To want to uninvite this man?

Caroline Aherne ⭐!

OP. You're going on and on about one text, which was likely a borderline flirt but might not have been. It's quite odd now - have you never experienced male attention before? He sent you a film recommendation. He sent a wink emoji. He was drunk. Nothing overt, nothing sexual, a single text, nothing more. Are you really this unable to cope? Yes, he's likely a bit of a lonely old fool. What exactly are you bothered about? Just laugh it off at this stage, honestly.

Some people use winking to mean it’s a joke I think?

I can see my father sending something like this. Not to be pervy or test any waters but because he thinks he's important and sophisticated and that people would appreciate him sharing his opinions, as they would of course respect him so much. Obviously he's a pompous knob and while definitely annoying it would have absolutely nothing to do with flirting. It would go to various people he feels should value his opinion and he would expect them to be pleased about it.

So have you uninvited him yet??

I think older people don’t often use emojis correctly - even people in their 60s - I even sometimes use them in ways that my dc say are wrong and I’m 48!

I think a recommendation to the most recent popular film of the moment is fairly innocuous

Haven't rtft but as a woman in her sixties who knows a lot of men the same age, I think your partner's 100% right. Defo testing the waters and trying to get something going.

Alan Rickman. He was sexy in everything. Viggo Mortensen was sexy in LOTR but creepy a.f. in everything else.

Pervy you say, why would you let him come to your house then?
If a pervy man messaged me, I'd block and not have him in my home.

It's gone from:
OP: innocuous,
It’s disappointing but not a huge deal.
It was clearly to test the waters.
Just seemed strange.
I’m not scared or anything, more disappointed and awkward.
To
It makes me feel a bit repulsed.
And him being a pervy man.

And sometimes it’s just a pervy old(er) man thinking he’s got a chance with a woman half his age, which he has not.

Then ignore and move on.
Younger women do date older men, so some do have a chance whether you like it or not.

I'm actually a man, but maybe? I work with a bunch of 20-somethings, and messaging outside of work isn't that rare, and as I said I tend to put winky faces on lots of stuff. I probably wouldn't send a message thats completely random out of nowhere like the one this bloke sent to you though.

I wasn't saying that this guy wasn't trying to flirt with you. Maybe he was, maybe not. Just had no idea that the winky emoji was considered flirty at all!

Fair enough. I'm in my 40s so my first exposure to emojis would have been the early days of MSN messenger, when it was all just text. A ;) just meant funny, but not funny enough to be a :D back then, so more of a LOL than a ROFL.

I've obviously just not moved on with the times.

I've just stopped myself from sending a winky emoji to a 24 year old female colleague. I'm going to have to fix this habit before I become the subject of a thread on Mumsnet!

I graduated from an American high school in 2004. My friends and I used to argue about who was hotter, Viggo Mortensen or Alan Rickman. 2004 was the year Viggo turned 45 and Alan turned 58. My best friend and I used to argue like crazy because she was a die-hard Rickman fan (pun intended), and I thought Jeremy Irons was not only sexier-looking, but had the sexier voice.

I'm sure they know you well enough to figure it out! But your use seems a bit random as winky face implies irony.
So I would take "Sam loved the lunch you made him" 😉 as ironic
And "I've got a surprise for you" 😉 as flirty

I assume anyone more than 10 years older or younger than me is using emoji differently from how I'd do it anyway.

And frankly all bets are off over a certain age

His wife has been dead for at least a few years now, right?

I get that you find this uncomfortable. That’s fine. But your discomfort doesn’t mean he’s done anything inappropriate or morally wrong. You’ve been an adult for a long time now, and even if it’s a long shot, you fall into the demographic category of women who might, possibly, be interested in him. (And I suspect he knows it was a long shot, which is why he mentioned afterwards that he texted you after a few drinks.) His sending you this text is not some kind of predatory behavior.

OK. This thread has horrified me slightly so I just need to clarify something.

Is the wink emoji some universally known signal for flirting or something that's just completely passed me by?

Because if so, I've probably confused a lot of people over the last 20 years. It's by far my most used emoji, and I use it all the bloody time, with everyone. DP, DD, aunts, my brother, friends, my SIL. I've basically just been using it as punctuation at the end of a joke?

Christ, I'm becoming the old man who doesn't know that LOL means laugh out loud aren't I? I even still tend to use ;) rather than😉because I'm not into all these newfangled emojis!

He’s made an absolute fool of himself. Be polite but distant. On account should you disinvite him. That’s completely over the top.

OP seems to have been living under a rock, where older men shouldn't dare ask out younger women. (Even though he didn't actually ask her out).

Imagine if OP found out about Joan Collins and her husband 😅.