To want to uninvite this man?

surely Dad not grandad

Yep, it sounds to me like he’s testing the waters. Creep. I hope he decides not to show his face. He’s overstepped. Is there a way you can somehow uninvited him? It would make me feel uncomfortable too and I wouldn’t want him in my home.

You’re not into him which is fine and totally understandable but he’s done nothing wrong at this point. If he was to persist when he knows you’re not interested then that’s different.

Sad to see people.telling a woman to ignore her instincts .

Come on OP. Get a grip. The man was clearly putting out feelers to see if you’re interested in going to see a film with him. You’re not. You’re both adults and yes he’s older than you but God loves a Tryer and all that. Stop acting like he’s a serial rapist.

I would’ve replied something along the lines of “film not really my thing but my partner <name> went to see it and said it was good so enjoy!” Skilfully and politely deflected, no feelings hurt and he will get the message loud and clear.

Just message him and say he’s uninvited then!!!

Can people please stop telling OP she's over-reacting, to shove her feeling aside and endure being uncomfortable in her own home for a few hours, just to spare some random old bloke's feelings!

And if she is over-reacting (she's not) then so what?! We shouldn't be encouraging a woman to ignore her instincts, regardless.

OP, there has been one or two suggestions on how to politely rescind the invite, I suggest you go with one of those.

Or you could just tell him to fuck off, up to you 😀

Talk about overthinking

Few messages regarding him being a widower, and thus maybe socially in a spin but I don’t see that OP has said that.

It is weird OP and he was definitely chancing his arm. A large majority of men seem to think they've still got it, regardless of reality.

You took the time to send him a special invite to the drinks. He's unaware you've got a partner, and now he's trying his luck, it's what people do.
Yes the age gap makes it a bit cringe, but stranger things have happened, and at this point he's done nothing wrong.
Make sure he knows at the earliest natural opportunity that you're unavailable. If after that he continues you move into creep territory.

I think you are over reacting a little. If it was an attempt to flirt (and you could be right) it was a mild one. And he seems to have got the message if there have been no further texts?

Not everyone is repulsed by age gap relationships - perhaps he has dated younger women before and genuinely thought he stood a chance? Either way, he has respected your lack of response, and isn't pursuing it.

As this will be a group event it's fine to have him over.

You mention your partner's reaction, and I wonder, is he pressuring you to disinvte the guy? I have had exes who would have reacted badly to this - and ultimately it was the exes who were the problem - they behaved as if I was their territory that another male or the species was trying to invade. Not nice.

You are an intelligent adult, in a commited relationship - your partner should trust that you will politely rebuf any attempts at flirtation without need for drastic actions such as uninviting the guy.

OP - I'm wondering does he know that he's been invited as part of a group and not that you individually just invited him ?

I think it’s a bit flirty OP, with this guy just trying to start a conversation. It’s thankfully not too much of a come on and I would tolerate him in a group setting this upcoming visit but I wouldn’t invite him again. Maybe I would do smaller catch ups or everyone to meet at a cafe so it’s easier to come and go.

A few years ago my MIL’s partner would occasionally message me and I always felt a little uncomfortable. There was no reason for him to contact me privately. These days, I don’t see him anymore, let alone get messages.

I would invite him over with the group and tell him that he is not welcome to text you outside of the group. He’ll either apologise or make an excuse, either way he’ll get the message.

It's a bit off for me. DH and I are middle 60s and some of the others in our run club are from age mid 20s upwards. Can't think of a u reason either of us would randomly text a club member. One of them actually invited us to their housewarming party recently and the age gap was v obvious and a bit awkward tbh. We went to be polite but the age gap made conversation strained after a little while

He could have sent the same text to a few people if he really enjoyed the movie.
I would not consider a wink emoji as flirting, more of a you are welcome for the movie recommendation.

You are aware that there are lots of age gap relationships?

I agree with this

I’m so pleased more and more woman are not excusing men any more because they might be lonely, don’t understand boundaries, read the signals wrong

Women rarely get so confused