Boring eater

Being enthusiastic about great food is a non-negotiable for me, as a lack of enthusiasm is symptomatic of a wider issue.

No. It doesnt. We all like different foods in my house so we all make what we like, when we are hungry. When we order a takeaway we order from different places because we like different things.

If my husband didnt want to go out for a meal I wouldn't care. If he didnt want to order a Chinese id just order for myself. If he didnt want to go round to Lee and Sarah's for a curry id go there by myself and im sure it would be lovely. Or, since im assuming they are our friends and they know what hes like, I could say to them can I bring a pack up for captain particular and we'd all have a laugh about it and he'd come, eat his sandwich and enjoy the evening. Parents for christmas dinner he could sit there with his hand in the quality street all day for all I care.

When i host christmas i make about half a dozen different dishes so everyone has what they love. Mum has a cheese pie. My bil has sausages, my sister has lamb, husband loves beef etc etc.

It just doesnt matter from a consuming food pov. In my opinion that is. I understand that it is a big deal for a lot of others because they place value on eating as a shared social experience and apparently one person having a bowl of chips while everyone else eats, I dunno, ostrich burgers or something ruins the experience.

I can see how it would if chip eater was sat there going ew urgh revolting and making retching noises but if they are just enjoying the company and eating something they like I dont see why it matters.

As an aside, I now really want to try an ostrich burger.

Has OP told us yet what her husband eats?

I asked ages ago.

What do you mean how do I go on holiday? I go on holiday in the same way everyone else does. What a ridiculous question.
I’ve travelled all over the world. It’s literally my job. This year alone I’ve travelled to Japan, Hong Kong, and India. Next month I’m booked to go to Thailand, Malaysia and Indonesia. There’s also a potential Vietnam trip either in December or January.
If I struggle to find something to eat in a restaurant I’ll still order something and eat what I can or my DH and DS will eat some of it (if we’re travelling together) but DH has no issue being the only one eating if that’s the situation.
When I travel for work I’m often on my own so I’ll eat at the hotel. Food is only one aspect of travelling and I love exploring the culture and history of various places.

Having no interest in food doesn’t mean you never leave your house 🙄

So how do you go on holiday then. My husband and I have travelled all over the world. Experienced so many different cultures, eaten the local foods. I can’t imagine going to these local restaurants is something you can do unless you sit there and watch or eat bread or see if they can cook for you seperately

very few people want to go to a restaurant and have their partner sit and watch them.

we also eat out a lot, well every couple of weeks, all types of cuisine, Indian, Thai, Philippino, Korean, Greek, Mexican, Italian, Spanish etc etc how do you negotiate this?

My DH has quite a restricted diet. He doesn't get excited by food and prefers things plain and beige. I love lots of different cuisines with lots of flavour and colourful veg, pulses etc. He eats meat, I don't. He's improved a bit since we've been together and will try some things but usually won't like them.

It drove me potty at one time but I made my peace with it some time ago and accepted that I either eat what he does (minus the meat) and don't always enjoy it or I cook two separate meals most of the time so that I can eat what I like too. It can be quite frustrating trying to decide what to cook that we'll both eat! At least he acknowledges that it's difficult for me sometimes and will always say thank you for his meals and never moans if I can't be bothered and we just have a sandwich!

I will add that I'm 95% certain he's ND (as am I) which makes it easier to accept that it is what it is. He also only has one arm which is why I do all the cooking, it's just easier and quicker!

That's what the fridge and freezer are for, leftovers.

I dated a really picky eater once and it was fine when we were in our normal weekly routine, but weekends away were an absolute nightmare. We'd spend HOURS walking round trying to find an acceptable restaurant as his diet was so limited and hardly anywhere was right for him.

Its not necessary to be “interested in food” in the sense of being a foodie.

But someone who has no interest in trying new things in any category, whether that be food or music or history, has a limited imagination and isn’t willing to challenge themself. Which to me is boring.

I had an XP like this. Tomato soup, steak so well done that you could sole your shoe with it, Tiramasu. That was all he'd eat out. Wouldn't eat cheese except the processed stuff and when I pointed out that tiramasu was made with mascapone, which is a type of cheese, his face was a picture.

Perhaps try being more open minded? Does my restrictive diet mean I should hand back my PhD or quit the job that means I get travel the world?

I think it's snobbish to care too much about what other people eat, as long as they aren't preventing you from eating what you like, too. DH doesn't want food that's too spicy, but he can be prone to indigestion, so that makes sense for him. I occasionally try something different, but I typically stick with things I know I like, because I know I'll enjoy them and don't want to risk wasting money and going hungry if I end up with something I don't like.

It does seem odd and annoying if he almost seems to pretend to be interested in 'interesting' food, though!

I'd try to find ways you can enjoy the more unusual foods you prefer while he has something else. DH and I regularly have completely different meals or start with a base that we can share but alter to our preferences (mild for him, added spices for me, for instance).

Just a vibe.

Part of developing into an adult is becoming open minded about trying new things and also working out that your openness (or lack thereof) affects those around you.
Why place so much importance on food though?
I am very open minded about pretty much everything apart from food. Food is fuel to me and if there was a way of not eating and surviving then I'd be there for that.
Having a restrictive diet hasn't stopped me living a very exciting life and having a career and a hobby that takes me all over the world. What I eat doesn't impact that.

Someone who has to have meals adapted for them or have cooked something separately, who affects what restaurants wider family can go to for celebrations, what types of holidays they can go on etc because of their complete unwillingness to deviate from a few set meals they’ve been having since childhood is selfish and immature in a way that people accept from children but which grates when coming from a fully developed adult.

Not all people with restricted diets behave like this and it's actually very narrowminded of you to suggest they do. Perhaps you could do with being a little more open minded?

You all realise that well over half of the world are like that. Your exciting hummus is "boring" diet of someone else who would not eat your food. Like half my inlaws.

Sorry but thinking people who are just not into various foods are boring, unintelligent drama lammas not worthy relationship is just ridiculous. You don't need to eat the world to be a solid, intelligent, fun person....

Part of developing into an adult is becoming open minded about trying new things and also working out that your openness (or lack thereof) affects those around you.

Someone who has to have meals adapted for them or have cooked something separately, who affects what restaurants wider family can go to for celebrations, what types of holidays they can go on etc because of their complete unwillingness to deviate from a few set meals they’ve been having since childhood is selfish and immature in a way that people accept from children but which grates when coming from a fully developed adult.

I could eat the same food every day (and I often do) as I live on my own. I’ve never been overly interested in food. I eat it to stay alive!

What makes you think people with restrictive diets are unintelligent? or don't like to travel?

It would do my nut in.

I understand that there are sometimes neurodivergent reasons or health reasons but beyond that, if someone's just a fusspot with a limited diet because they won't try new foods I would be thinking they're narrowminded, unadventurous, boring, probably not very intelligent and so on. None of which is a massive turn on!

People have mentioned why should it matter. I guess because it shows a very different mindset to what I want in a partner or friends. I want to be able to enjoy going to new restaurants and countries with my partner, I want to experiment and try new things at home, I want to be able to share meals at home.

Does it matter if your husband only eats boring food? Yes - what a ballache if it's your turn to cook. Or when you're shopping for ingredients and you can't buy something because he doesn't like it so what's the point in making a meal that he won't eat.

Some people just aren’t interested in or enjoy food as much as others. Or they just like what they like. Fair enough. I work in events, and meet all sorts of people. Foodies obviously love to be invited to posh places with nice nosh. But there are people who wouldn’t touch the food, no matter how delicious!

Absolutely and often cost about what you're ordering, or even beforehand when choosing the restaurant.

Why is having preferences around food childish? It's a common insult thrown a people who don't eat a wide variety of food but I'm yet to understand why what someone chooses ( or doesn't choose) to put in their mouth makes them childish.

One of the most immature people I know will literally eat anything. Yet he displays immature behaviour in pretty much all other aspects of his life. Why would he be considered less childish than someone who is mature, well rounded, successful etc but has a restrictive diet?

Do you both cook at home? Does that mean you have to cook what he will eat and never what you would like? That would be unfair. If you take it in turns to cook then you could start with something like a stir-fry with chicken and veg he would recognise (brocolli, carrot, sweetcorn, peppers etc) and add a small amount of a sweet chilli sauce then dish his up and add more for your own taste. You could have rice available or a few boiled baby new potatoes for him.

My MIL’s partner is like this and I find it really childish. I can’t respect any grown man who is fussy about food.