Boomer parents who don't help their children

Definitely NBU. I would give my last penny to my kids if they needed it. Don't know how she can watch them struggle and not help.
And a majority of those on here are liars if they reckon they wouldn't be pissed off by it...

Yes but if you had good fortune (through hard work or otherwise) wouldn’t you want to share it.

I can’t understand the concept of having money just to look at it - what pleasure would that give you ?

I hate the ‘boomer’ generalisations. My dad is so far away from the stereotype as i’d imagine are most of them.

Well.... whilst that is awful for your SIL. Has she ever been given an opportunity to get a really good education, to set her up for her future? Is there a back story you dont know about? I think we need to remember there's always a reason people have money.

Her kids must be 50/60 years old. If they haven’t done anything worth while with their lives then that’s really on them. It’s mean that she expects everyone else to pay for her meal, but at the end of the day it’s her money. My parents haven’t helped me and I didn’t sit around waiting for money either. Life is what YOU make it.

Yep this is my DH. Her 6 kids all live in poverty apart from my DH who I supported through university because his mother didn’t want to sign because she would have to declare her tax! It wasn’t on her radar to support them. She used to telephone them and report what lovely holidays she had had though!

Yup. Fellow Boomer here. No children, but I've contributed towards university for some of my cousins' kids.

I've also given money to my late husband's adult kids when - to be quite honest - I should probably have used it on my own house.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5518852-wealthy-mil-hoarding-money?reply=151794707

Did you not find the answer you were looking for the last time

YABU. Aren’t her “children” over 40 years old now?

I’ve seen these threats before and Just as I thought, loads of people saying you’re entitled, what have you done with your life, Why can’t you/SIL earn more, It’s her money to do what she wants, etc

Well, I’m sorry, but I fail to see how anyone in this situation wouldn’t feel baffled and frankly a bit hurt if their mother was loaded and didn’t want to share at the very least some of her enjoyment & experiences as a result of her wealth if not the money itself.

I think it must be!

We really do need a Bollocks button!

She sounds awful but I'd go back to the Let Them Theory. Let her be an ungenerous prick and let me choose to live my life differently.

There's a story in the Let Them Theory book where her husband was in a bad financial situation (restaruant failed I think) and her BIL had the money to bail him out but didn't. At the time it felt cruel but with hindsight, it was the right thing to do because it would've been throwing money down a failing business hole. As a couple they looked at what else they could be doing and they turned things around themselves and feel really proud of the change they made in their own lives.

Your MIL sounds blinkered and cruel, especially when it sounds like your SIL is really struggling right now.

It's sad that she's not twigged that you can't take it with you and she could be spending now in a way that would bring her more joy and connection with family.

But that's her loss. I hope your SIL finds a way through her situation and it sounds like your own kids feel better supported by you and your DH.

I’m hoping this is a sarcastic post.

Not all of them.

"Boomer parents". ?
Unfortunately, there are unhelpful parents in every demographic. Perhaps your demographic too, @hoarderofthedough

Its werid parent behaviour, my parents have gifted me and my siblings over£50k each in last few years, they had lots of spare money we were all trying to buy properties, saving ect. No way are my parents millionaires just mortgage free with excellent pensions.
I would never have asked them but they were happy to do so.
My children are now grown up and l help thrm when l can. Whether its £50 to buy shopping or more to help with bills...

Because they are the luckiest generation that ever lived, or will live to date, in terms of house prices, jobs, free university, early retirement, and final salary gold plated pensions. They single handily have more money than any other generation, but did not work any harder than others. They should pay it on due to it being unearned luck. Hope this helps.

@SpottyPyjama Please provide evidence from accredited reliable research source to prove that children of boomer parents 'have been unaffected by things like ludicrous uni tuition fees and cost of living crisis? I ask because I believe this is your opinion presented as fact.

Boomer parents…think you need to get off SM and grow up a bit

Absolutely beyond me that OP or SIL are still expecting hand outs from parents in what must be their 50s.

You're adults. Own and fund your own life.

My parents are boomers but they aren’t multi millionaires sadly ☹️

I find so many of the responses to this thread strange. For context, I am typically very anti- any mindset of 'having expectations' of parents or other older relatives. I have a very good university friend who, despite themselves and their spouse both being professionals on good salaries, live their lives as if they don't need to plan for the future (financially) because they expect to inherit from parents. I find it all very distasteful and always have done.

However this situation doesn't appear to be the same at all. From the way I read the OP's posts, it seems as if very, very wealthy parent is prepared to stand by and watch whilst child or children are genuinely struggling, without so much as treating them to a meal. And grandchildren struggling too. Surely even if you think your daughter has wasted their 20s and 30s frittering away time and money, once they're in their 40s with 2 children, arguably reaping what they've sown... well assuming you haven't totally fallen out then surely you at least treat the grandchildren sometimes, treat everyone to dinner...? I mean it honestly is quite bizarre behaviour. I agree that nobody should have 'expectations' like this of parents, and that the parent has her own money and is entitled to spend it all as she sees fit. With my own parents, I just want them to die with zero (or preferably, in debt!) having spent it all on having a good life. But that doesn't stop me from thinking the circumstances outlined here are unusual and not 'normal' at best.

Agreed. She as a close relative could chose to be a little kinder.

I find the politically-expedient term Boomers offensive. People of that generation had something intangible which has been lost in more recent times. Perhaps optimism? which overcame feelings like avarice and envy and greed.

That optimism came from growth. Population growth hugely underpinned economic growth. Between 1947 when you were born, and 1990 the world population grew from 2.3bn to 5.3bn, a factor of 2.3. More people buying and making more stuff, governments spending massive amounts on housing, transport, publically owned utilities, medical systems and education. Much of the spending was debt fuelled but nobody cared because everybody got better off.

Today it is 8.3bn. A growth factor of 1.56 since 1990, but critically a lot of that population and economic growth has not been in uk or even europe. Uk investment has been among the lowest in the developed world.

Its hard to be optimistic when you are constantly getting poorer.