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I'm refusing to help my sister pay for her children's school uniform

204 replies

mumlifeischaos1990 · 12/08/2026 14:44

My sister has 3 children and this year all of her kids are going to school, her youngest is starting nursery because my sister needs to go back to work. My sister and her husband struggle a little bit financially, hence why my sister needs to go back to work. Obviously it's that time of year where everybody is buying school uniform. Which can be extremely expensive. So my sister asked me if I could help her with the cost of the uniform.

Now her reason for asking me was that me and my DH can afford to send our children to private school. So my financial situation is different than my sisters financial situation. And of course I would love to help my sister...however I just spent almost £2,000 on my kids school uniform this year, which was more than I was expecting however they've both recently gone through a growth spurt and their school is very strict about uniform. And I can't really justify spending more money on school uniforms this month, cause I do still have a budget each month. So I politely told my sister that sorry I won't be able to help her, however I could help her look for shops that have shirts, skirts, tight, etc for a much cheaper price.

Of course my sister didn't overreact when I told her, but she definitely seems a bit annoyed at me.

OP posts:
Pistachiocake · 12/08/2026 15:00

You obviously know your own sister, so fair enough if this doesn't apply, but most people young enough to have school kids would know how to google/look at reviews to find cheapest shops, so could it be she found that insulting? Of course if she has some difficulty doing that for whatever reason/you're helping her travel to those shops, ok.

tripleginandtonic · 12/08/2026 14:59

Yabu and tight, family should help each other out.

SunnyRedSnail · 12/08/2026 14:59

@mumlifeischaos1990 state school uniform is SO cheap. Much cheaper than having to buy regular clothes for them to wear every day!

A pack of 3 polo shirts is about £5. A couple of pairs of trousers/skirts for £10 and a cardigan is about £6. So £21 per child.

Not to mention huge amounts of second hand stuff given away for free or very little money.

If you're not willing to give your sister £75 towards uniform when you've spent £2000 on you own kids uniform well that makes you super stingy!

Kaidaia · 12/08/2026 14:59

I couldn’t leave her struggling if I could help. Even £50 could make a big difference

Lurkingandlearning · 12/08/2026 14:59

Does it have to come out of your school uniform budget? Can’t you give her the money in lieu of her birthday present?

ojhdddhjs76 · 12/08/2026 14:59

I need to see a breakdown of this £2000 please Halo

Wingingit73 · 12/08/2026 14:59

I would have given it to her. How unkind.

MNLurker1345 · 12/08/2026 14:57

I thought you were going to say your sister is irresponsible with money, not just I have
spent loads on my children’s school uniforms.

Well, as long as you’re alright!

I personally would help my sister out. She is going back to work because finances are tight. Why not give her a leg up?

Missey85 · 12/08/2026 14:57

So you can help her your just not? Yeah sorry that's a bit mean it's not like she wants it for something frivolous?

Kippershirt · 12/08/2026 14:57

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Kippershirt · 12/08/2026 14:56

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RandomUsernameHere · 12/08/2026 14:56

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/08/2026 14:50

She should use vinted and ask the school if she needs additional help.

This. You can get large bundles of all the unbranded items on Vinted for a few pounds. The school will probably have a supply of branded uniform.

Kippershirt · 12/08/2026 14:56

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Misknit · 12/08/2026 14:56

If the children are entitled to the pupil premium, it is worth reaching out to the school to see if they can support with uniform.

mumlifeischaos1990 · 12/08/2026 14:55

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We aren't that close but yes she has asked for financial help in the past

OP posts:
Credittocress · 12/08/2026 14:55

You’re not obliged to help your sister but it would be the kind thing to do. I imagine she is very stressed and worried if she’s felt she has to come to you and ask this

Kippershirt · 12/08/2026 14:55

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DosPerros · 12/08/2026 14:55

Just buy the uniform already fgs

Kippershirt · 12/08/2026 14:54

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mumlifeischaos1990 · 12/08/2026 14:54

CinderellaGotOld · 12/08/2026 14:50

Was she asking to borrow money to pay you back or did she just want you to sort the uniform?

She had no plan of paying me back

OP posts:
mumlifeischaos1990 · 12/08/2026 14:54

Weeellokthen · 12/08/2026 14:47

If you can afford it, yes
If you cannot afford it, no
What the hell costs 2k for a kids uniform? Is it designer gear only? 😂

My kids school is very strict about uniform. Everything has to be bought from the specifc uniform website 😭. Both my kids needed uniforms, multiple shirts, my daughter needed a few skirts and some dresses, my son needed multiple pairs of school trousers, they both needed new shoes (PE shoes and school shoes), they both needed new school bags cause their old bags are broken, they needed PE kits, a tie, jumpers/cardigans, a hat each, jackets, water bottles. And they both needed specific uniforms for their extracurricular activities at school. Then again, there was a lot to buy

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Kippershirt · 12/08/2026 14:52

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Octonaut4Life · 12/08/2026 14:52

If you can afford to send your kids to a private school that costs £2k just for uniform, you can afford to give your sister some money to help her out.

AnneLovesGilbert · 12/08/2026 14:50

She should use vinted and ask the school if she needs additional help.

CinderellaGotOld · 12/08/2026 14:50

Was she asking to borrow money to pay you back or did she just want you to sort the uniform?