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AIBU?

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Original poster

To want to uninvite this man?

291 replies

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:18

I am having friends from a hobby (a walking group) around for drinks on Sunday afternoon. It’s quite a varied age group ranging from 20-80. I’m in my 30s. He’s in his 60s.

One man who I’ve known for around five years stopped coming to the hobby for a while, but he has now started coming back.

I sent him a message saying that I was having people around for drinks and invited him, and he accepted.

Out of the blue I received a message from him a couple of days ago. It was innocuous really, he was recommending a film and it including a winking emoji. We’ve never discussed films and I’m not interested in them. I replied asking if the message was meant for me. He replied to say it was, but it has been sent after several drinks.

It has left me a bit uneasy about seeing him. Is it just innocuous or was this some sort of attempt to flirt? My partner says it was firmly the latter.

OP posts:
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Original poster
Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 21:18

Mermaidmusing · 17/08/2026 17:05

I’d say by definition if kinda does. I’ve never met a lesbian misogynist. Absolutely nothing I’ve said has been misogynistic. You, however, have been hysterical, narcissistic and ageist for days now about something that wasn’t even worth a fuss in the first place. And after all that, he didn’t even turn up to your insignificant little drinks party 😂😂

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No, it really doesn’t.

OP posts:
Blummingorgeous · 17/08/2026 19:25

Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 16:09

No, why?

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Just wondered what your fellow walkers felt about it.

Mermaidmusing · 17/08/2026 17:05

Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 00:53

I didn’t know being a lesbian excluded you from being a misogynist.

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I’d say by definition if kinda does. I’ve never met a lesbian misogynist. Absolutely nothing I’ve said has been misogynistic. You, however, have been hysterical, narcissistic and ageist for days now about something that wasn’t even worth a fuss in the first place. And after all that, he didn’t even turn up to your insignificant little drinks party 😂😂

Robocopper · 17/08/2026 16:47

He may, or may not, have been trying it on, but I don’t think one can tell from that text. I think you are making a mountain out of a molehill. But, you of course have the absolute right to exclude anyone you want to from your house.

nam3c4ang3 · 17/08/2026 16:22

I mean, personally i think its a bit of an overreaction on your part - maybe he thought you were older than you are and were single - or maybe he was just a bit pissed from booze and you were the last person (who texted him) and who did something nice for him (invite him out to a gathering) - either way - he was probably mortified with the message and didnt come, which is essentially what you were angling for in the end, so everyone wins? Hopefully you had a lovely evening😊

Original poster
Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 16:09

Blummingorgeous · 17/08/2026 13:43

@Roaring111111 Did you tell your fellow walkers (is it a walking group?) that he messaged you?

No, why?

OP posts:
Blummingorgeous · 17/08/2026 13:43

@Roaring111111 Did you tell your fellow walkers (is it a walking group?) that he messaged you?

HRTQueen · 17/08/2026 11:43

Good. He realised he was being a creep and hopefully embarrassed

Hope you had a nice evening 😊

Original poster
Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 10:23

PeachMelbaYoghurt · 17/08/2026 01:38

Perhaps he reads MN 😉

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Well it’s worked out well if he does!

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Tcateh · 17/08/2026 09:35

Oh interesting. Must have been aware he'd been a prat.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 17/08/2026 01:45

He felt embarrassed maybe?

PeachMelbaYoghurt · 17/08/2026 01:38

Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 00:53

He didn’t turn up. No text or explanation.

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Perhaps he reads MN 😉

aWeeCornishPastie · 17/08/2026 01:01

He was trying it on. Can’t believe all the idiots on this thread that think it’s innocent

Original poster
Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 00:53

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 17/08/2026 00:36

How did it go @Roaring111111?

He didn’t turn up. No text or explanation.

OP posts:
Original poster
Roaring111111 · 17/08/2026 00:53

Mermaidmusing · 17/08/2026 00:24

I’m a lesbian, couldn’t give a flying shit about men liking me or not. Give your head a wobble.

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I didn’t know being a lesbian excluded you from being a misogynist.

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NoCommentingFromNowOn · 17/08/2026 00:36

How did it go @Roaring111111?

Mermaidmusing · 17/08/2026 00:24

Roaring111111 · 13/08/2026 21:34

Didn’t read past the first line, but any woman can easily tell when a man is trying it on with them.

The men won’t know you’re defending them. It won’t make them like you more.

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I’m a lesbian, couldn’t give a flying shit about men liking me or not. Give your head a wobble.

JoleneJoleneJoleneJoleneJolene · 15/08/2026 12:01

Does anyone know how old the OP is or how old the man is? I don't think she's mentioned it 😅😅😅

Blummingorgeous · 14/08/2026 20:52

Roaring111111 · 14/08/2026 18:58

🙄 I’m replying to a thread I started. It is the point of a forum.

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Not to this question though.

YankSplaining · 14/08/2026 20:29

Roaring111111 · 14/08/2026 17:38

Genuine age gap relationships usually involve mutual attraction, which is very clear.

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So he texted you to see if your response would give any hint that there might be mutual attraction. You did not indicate that there was, and he hasn’t pursued it further.

Original poster
Roaring111111 · 14/08/2026 18:58

Blummingorgeous · 14/08/2026 18:36

Why has this got to you so badly @Roaring111111? Has it triggered stuff? I know men can be a real disappointment but in the scale of stuff this is quite minor. But it’s really bothered you. No shade intended - just wondering how come? It’s a shame it’s tainted your event at your home as a result. Despite all the heinous stuff men can be guilty of - this is most probably miscommunication & an attempt at jokey chat on his part that backfired spectacularly. Or at worst an attempt to flirt with you. Ok you don’t want that & you’ve really put him right on that. But why is it so offensive to you?

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🙄 I’m replying to a thread I started. It is the point of a forum.

OP posts:
Blummingorgeous · 14/08/2026 18:36

Roaring111111 · 13/08/2026 21:04

I hope he is feeling embarrassed.

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Why has this got to you so badly @Roaring111111? Has it triggered stuff? I know men can be a real disappointment but in the scale of stuff this is quite minor. But it’s really bothered you. No shade intended - just wondering how come? It’s a shame it’s tainted your event at your home as a result. Despite all the heinous stuff men can be guilty of - this is most probably miscommunication & an attempt at jokey chat on his part that backfired spectacularly. Or at worst an attempt to flirt with you. Ok you don’t want that & you’ve really put him right on that. But why is it so offensive to you?

GoldTie · 14/08/2026 18:24

You’re overreacting a bit. Are you up in arms a bit because you think he must view you as a bit desperate, to appreciate the advances of someone 30 years older?

Just make sure he hears at the gathering that you have a partner, from what you’ve said he doesn’t seem like someone that would make a nuisance of himself. Unlike my 80 year old neighbour who absolutely bloody hounded me (I was 50). And yes, I was offended that he thought I would be interested.

Beingseenisneedy · 14/08/2026 18:14

Roaring111111 · 14/08/2026 17:38

Genuine age gap relationships usually involve mutual attraction, which is very clear.

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Exactly! You're not interested, so there's no relationship to be had, you simply move on.

That's if he'd actually asked you out, which he hasn't.

havingoneofthosedays · 14/08/2026 18:07

Christ you sound insufferable.
And for it’s worth I do more than send texts to men half my age 😉
Now go and enjoy clutching those pearls

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