Boring eater

We’re all different. I would find it very disappointing if I had to always go to restaurants with others or if you were out for the day in a new city you couldn’t agree on where to go because of the food disparities. If I started dating someone like that I would have to like them an awful lot in every other aspect to not get pissed off.

I couldn't date him. Food and trying new/unusual things is one of life's major joys for me, so I would want to share that with a partner.

But how do you know if someone has an eating disorder or is just fussy? We don't wear a badge and I've got to know you REALLY well before I disclose that information - ironically because of judgy people like you.
Also, I was in my 30's before I'd even heard of ARFID so everyone assumed I was just fussy. People have assumed I'm stupid, childish and all the other insults I've seen on this thread.

Why not just do away with the judgement and get to know people instead of making snap judgements?

I think thats where I see it differently because that wouldn't be an issue for me.
If they dont enjoy going to restaurants or trying new foods I honestly dont care. Theres lots of other stuff to do and if do have a hankering to try something, I can do it by myself or with friends. Shared love of food/trying foods isnt on my wishlist for a bloke.

It is surprising to me how strongly some feel about it tbh. But everyone is different and if it matters, it matters.

@MickyMoonshine

As someone who was diagnosed with ARFID as an adult I find this so offensive. If I was to try new food I would gag and probably vomit. Having an eating disorder or a preference around food does not make someone dull, or unintelligent.

Respectfully, you keep bringing this back to diagnosable mental health conditions. I've gone out of my way to make clear that I'm not talking about people without conditions like ARFID, I'm talking about people who like food and have no issues with it but just can't be bothered trying anything new. It's completely different.

A good analogy might be people who never want to travel outside the UK. A person with a phobia about flying is triggered by the prospect of travelling on a plane. That's a diagnosable and understandable mental condition and understandable that they might have trepidation about it. That is not the same as people who don't want to travel because they are not interested or can't be bothered.

I'm sorry you have ARFID and I imagine it makes life quite difficult but I don't think that takes away from the fact that all things being equal, lack of curiosity about food in the absence of a mental health condition makes someone quite lacking in curiosity overall.

I guess my issue is that people don't understand eating disorders like ARFID and just assume we're being picky on purpose. I understand that it is difficult to comprehend that I just can't try unfamiliar food, it would literally make me gag and vomit.

I have a list of 'safe' foods and I work really hard at expanding that list but it's an effort. If we went to an Italian you'd have no idea I have any issues as I love pizza and at a push can stomach pasta. I have quite a wide variety of fruit and veg on my list and I do take supplements.

The difference between ARFID and just being fussy is that someone with ARFID hates drawing attention to it and will hide it as much as possible. My biggest bugbear is people asking why i'm only eating a side/chips or why do I always order a margarita pizza ( looking at you BiL) - just leave me alone!

I had hypnotherapy in my 30's but the awful sickness i had while pregnant undid a lot of that work. I should really try again.

I’m glad you are feeling better. I’ve just never been that bothered by food. I don’t find it unappealing, but I’m content to eat the same food day after day. I know what’s healthy, quick and easy for me to prepare and eat.

I don't think it's necessarily a sign of a generally unadventurous person. I think most people are quite multifaceted and can have very different attitudes and approaches to the different parts of their lives.

I think the issue would be if you were married or dating someone who refused to try a restaurant because it was an unfamiliar cuisine, without even giving it a go. I’m not talking about people with disorders or nd, but people (adults) with a very narrow and basic palate that they’ve refused to expand.

Having an eating disorder or a preference around food does not make someone dull, or unintelligent.

I agree @MickyMoonshine
I rather think the OP was really talking about people who choose to be unadventurous rather than people who have an eating disorder.

I can't pretend to understand about ARFID as I really love lots of different foods and can't imagine how hard it must be to like very, very few things.

Are there no foods at all that you really enjoy? Do you take supplements? What help is available for people with this?

Which I can... just not to your liking apparently. But it's okay. We would not be firends IRL

Might be hard to sell on though if it was a bought property. A kitchen is still handy for when friends or family are around and they chose the food option. I’m in the food lovers camp but due to some medication recently, I went through a phase where food was a real turn off for me, I just couldn’t face it even though I felt vaguely hungry. I could just about stomach some very bland simple carbs. I seem to be coming out the other side now and getting back to my normal appetite, but it certainly gave me an insight to what it might be like to find all food unappealing.

In this context I'd define normal as being able to go to a variety of food settings and find something to be able to eat. It's not a moral or value judgement.

It sounds like you mean he only eats English cuisine?

You would no longer need a kitchen in your home (just access to a drinking water tap) if you had the pill option!

Yeah. He wouldn't give a shit what it was but he'd eat it because he was hungry not because it was an experience.
My son would go into any place and love the experience but he'd just want chips, bread or maybe a burger if its got no bits in. He loves to visit new places. Hates trying new foods. For him, the fun of something is the location, atmosphere and whether theres a museum nearby.

I drink wine but wouldn't do a wine tasting tour. Its sort of the same thing. Give me a glass, dont talk to me about fragrances and notes and whatever else they go on about. Just keep me topped up.

Different strokes for different folks.
I just dont think its ok to write off an entire person and judge them as unworthy or dull based on nothing more than what food they like.

You've shown neither though. Like I said, define 'normal'? There is a huge difference between describing behaviour and describing a person.

I wouldn't refer to my autistic nephew as 'abnormal' so apply the same respect to other disorders.

That’s not the same as people who enjoy their food and, say, want to try the new Korean restaurant that’s just opened and their partner refuses to even try it. If I was on a restricted diet I’d envy those who aren’t or those who don’t care too. After all the person on the restricted diet feels envy because they are struggling with the food deprivation.

FWIW I don't think people are jealous. Why would they be?

I do object to people referring to people like me as 'abnormal' or assuming I'm lesser of a person because I don't share their tastes in food.
It's such a minor part of who I am and it's bizarre to me that people will make such sweeping assumptions about me based on that small fact.

Its just not practical in terms of timings and oven space.
And these were not quick simple recipes . They were designed for at least 2

Because in that one regard you aren't normal. We can show understanding and sympathy for these things without pretending that they are normal.

It surely will happen sooner or later.

I agree!

I'm not ashamed. But if my friends referred to me as someone who wasn't normal I'd be pissed off. That was the point I was making.

Everyone has something about them that is different. That's okay and people don't deserve to be shamed by people like you.

He seems more casual than picky so would he happily eat Asian or Mexican if you were out and that’s what you wanted?