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Original poster

AIBU to expect my parents to manage one vegan barbecue meal?

1000 replies

veganbbqdrama · 12/08/2026 17:14

Surely most people can survive if they have just one vegan meal ???!!!

My parents have decided they don’t think they can attend a bbq at my house due to the fact we are a vegan family and they are worried about ‘nutrition gaps’ !!!

Neither have any health conditions.

It’s one meal and we are offering a wide variety of things plus desserts. I said to then if they don’t fancy it that’s fine but they said it’s because they are worried about the food, and asked could they bring their own (no! ) or would I get them a few bits they can eat (non vegan) to which I said I can’t have it in the house.

Surely they could just come for a drink and eat later at home ? They are making such a fuss ?? It’s not like we are pushing veganism or the ethics behind our choice we weren’t planning on talking about it just having a nice family get together !

OP posts:
GaaNeen · 12/08/2026 17:45

Viviennemary · 12/08/2026 17:17

Can't see the point of a vegan barbecue. Barbecue is mostly meat.

Agree
being vegan is your thing
but BBQ’s are really about the meat eaters

dontmalbeconme · 12/08/2026 17:45

I wouldn't come because I wouldn't enjoy the food. I'd be honest about it, though, and just arrange to do something else with you instead at another time. Presumably you offered an invitation, not a summons? And they are within their rights to politely decline if it's not their thing.

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:45

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:44

You’d be an arsehole if you served meat to a non-meat eater or something containing allergens to someone with allergies. You wouldn’t be a dick for serving a vegetable burger whilst letting people think they’re eating meat. It makes not one jot of difference.

Show quote history

Well, I disagree, and thankfully I don't know anyone IRL who would pull such a stupid stunt to try and prove a point Hmm

Indianajet · 12/08/2026 17:45

I am vegetarian, but my parents weren't- in similar circumstances I would have agreed they bring their own food, but not to be cooked on your barbecue. They would not have eaten lentils etc.
I would rather they came carrying their own ham sandwiches than stayed away.

PurpleThistle7 · 12/08/2026 17:44

I think they don’t have to come if they don’t want to. Not sure what the fuss is about - you invited them to something, they don’t want to come, they say no thanks and that’s fine?

I am happy eating veggie skewers and hummus and bread but I can’t handle beans or most fake meat or spicy food so I do feel a bit adrift in vegan restaurants (my brother is vegan so we go out to vegan places when he visits). I grew up mostly vegetarian so can eat that happily!

id probably have a sandwich or whatever beforehand and happily snack on some of what you had. I would never suggest you should cater to me!

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:44

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:43

Because it would make you an arsehole. Grown adults don't lie about what they're feeding other grown adults.

Show quote history

You’d be an arsehole if you served meat to a non-meat eater or something containing allergens to someone with allergies. You wouldn’t be a dick for serving a vegetable burger whilst letting people think they’re eating meat. It makes not one jot of difference.

Nomoreicecream · 12/08/2026 17:44

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 12/08/2026 17:38

They are being unreasonable for not just eating the meal you are serving, you are being unreasonable for not even allowing them to bring non-vegan food to your BBQ.

Their BBQ, their rules.
I was invited to a wedding once and they said they were having a hog roast, so I went to the service and sent apologies for the meal afterwards.

onesinglepringle · 12/08/2026 17:43

It's a bit silly on both sides tbh.

Bit silly of them not to come and just embrace trying one single vegan meal.

Bit silly of you not to just let them bring something they are happy to eat.

Either or both of you could compromise a little.

Hoardasurass · 12/08/2026 17:43

ScarlettSarah · 12/08/2026 17:18

Very silly of them. Can't see why non-vegans can't eat the occasional vegan meal.

Would you say that to a vegan about eating meat if not then the vegans should provide meat for non vegans.
Honestly im sick and tired of the hypocrisy of vegans and vegetarians who demand that their dietary choices are catered to but refuse to do so for others and trot out the its just 1 meal crap.
Veganisum is the worst possible diet out there for both people and the environment.

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:43

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:42

But why? What difference does it make?

Show quote history

Because it would make you an arsehole. Grown adults don't lie about what they're feeding other grown adults.

NeatPinkFinch · 12/08/2026 17:42

Sounds incredible OP. Your parents are entitled and ridiculous. It’s one meal!

AtIusvue · 12/08/2026 17:42

They are being precious and so I
suspect that’s where you got it from.

Why on earth, if they’ve decided they don’t want to try the vegan BBQ ….cant they bring their own food and sort themselves out?

They are being terrible guests and you are being a terrible host.

DorsetMermaid · 12/08/2026 17:42

2026letsgo · 12/08/2026 17:30

I don’t mind vegan food but I’m against the ethics of it as an animal lover.
Your parents may feel as strongly as you do about your choices.

I can't understand the first line of your post.

Why would an animal lover be against the ethics of a vegan diet?

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:42

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:40

That's not what I said. I said it would be dickish to say you were serving X and then deliberately lying and serving Y instead.

Show quote history

But why? What difference does it make?

tomatoplants · 12/08/2026 17:42

Your menu sounds delicious! I’m not vegan but would love that food.

they are being very silly and set in their ways. Of course they won’t miss out on nutrition for one meal.

what happens usually at your house or have they never been round to eat?

TerfOnATrain · 12/08/2026 17:42

I’m not a vegan, or even a vegetarian, I was at best a pescatarian for nine years. I would love to be invited to a vegan dinner or bbq, I’m very open to trying new tried and tested recipes, offered by someone else, that are plant based without having to think about them myself.

Well done for standing your ground.

Nomoreicecream · 12/08/2026 17:41

Viviennemary · 12/08/2026 17:17

Can't see the point of a vegan barbecue. Barbecue is mostly meat.

It doesn't have to be meat !

DreamyRedNewt · 12/08/2026 17:41

Viviennemary · 12/08/2026 17:17

Can't see the point of a vegan barbecue. Barbecue is mostly meat.

This.

I don't have any issues with having vegan meals at all, but the idea of a vegan bbq will put me off

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:40

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:39

Why would it be dickish to serve someone a burger made of vegetables?

Show quote history

That's not what I said. I said it would be dickish to say you were serving X and then deliberately lying and serving Y instead.

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:39

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:39

Because that would be an incredibly dickish thing to do.

Would you suggest the same if a vegan was attending a BBQ with meat options?

Show quote history

Why would it be dickish to serve someone a burger made of vegetables?

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:39

PinkNailPolish2026 · 12/08/2026 17:38

Why would anyone do this? That’s just odd behaviour, you wouldn’t serve a vegan or vegetarian food with traces of meat in it?

OP it’s no big deal, they don’t want to come, it’s their choice.

Show quote history

Of course I wouldn’t, but OP’s parents do eat vegetables and OP does not eat meat, so it’s not remotely comparable.

TotallyUnapologeticOmnivore · 12/08/2026 17:39

PMSL at 'nutrition gap'....I love a steak but your parents are being daft.

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 12/08/2026 17:39

Roaring111111 · 12/08/2026 17:34

Why don’t you agree that you’ll buy meat burgers and sausages for them and then just serve them the vegan ones?

Because that would be an incredibly dickish thing to do.

Would you suggest the same if a vegan was attending a BBQ with meat options?

PretendToBeToastWithMe · 12/08/2026 17:38

They are being unreasonable for not just eating the meal you are serving, you are being unreasonable for not even allowing them to bring non-vegan food to your BBQ.

Loulou4022 · 12/08/2026 17:38

Oh for goodness sake, they are being ridiculous! Nutrition gaps indeed!! It’s one bloody meal not a whole month!!

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