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Original poster

Accidentally pregnant with 3rd child, don’t know what to do

38 replies

unexpected5 · 11/08/2026 18:47

Hello

I’ve just found out I’m pregnant and have no idea how far along I am due to being on the pill back to back for 3 months. I’m guessing the pill failed when I stupidly took 2 lots of antibiotics for a tooth infection and completely forgot that it can make the pill less effective.

I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old, they currently share a bedroom. We are in a 2 bed new build so luckily pretty spacious but we do not have room for a 3rd.

We run our own business. DH is out 5-6 days a week 12 hour days, DD is in pre school 3 days a week 9-3 and 1 year old will be going after Easter next year 3 days a week also.

Financially right now, we can afford an abroad holiday once a year, we can afford food and heating and we always do a day out like the zoo or similar for kids birthdays without it being an issue financially BUT having a third would change being able to take them abroad. I realise what a privilege this is seeing as the poverty in this country is rising and I feel very fortunate to be able to pay for food and heating let alone a holiday.

We would have to move house, we’d have to buy a bigger car, we would have to say goodbye to holidays and I just feel so sad about this situation that we are in.

The two children we have are miracles, I had recurrent unexplained miscarriages in double figures heading towards 20 losses now we feel extremely blessed to have 2 healthy, beautiful children and the life and family I have.

What on earth do I do? I don’t know if I can go through with an abortion, I think I’d think about it a lot, I’d wonder if they’d be like their siblings, I’d feel a lot of guilt (this is me personally and I am completely pro choice by the way).

I also don’t know if realistically I can cope with the mental load of 3 kids, the age gap is hard enough as it is.

If you were ever in this situation, what did you do? Do you regret whatever choice you made?

OP posts:
PeasOff · 11/08/2026 19:27

Ask yourself what you would be able to live with better; an abortion and your current lifestyle, or another child and a different lifestyle.

There isn't a simple answer I'm afraid. How does your OH feel?

ssonoss · 11/08/2026 19:24

I was in your position and I had a termination, no regrets, my children are adults now. I couldn’t have been the parent I wanted to be with three, the teenage years were a push with time and money as it was and we would have really struggled with another child.

BudgetBuster · 11/08/2026 19:23

Boreded · 11/08/2026 19:07

How is a 2 bed spacious? And where will you put the 3rd child…in the cupboard?

Yes... they'll buy a bigger house and then put the baby in the cupboard 🙄
Funny how you can pick and choose what yiu want out of the OP just to be nasty but not bither reading the full post.

Oliwiaa · 11/08/2026 19:17

You don't have the space or money for a 3rd child and having one is going to negatively impact on your existing children.
I do have three children and I wouldn't continue with the pregnancy in your situation.

StripedTee · 11/08/2026 19:15

Boreded · 11/08/2026 19:07

How is a 2 bed spacious? And where will you put the 3rd child…in the cupboard?

What a stupid response. Try reading the OP again, she said she'd move house.

youalright · 11/08/2026 19:11

It won't be the antibiotics unless you had severe vomiting or diarrhoea. Thats one of the biggest myths going so I wouldn't be so certain on your dates yet

Boreded · 11/08/2026 19:07

How is a 2 bed spacious? And where will you put the 3rd child…in the cupboard?

NeverDropYourMooncup · 11/08/2026 19:06

What do you want to do? That's all that matters. You have a home, you have an income, so what do you want?

sesquipedalian · 11/08/2026 19:04

OP, if you have had so many miscarriages, how do you know this one will “stick”? You could just wait and see what happens - and you will manage once it’s here.

Fatsnowflake · 11/08/2026 19:04

I was in this position and I now have 16 year old ds 3 who is wonderful. My dds were the same age as yours are now. It was hard but it worked out.

likeitshard · 11/08/2026 19:02

I’ve not been in this situation so can’t say for sure what I would do (although I feel I would have a termination but obviously our situations are not the same)

Right now the embryo is a few cells, if you choose an abortion it’s not ending a life it preventing the cells from growing.

It feels impossible now but Whatever you decide will be the right choice . Have you told your partner?

MademoisellePraline · 11/08/2026 18:55

We have 3, and I'd have more if time had been on our side.

However, the world is geared to a family 2 adults 2 children in a way you don't quite realise until you have more than 2. Family tickets, seating in restaurants and attractions, hotel rooms, even daft stuff like larger meal deals. From age 2 they all need adult plane tickets. You'll need a bigger house and a bigger car.

Will you survive with 3? Yes, you kind of have too, if you decide to have them. However, surviving is no fun. Not for you, not for them.

If you can comfortably afford 3, I would really recommend it. If you can't, then prioritise the 2 you already have, and give them the best life and opportunities, that they would likely miss if resources had to be stretched over 3.

Jollyranger10 · 11/08/2026 18:51

Have you spoke to your partner about this? I'd say first thing you need to do is make an appointment to see exactly how far along you are then decide what to do.