Boring eater

Yes. I went to a Chinese restaurant not so long ago and they had chips, but no sauce that would go with the chips...

Nothing worse than an extremely fussy eater. My friends husband won’t touch anything with onion or garlic in, can’t stand anything saucy and doesn’t like seasoning! She’s the main cook and I don’t know how she copes with it.

Does anyone remember, back in the day that Indian restaurants used to include one or two English meals for people who didn't eat spicy food? From memory it was chicken and chips or omelette.

That's fair enough.

I’d also struggle with someone who was a picky eater, from cooking meals at home, through to social,life and trying to cater for them. I know someone who goes out to restaurants and has a bowl of boiled potatoes. It’s clearly an eating disorder and no one says anything.

a member of your party sitting with nothing watching you eat is also uncomfortable. So you need to try to pick a restaurant where they will eat. Thus foregoing your own desires.

No thanks I will meet you after but I’m not going to dinner with you

Then I'd order something and eat what I can or not eat it and let others I'm with share it. I've spent money on food I've not eaten loads of times in order to not make a fuss or to make it easier for people.

I care about the company not the food and my foodie friends, DH and family are always happy to eat what I don't want!

Someone not eating, yes, someone eating a naan I can't see as a problem. I've done that in an Indian restaurant that just flat out refused to give me a mild dish. It's not work being ill the next day over.

"or I don't eat and just enjoy your fabulous company with a drink!"

Some restaurants where I live would not allow that.

Yes, I agree it's a problem for restaurants. Not for takeaway though. The fussy person just eats something they have at home while the other gets the takeaway.

I suppose it's about restaurants?
I don't like spicy food so that makes choosing a restaurant with friends harder.
I also have a friend who won't eat bar meal type foods because he thinks they're re-heated. That's annoying sometimes.

At home, it shouldn't be a problem - each person prepares and cooks what they want.

YANBU - I would be frustrated and probably wouldn't date someone like that OP.

Difficult as he is nice in other ways.

The worst is when people say make noises and are generally rude about what you vhose to eat.

Mention that you have, for example, salmon for dinner - "Eurgh, I couldn't eat fish, gross".

Or the times it aligns with racism - say you tried a nice korean place at the weekend "Ew, don't they eat dogs?" Or at the Chinese - "I bet there is cat in the chow mein". It is just out-dated stereotypes and ignorant.

If a friend didn't eat a specific cuisine then I wouldn't care, other than keep in mind when we are booking restaurants.

But my partner would need to be adventurous enough to be up for trying new ingredients / cuisines as matter of course.

I think it's fairly normal to see eating a meal as a communal activity to do with people that you like. If it's something important to you it's easier with someone that's eats a similar variety of food. If I had just a friend with a restricted diet I'd just do other activities.

Maybe, but I think for most couples it is spending the time together that’s important rather than the activity.

That’s not a problem with fussy eaters though. That’s specifically her being an arsehole.

The issue is that she is rude not that she has a restrictive diet.

I've been out for meals where I'm perfectly happy with my side or my chips and other people have spent the whole night making a big deal about it. Again, that's rude people not the issues with food.

What does he eat, OP?

is it good, healthy but unadventurous food or largely junk?

I go out for meals with my partner. I love socialising in this way - I just don't eat as much food as he does or the variety of food.

Wow! How do you police that?

What if they were a brilliant and lovely person in every other way would you genuinely reject the friendship?

I don't see why it bothers you. Just let him eat what he wants to eat and you do the same. As long as he doesn't go on and on about how disgusting other people's food is. That's out of order.

If he only eats a limited diet he must be easy enough to cater for? Not that you should cook for him the whole time. But when you want to.

Tell him to bring his own food if you don't have anything he likes.

I think people going out for meals with their partners is fairly important to a lot of people, that’s why so many couples go out for meals together. But obviously those people are unlikely to knowingly get into a relationship with someone who doesn’t like doing the same things as them.

Of course not.
I once spent an evening sat next to someone who was a very fussy eater at a work do, who sulked all throughout the meal because it was at an Indian restaurant and she hated Indian food. She had a plate of chips that she picked at but kept saying that she really wanted a pizza.

Others at the table told me afterwards that the sulker spoiled the meal for them as well.

To be fair, if I was booking a meal for a large group of people I wouldn't have chosen an Indian restaurant because I know not everyone likes Indian food.

Our Christmas meal that year was at a downmarket pizza place in a shopping mall because it was the only place the fussy eater would go to. She had a cheese and tomato pizza where she picked off the slices of tomato before she ate. No eating disorder, just a fussy eater who happened to be vegetarian (nothing agsinst vegetarians BTW. Lots of my family members are).

It's infuriating isn't it?
As if only a person with very low standards would eat anything so disgusting.

Nope. People with ARFID go out of their way to make sure it doesn't impact others.
Yes, occasionally I will chose a restaurant if it's my turn but no more than is normal in a relationship.
I also cook a lot of food I don't like, in fact I'm the main cook in our house and have worked in kitchens.

You can try and make this a bigger deal than it is but I know my life and my family.