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AIBU to say that surrogacy is human trafficking?

96 replies

Finderskeeepers · 11/08/2026 17:07

I’ve just read the story of Kyla Simpson who acted as a surrogate to a single man in China and I’m horrified. The article is behind a paywall so I’ve copied the synopsis below. Surrogacy is human trafficking and should absolutely be banned. Hopefully more stories like this help our governments reach the same conclusion.

In November 2024, Kyla Simpson carried triplets as a surrogate for a single man in China named Ted Zhou. He and Simpson had entered into the contract with joy and optimism. But after his sons were born, in November 2024, Zhou never arrived to pick them up. Then Simpson learned he hadn’t applied for a visa. She agreed to take the babies home until he could come retrieve them.
Five months later, Simpson was surprised when two Chinese strangers appeared at her door and demanded she give them the triplets. They’d been dispatched by Zhou, who was still waiting for his visa interview. Running out of money for the boys’ care, he’d hired them as a last resort. Now, as his calls went ignored, he feared the surrogate he’d hired had fallen in love with his children and would never let them go.
To Simpson, the handlers’ arrival confirmed her own suspicions. She’d started piecing together a theory that Zhou was part of a trafficking ring that commissioned surrogate babies who would be separated and sold. Over the next year, she would call the FBI, accuse Zhou of abandoning the babies, try to terminate his parental rights and file for adoption.
American women gestate thousands of babies every year for overseas parents, almost half of whom live in China, yet no federal or international regulations govern surrogacy. With cultural differences, a language barrier, and a patchwork of conflicting state laws, it can be hard to tell in a dispute who is a victim and who is a perpetrator, who has been scammed and who is the scammer. Now, as the two parties face each other in court, the ruling could threaten the status of thousands of parents and define the future of international surrogacy.

OP posts:
HeyThereDelila · 11/08/2026 19:42

@FreezeThePicture there’s no such thing as well regulated surrogacy. Again, you're completely failing to consider the rights of the child.

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:40

ChalkOutlines · 11/08/2026 19:26

A lot less than half of the surrogacies in the UK are voluntary surrogacies.

I'm not talking about how common each are because that's not really relevant to the point I was making that commercial and altruistic surrogacy each have very different moral implications.

HeyThereDelila · 11/08/2026 19:39

YANBU. ALL surrogacy is cruel to the baby who bonds in utero with mother - regardless of egg used in the pregnancy - and exploitative of the woman who usually always (including in the U.K) receives financial benefit for the arrangement.

Surrogacy agencies don’t tell the women that the pregnancies are higher risk for complications either. It all needs to be banned.

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:39

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:11

Nah, pregnancy and childbirth both carry a risk to life.

If you loved someone you wouldn't want to risk that for them no matter how much you wanted a baby.

But some people are willing to risk that, especially if they've had uncomplicated pregnancies and births themselves. I've volunteered to be a surrogate for my sister and I'd do it gladly (she declined). There's also the fact that altruistic surrogacy in that case doesn't just provide a child for my sister, but a niece/nephew for me, and a cousin for my children. A new baby in the family would be a joy for everyone.

Do you also oppose altruistic organ donation to a close family member or bone marrow donation which carry risks for the donor too?

nocoolnamesleft · 11/08/2026 19:38

Trafficking babies and exploiting vulnerable women.

ChalkOutlines · 11/08/2026 19:38

Timeforachange26 · 11/08/2026 19:32

But we have had surrogates in the UK who are NOT paid for it. So how's that taking advantage of " poor" woben

Which are a minority of all surrogacies. Funny that.

Naunet · 11/08/2026 19:37

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 18:55

Equating all surrogacy to human trafficking is factually and legally incorrect because legal surrogacy relies on voluntary, heavily regulated frameworks, whereas trafficking fundamentally requires force, fraud, or coercion. According to the United Nations Palermo Protocol, human trafficking involves exploiting individuals against their will. In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent, backed by independent legal counsel, strict medical screenings, and judicial oversight to protect the surrogate's autonomy. While illegal black markets must be condemned, conflating tightly regulated medical family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the law and the reality of ethical reproductive care.

Where does the baby, the little human being being purchased, give its consent?

Scrubwren · 11/08/2026 19:34

Timeforachange26 · 11/08/2026 19:32

But we have had surrogates in the UK who are NOT paid for it. So how's that taking advantage of " poor" woben

Because the overwhelming majority of global surrogacy is rich people renting poor women’s bodies to grow a baby in.

ColinOfficeTrolley · 11/08/2026 19:32

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 18:55

Equating all surrogacy to human trafficking is factually and legally incorrect because legal surrogacy relies on voluntary, heavily regulated frameworks, whereas trafficking fundamentally requires force, fraud, or coercion. According to the United Nations Palermo Protocol, human trafficking involves exploiting individuals against their will. In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent, backed by independent legal counsel, strict medical screenings, and judicial oversight to protect the surrogate's autonomy. While illegal black markets must be condemned, conflating tightly regulated medical family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the law and the reality of ethical reproductive care.

So niave to think this. There are literal surrogacy farms in poorer countries like Nigeria.

Please educate yourself.

Even if you were correct and it's all sunlight and rainbows and everyone is a willing participant and it's all equal and these people are so happy doing this kind thing, can you not see how this 'acceptable surrogacy' opens the floodgates to the even darker side of this practice?

Timeforachange26 · 11/08/2026 19:32

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 18:41

Yes, literally renting their wombs and risking their lives because they're so desperate.

Those poor women must be heartbroken to have to literally hand over the baby they've grown and birthed.

Yet those who pay them have no shame.

But we have had surrogates in the UK who are NOT paid for it. So how's that taking advantage of " poor" woben

Mumsntfan1 · 11/08/2026 19:30

Miyagi99 · 11/08/2026 19:18

So does giving a lift to someone.

If you can't see the difference between giving someone a lift and having a baby for them you've been on netmums too long.

bluegreygreen · 11/08/2026 19:29

FreezeThePicture · 11/08/2026 18:55

Equating all surrogacy to human trafficking is factually and legally incorrect because legal surrogacy relies on voluntary, heavily regulated frameworks, whereas trafficking fundamentally requires force, fraud, or coercion. According to the United Nations Palermo Protocol, human trafficking involves exploiting individuals against their will. In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent, backed by independent legal counsel, strict medical screenings, and judicial oversight to protect the surrogate's autonomy. While illegal black markets must be condemned, conflating tightly regulated medical family-building with a human rights crime misrepresents both the law and the reality of ethical reproductive care.

In stark contrast, legal surrogacy involves competent adults giving fully informed consent

It is, unfortunately, an entirely adult-centred process, and in my opinion unethical and immoral.

Bonnie657 · 11/08/2026 19:27

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:11

Nah, pregnancy and childbirth both carry a risk to life.

If you loved someone you wouldn't want to risk that for them no matter how much you wanted a baby.

Apparently the risk of death is from pregnancy/childbirth in the UK is on average 0.0128% personally I’d risk that for my sister/niece/nephew. I understand if others wouldn’t but the world’s not so black and white.

ChalkOutlines · 11/08/2026 19:26

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:08

I think there’s a huge difference between commercial surrogacy and altruistic surrogacy. A sister or best friend carrying a baby for a couple who can’t conceive otherwise because she loves them and wants to help where the baby still has contact with the surrogate is so different from an arrangement where a couple commissions a baby from someone who is going through pregnancy and birth only for financial reasons that it almost doesn’t make sense to talk about them in the same context. The case the OP references is dreadful, but I don’t think that makes every case of surrogacy human trafficking.

A lot less than half of the surrogacies in the UK are voluntary surrogacies.

bluegreygreen · 11/08/2026 19:26

BusyRascal1 · 11/08/2026 19:01

But isn't surrogacy the opposite of adoption? In many cases (but not all, I appreciate), adoption is because the baby isn't wanted by the mother. Surrogacy is where a baby is wanted so much that people go down this difficult route, to have the baby. Surely the knowledge of being unwanted, for whatever reason, is what largely in part causes trauma?

No.

The majority of children who are adopted in the UK are not adopted in babyhood, but after there have been multiple attempts to keep the family together.

This is because research shows that, despite families having problems, in most cases where they can be helped to overcome them the child staying with the birth family is by far the best for the child.

There are huge issues with attachment disorder for many children who are adopted, even when they are adopted into very loving families. Adults who were adopted as children have written about this.

Deliberately to cause these issues in children simply because adults want to treat children as commodities is (in my opinion) immoral.

Scrubwren · 11/08/2026 19:24

Promisingtree · 11/08/2026 19:22

I don't agree with surrogacy.
But by what you're saying, no man should ever want his partner to get pregnant

It’s a big ask, yes!

IronEverything · 11/08/2026 19:23

There are so many words I could use to describe surrogacy. I just wish that one of them was the word "illegal".

Promisingtree · 11/08/2026 19:22

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:11

Nah, pregnancy and childbirth both carry a risk to life.

If you loved someone you wouldn't want to risk that for them no matter how much you wanted a baby.

I don't agree with surrogacy.
But by what you're saying, no man should ever want his partner to get pregnant

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:19

Miyagi99 · 11/08/2026 19:18

So does giving a lift to someone.

Yeah because that's exactly the same thing as them allowing a loved one to risk their life to give them a baby 🙄

ChalkOutlines · 11/08/2026 19:18

Boreded · 11/08/2026 18:58

But you are about to find out that people think that it is the same as renting shelf space in Tesco, they’ll claim you are a man (unsure why, unless gender means you view things one way or another 🤷‍♀️) or that it is all people buying a poor slave’s body, even that it is the same as prostitution…that’s the replies I got when I suggested that all surrogacy was not akin to human trafficking.

The people here are bizarre

Look, if you can pay for it, if you can select desired features and more importantly if you can change your mind and wash your hands off the whole thing(or worse endanger a woman’s life because she signed a contract) it’s that callousness that makes it just like buying a product .

Miyagi99 · 11/08/2026 19:18

SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:11

Nah, pregnancy and childbirth both carry a risk to life.

If you loved someone you wouldn't want to risk that for them no matter how much you wanted a baby.

So does giving a lift to someone.

SockPlant · 11/08/2026 19:16

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SwanRivers · 11/08/2026 19:11

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:08

I think there’s a huge difference between commercial surrogacy and altruistic surrogacy. A sister or best friend carrying a baby for a couple who can’t conceive otherwise because she loves them and wants to help where the baby still has contact with the surrogate is so different from an arrangement where a couple commissions a baby from someone who is going through pregnancy and birth only for financial reasons that it almost doesn’t make sense to talk about them in the same context. The case the OP references is dreadful, but I don’t think that makes every case of surrogacy human trafficking.

Nah, pregnancy and childbirth both carry a risk to life.

If you loved someone you wouldn't want to risk that for them no matter how much you wanted a baby.

horchatatresleches · 11/08/2026 19:08

I think there’s a huge difference between commercial surrogacy and altruistic surrogacy. A sister or best friend carrying a baby for a couple who can’t conceive otherwise because she loves them and wants to help where the baby still has contact with the surrogate is so different from an arrangement where a couple commissions a baby from someone who is going through pregnancy and birth only for financial reasons that it almost doesn’t make sense to talk about them in the same context. The case the OP references is dreadful, but I don’t think that makes every case of surrogacy human trafficking.

Bonnie657 · 11/08/2026 19:07

This story yes and I am against paid surrogacy but if I was to offer to carry a baby for my sister for no financial gain (which I absolutely would do), then no I don’t believe it is and don’t see why that should be banned.