food and drink!

Just go to the first wedding and enjoy it otherwise you’ll be clock watching.

A

Just pick the one you'd rather go to, honestly. It's going to turn into a mess.

I don't necessarily think it's rude if you explain clearly beforehand so each couple knows which bits you'll be attending. Only do it if you really want to go to both weddings though. My friend did this at my wedding, came for ceremony and drinks at my wedding and then evening reception at the other friend's wedding. With a flight from London to Edinburgh in between! I knew she wasn't staying for the meal and didn't ask her to do anything for the wedding (bridesmaid etc) which I might have done if she'd been staying all day. I was happy she could come to at least part of the day.

This happened to us and it was one of my nightmare scenarios. My sister and DH's cousin were getting married on the same day (to different people, not each other 🤣).

My eldest DD (then around 5) was to be my sister's bridesmaid too. I was also her Matron of Honour. The two weddings were at the exact same time and an hour and a half drive apart.

My DH, who was never known for his realism, tried to insist that we would go to the service for my sister and then all just shoot straight off in the car to go to his cousin's do. I had a hard time convincing him that DD and I would be required to stay with my sister, along with the rest of my family, and that anything else was unrealistic. He only backed down when his own parents also said the same to him.

I also had to reinforce to him that DD and I were actually in my sister's bridal party so just wouldn't be leaving anyway. If he was going to go it would have been on his own and would have looked very odd. The choice was left up to him and he stayed with us.

We politely declined the cousin's wedding, explained exactly why and no offence was taken.

During the day, as my sister's event unfolded, DH admitted that he had been a loon to think it could ever have worked.

Speak yo the friends and confirm the date. You’ve already agreed to attend that and sound closer to them. Ok family might be disappointed but you’ve already committed to your friend. Or you could attend the evening event of the family wedding? Would you be drinking? Do you have children and are they invited to both, or do you need a babysitter?

Well the first invite is really the family one since the other is not an invite yet.

Whose party would you rather go to? I feel like you could do ceremony and meal at one then evening at the other?

A save the date is not an invitation. You may get just an evening one. You accept the full wedding of the first invite.

You stick with the first invite - anything else is rude.

Personally think you should just attend the whole of one wedding, think it’s rude to attend one part of one wedding, and then leave to go to another wedding. You should attend your friend’s wedding as you received the Save the date card for that first (are you sure you are invited to all of it, and not just evening reception), as sometimes people do send out Save the Dates to all guests, then sort out day and evening invitations, & just evening invitations).

If your DP really does not want to miss family wedding he should attend that.