To be disappointed that my ds has decided not to go to uni.

There are also apprenticeship options in Business Management- so he could look at that. No point going to Uni right now if he isn’t committed. There’s plenty of time for study later if he wants to - and other options for business management if that is still his interest.

He just needs to keep his options open so contraception is definitely key!!

My youngest ds had really good A level grades and then suddenly said he didn't want to go. I thought he'd take a year out our then change his mind so I said nothing. He got a job in a local warehouse and starting earning money. He's still there 8 years later. His friends with not such good A level grades as DS got went to uni, got good degrees and launched into careers in Fin tech. One of his friends now earning £138k and best friend £102k. DS got small promotion and saved hard and I helped him with a £55k deposit and he's bought his own 2 bedroom house. He's had it decorated nicely and he over pays his mortgage each month. His best friend recently become a father and he said out of the blue I should have gone to uni when my friends did. Why didn't you push me to go? I told him I thought if I tried to push him to go he would be against going even more and I'd expected him to reapply following year. He now seems to regret not going. I've told him he could still go and I'd cover his mortgage for him for 3 years but he's said no again and believes it's too late. If I could go back in time I'd have spoken to him and asked him to go rather than thinking he'd opt back into education on his own.

And everyone knows the system needs a total overhaul. And it’s probably coming soon - it’s a constant discussion inside universities too. Everyone is fully aware that the system is broken.

But what’s depressing about this thread is the lack of ambition for young people. That the most lauded aspiration is to get a mortgage. The students I work with from around the world- multiple countries- aren’t like this- they are ambitious and want to create change. It’s a purely British cultural thing to devalue education and it’s terrible.

Tuition fees are just part of the picture. He needs to pay accommodation and living expenses too. It's a very generous offer from the GPs.

Why did he want to do business management? What did he expect that degree to give him? Is there a way he can achieve it without a degree?

Just encourage him to make a plan and save if he’s working . He might decide to go later he might not, there’s plenty of time. My dd didn’t go and is doing fine.
Even if he has fees paid he will probably still end up with debt, with living costs.

There are plenty of nursing jobs. She needs to move. No grad can expect a grad job by staying local and not applying to many NHs trusts.

The vast majority of people who go to university don't do any of this though. They go to get drunk most days of the week, take drugs and shag as many people as possible in 3-4 years.

Thirty years ago there would be no consequences for doing this.

Today, that will lead to a lifetime (well almost - 40 years for those currently at university in England) of paying what is essentially a graduate income tax of an extra 9%.

You can't live your kids lives for them.

Trying not to be thick here but how is business not related to most jobs and what kind of jobs are thinking a business student should do?

Genuine question… what about the fact that they’d be missing out on the “experience” of three years at university?

Neither of my sons went to uni. They both did apprenticeships.

They are now 23 and 27 and are working for a water company and both on £50k+ a year!

My youngest son’s gf has just finished her nursing degree with a debt of £60k and can’t get a job! If she can’t get anything by October time she will try Tesco or M & S. It’s crazy,

University isn’t for everyone!

BUT young people should have a choice - this thread is so parochial.

I am the first to acknowledge that the finance system isnt working for young people. And I also think Burnham is right to rebalance technical education also.

But the idea that learning is a waste of time and that getting a mortgage at 20 and having kids is the most appealing option is pretty bleak.

Is this something you actually know about? Do you work at a uni?

It's too broad a subject. Accounting and finance are superior options.

Don't blame him. I wish I hadn't gone to university, it was a terrible few years in my life, and, in hindsight, completely the wrong decision for me. But due to the biased messaging coming from school (that we'd be setting ourselves up for a harder, less financially successful life without a degree) it felt like it was the only choice.

It's hard to feel now that I wouldn't have done better training as a plumber or electrician or something like that, and it's definitely what I'd do these days given these careers are increasingly in demand and immune from being made surplus to requirement because of the wonders of AI.

Stop living vicariously through your son. Honestly, going to uni is rarely worth it. It doesn't even matter if your parents are prepared to pay for it, because presumably he'd still have to pay that back at some point later down the line?

According to who? And how is any worse than any anything like history, art, geography etc... And which climate are you talking about?

Maybe start charging him commercial rent if you are not already doing that so he can get a feel for true living costs.

My mum did that. Meant i had no money left and couldn't save for a deposit on a rented flat alone or a flat to buy.

I failed to launch because of the rent I paid her not because I was living for free. No rent would have meant I left a heck of a lot sooner.

Oh and I went to Uni.

🤣

Because uni isnt the final goal, it’s only a means to an end.
there are many other routes to building a successful career, such as apprenticeships college courses, on the job learning.

Your job now as a parent is to figure out with him what his next step is, the rule in this house was that we would support them, but they weren’t going to do nothing. One went straight into work and has had several promotions, and the other did a trade apprenticeship and is now time served and earning very healthily.

Into full time employment at 18, retired at 54, huge pension, who needs university degrees and debt to be successful

God yes. There has never been a guaranteed outcome from university, but the experience can be amazing and transformative for each individual. I loved it and gave up a well paid job to go. The idea we should all stay in the home town we were born in, get jobs and buy houses young is beyond boring.

Also, I'm currently seeing so many more requirements for degrees in job adverts.

I'd suggest he sees if he can defer for another year. Unless his A Levels are good enough that he could reapply in the future and be sure of getting a place he likes.

I'd have another conversation about his long term career plans if he doesn't go to uni. Is working full time in a bar or similar minimum wage job enough to live on independently in your area, bring up a family etc.

Maybe start charging him commercial rent if you are not already doing that so he can get a feel for true living costs. So many kids "fail to launch" (including some who go to uni and then return home), often because they can have a nice social life on a basic salary because they are still
living off their parents.

My DS is still very young but I won't be pushing him to go to uni purely because I did and my career has ended up being nothing to do with the degree, I could have saved myself the debt. There's definitely other good paths where you can do apprenticeships or work your way up etc. I actually took 2 years after college to work before finally going to uni so he still could end up going. He might need to try the alternative before deciding he wants to go after all :)

In your sons case if he's been enjoying travelling and working then uni really helps to kind of extend the fun years before settling into adult life which might appeal to him. Very long summers, plenty of socialising and making friends plus learning to live alone. The fact it's paid for is even better!

There's definitely pros and cons though. I feel like going to uni late delayed everything for me from having kids to getting married as I was 2 years behind where I could have been.

Also uni debt is a depressing millstone around his neck if he ends up in a job or career he hates.
It can feel like a trap. Just to have bought the university experience.

Says who though? I am a careers adviser at a uni - the business management students make up the largest percentage of our student population to go on an industrial placement year. Loads of them go- employers value the broad range of skills and knowledge.

Some of the comments on this thread are so ill informed.