Boring eater

But I wouldn't choose to eat a meal with someone that had a food phobia as I would enjoy it less. Sorry but decent eating out is really expensive and I've never had an eating out experience enhanced by the presence of someone with a food phobia. If I liked the person enough I'd find another activity to do. If I was meh about the person then we wouldn't spend much time together. That's where the missing out would come from.

You should ask them though. They might be happy to go to a Chinese restaurant with you. I would as I'd be happy to go somewhere you like as I'll probably eat the same thing regardless!

Honestly, I've lost count of how many people have told me i'm 'missing out'. I'm not. I have a phobia of food - would you tell someone who had a phobia of snakes they were missing out by not having one as a pet?

And I've never missed out on a social occasion because I don't like the food. I have my ways of making it work without causing an issue. I'm a party animal and love socialising and if that's at restaurants then I'll still be there! I work for a university and do a lot of international trips where events revolve around food. I eat what I can or find a way around it - often nobody even realises that I have an issue.

For what it's worth I can believe in the existence of a person who is only narrow and limited in the area of food preferences. I just wouldn't willingly choose to go to a Chinese restaurant with them.

You seem very preoccupied with the idea that this is about food. Its not really about food. Food is not the benchmark.

You are making it about food. You are making assumptions about people ased on what they will or won't eat.

As I have said several times on here I don’t expect an all out commitment from people to eat exotic meals. I don’t see food as a particular barometer.

Then why are you here talking about how people who won't try new food lack curiosity about the world? You obviously do see it as some kind of barometer.

But in almost every area of life, a person who will not try to expand their universe of understanding by one iota is a person who chooses to limit themselves. I find that impulse to self limit dull, unattractive and unintelligent.

As someone who was diagnosed with ARFID as an adult I find this so offensive. If I was to try new food I would gag and probably vomit. Having an eating disorder or a preference around food does not make someone dull, or unintelligent.

If that makes me narrow minded, so be it but life is short and I don’t have to limit myself by exposing myself to other people’s self limiting beliefs. Plus I love food and don’t want to be around people who don’t enjoy it.

Here you go again, equating food and 'self limiting beliefs'. I thought it wasn't about food?
People are complex and multifaceted and rarely defined by one thing. If someone can't understand that then I wouldn't want to spend time with them and I have ended friendships and relationships because of that. One particualr friend would only ever focus on what I would ( or wouldn't ) eat and it was tiresome. I've been fortunate enough to travel the world and when I returned from trips she would only ever focus on how ridiculous it was that I didn't try local or unusual food. Even though I would always bring back local food and treats for others to try.

She certainly lacked curiosity ad open-mindedness.

Look, people can spend time with whoever they like. I certainly wouldn't force people to be my friend but to assume those with a restricted diet ( through choice or not) are dull, unintelligent and lack curiosity is absolutely being narrowminded.

Hanging out with people who don't particularly like food is a bit dispiriting if you do like food. And also, unlike hobbies etc, food is (for most people) a 3 times a day thing.

I like thinking about what i'm going to eat, where, who with - I like food that is different interesting and tasty. It's a big part of being on holiday for me, or even just having something nice in the evening. Knowing that if you are going out to eat in the evening with your partner you can choose anywhere to eat.

Cooking in the evening something interesting for yourself while they have a sausage n'chips for the nth time - would be dispiriting to say the least.

I'd have to really really love someone to be with them if they weren't into food.

That's fine if it works for you. I'd worry if I was a picky eater I'd be missing out on a lot because a lot of socialising is food based. Maybe that's different in other cultures.

Than that's their look out. But the blame isn't entirely on the the person with the restricted diet.
You can have a preference about who you spent time with and if your preference is needing to have a vested interest in what I put in my mouth then I don't want to spend time with you either. It works both ways.

I wouldn't dream of dictating what someone else eats and people don't get to do that to me.

You seem very preoccupied with the idea that this is about food. Its not really about food. Food is not the benchmark.

As I have said several times on here I don’t expect an all out commitment from people to eat exotic meals. I don’t see food as a particular barometer.

But in almost every area of life, a person who will not try to expand their universe of understanding by one iota is a person who chooses to limit themselves. I find that impulse to self limit dull, unattractive and unintelligent.

If that makes me narrow minded, so be it but life is short and I don’t have to limit myself by exposing myself to other people’s self limiting beliefs. Plus I love food and don’t want to be around people who don’t enjoy it.

But a lot of people aren't happy to do that.

It's nothing like that at all.

Perhaps if people focussed on their own meal and left those with restricted diets to manage what they put in their mouth then everyone would be happy.

It sounds like some restrictive eaters don't have realistic expectations about going out for meals with others where they aren't willing or able to eat with them. A lot of people wouldn't invite the restrictive eater again. It would be like taking a friend to the theatre and they spend the whole time on their phone, you wouldn't do that with them again.

No, you’re all right. I’ll manage without it somehow.

The wider issue for me is curiosity about the world.

Why are some people assuming a lack of curiosity about food equates to a lack of curiosity about the world?

I don’t respect people who never want to challenge themselves or learn new things; to me it’s symptomatic of a dull, limited intelligence and a sense that change is frightening which I find really off-putting.

What does that have to do with food?

I wouldn’t expect someone to eat different cuisine every night or spend tons of money on it or only eat really edgy or exotic food. I find foodies a bit tedious. I am very relaxed about people knowing what they like and eating their favourite meals. I do this a lot.
But someone who steadfastly refuses to try anything new ever under any circumstances is choosing to limit themselves in a way I find inconsistent with having an open mind. Its not limited to food: I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who never wanted to go abroad or never wanted to read a book or try a new game.

I find your comments really narrowminded. You are making assumptions about people based on one single characteristic - a restricted diet.
Just because someone doesn't want to try new food doesn't mean they don't have an open mind. Who decided food was the benchmark for open-mindedness?

I'd be interested in what new experiences all the posters who claim that restrictive diet equals boring and lack of curiosity have undertaken this year. Lets compare notes and see whether your theory plays out in reality or if it's just you making assumptions about people.

The wider issue for me is curiosity about the world.

I don’t respect people who never want to challenge themselves or learn new things; to me it’s symptomatic of a dull, limited intelligence and a sense that change is frightening which I find really off-putting.

I wouldn’t expect someone to eat different cuisine every night or spend tons of money on it or only eat really edgy or exotic food. I find foodies a bit tedious. I am very relaxed about people knowing what they like and eating their favourite meals. I do this a lot.

But someone who steadfastly refuses to try anything new ever under any circumstances is choosing to limit themselves in a way I find inconsistent with having an open mind. Its not limited to food: I wouldn’t want to spend time with someone who never wanted to go abroad or never wanted to read a book or try a new game.

My son’s nursery had its own chef and their food was very varied! 😂

That’s not very specific, tbh.

Why does not liking food mean you aren’t open to new experiences? Why is food the benchmark?
What new experiences have you had this year? Perhaps we can compare notes to see if that plays out in reality?

I would find this frustrating too, and would be unlikely to be in a relationship with someone like this.

It's not just about what you eat but mindset and not being open to new experiences. It's like people who don't want to travel. Each to their own if people want to eat only a few foods or never leave the country, but it just wouldn't fit with my lifestyle and approach to the world.

I love food and trying new things, and learning how to cook different cuisines. My family are all foodies/chefs, it's an important part of how we socialise and things we share in common.

What is the wider issue?

Such as?

Of a wider issue

Symptomatic of what?