AIBU to feel cross at online school and autistic daughter over A level results?

Much if that is from students in the Middle East where actual exams were cancelled due to the war. They have been assessed by teachers etc much like our were during COVID.

I've not rtft , but on Reddit the overwhelming consensus is that there is a problem with the Cambridge grading this year. Many kids are on there lamenting that their grades are much lower than expected and teachers angry and wondering what went wrong. Do.not be cross with your daughter, request access to scripts and go from there

You need to reframe it as a success in your mind before Thursday so you can react positively not negatively.

Does your daughter have the grades she needs for the uni she wants to attend, assuming she wants to go to uni? If not you could get ahead of the game by looking at alternative unis with vacancies.

B, a C, and a D aren't too awful! She'll have options! Could go to FE college and do a foundation year/HND before university if she wants to. Nobody will care about her A levels once she has something higher.

Have I missed she's done international A levels? I can't see it in the OPs posts. Otherwise someone somewhere has massively fucked up.

Anyway be proud of your DD and perhaps next time don't fall for the online school sales pitch.

😂

Exactly!!!

Im really loving all the frothing from posters about THE SKOOL SHUDUNT OF RELEASED THE RESULTZ

Lots of pursing of lips here.

If DD has a disability OP may be her representative.

No they haven’t, read the bloody thread.

Why, she isnt an infant

And the grades are fine.

How have you seen them without her?

They are her results. Schools are normally very careful that results are not given to parents unless they have written consent from the student.

I've no idea why the school releasing the results affects anything?

It was your choice to spend the money, you weren't paying for a certain result.

I think it's more reasonable to be cross with your dd if she was lazy with her schoolwork after (presumably) wanting you to pay for private education. But I think you're equally to blame for not supporting her to manage her revision really.

Don’t you think that you should soften the blow first. Maybe let her know you’ve seen them and they may not be what she hopes but that you can work out what is next together…

Exactly this, I nearly said this in my post. I personally think OP is a bit bizarre, theres nothing wrong with a B, C, D. But then as I said peak MN that everyone is AAA or star star star probably

However that said, the posts are full of the prejudice of low expectations in some ways, posters that think they are being helpful to OP by 'justifying' what they agree with OP to be poor results, low results, disappointing results (whatever phrase you choose) are doing so on the basis of 'well, you cant expect anything else, she has ASD'

I personally dont think they are bad or poor results. However if they were, OP explains in the first post that actually she just chose not to knuckle down. Not everything that happens to someone with ASD is a a result of their ASD. She is just a kid like any other and has agency to either do the work, or not do the work.

And like others said, this might have been her level anyway. Predicted grades are hardly the thing to pin your hat on, I dont know why people put such store in them.

Hey, she's got 3 A levels, after a difficult start and feeling overwhelmed towards the end of her course. She carried on despite this, took the exams and passed them all. I hope you can manage to be pleased and proud. If her grades are enough to get her where she wants to go next, it's job done. She might find work or college much easier than studying for exams. Some people really blossom when they leave school behind.

I understand about the cost, we've financed both our sons through university and postgraduate studies. They're both now in jobs they really enjoy which have a good career path, and honestly, I couldn't be happier for them.

Best wishes to you all.

A-levels are an odd thing OP, I got CCE in mine, so worse than your daughter. I then got a 2:1 for my degree though and a distinction in my MA(Res).

Work out how to get her on to whatever next step she wants to take and forget the A-level results, they're just a way of getting there.

I think it's an amazing achievement for someone who is autistic and had a tough start to college that resulted in them having to leave and start online schooling. I'd be proud of her if it was my DD.

Have you ever considered that she may be under too much pressure due to your expectations? That's not the way to get the best out of an autistic child.

You are being really unfair to your DD @hurtandconflicted . She's fine much better than a lot of others and you should be supporting her and proud of her not being like this

These comments are wild. Speaking as an autistic person with PDA, I would definitely still consider myself as having responsibility for the things I do! It’s harder for me to exercise my free will than the average person, but treating me/people like me as if I don’t have any is just demeaning. And even worse, it removes some of the key pressure I need to function at all.

I think OP is BU to treat A level results as basically something she can buy via private education, but posters are being very U to suggest that she can’t have any expectations of her daughter at all, or that autistic people can’t also be lazy. Goodness!

Her results are fine especially given her difficult circumstances.

The international A Level results being out a couple of days early doesn't seem like an actual problem, you can still celebrate on your day off?

I think she's done really well. It's just not possible for everyone to get straight As and actually she's got ASD too.

Perhaps you could congratulate yourself for putting her in a school that suited her needs so much better where she could of been, feel proud you did invest in her.

I really hope you haven't guilt-tripped her about the money you spent - that was your choice, at the end of the day.

B, C and D are not awful results. She will be fine and you need to take a deep breath and remember that this is just one tiny thing in life.

International A level results are out today, at least for some of the boards, and they can release them to pupils immediately. IB results came out in early July.

I think she did brilliantly and should celebrate her achievements. It’s a bit harsh to even mention throwing £20K at her education, was that for her or you? I’d be having a stern talk to myself if I was you and yes I have autistic daughters