To be disappointed that my ds has decided not to go to uni.

The degree seems a bit broad and not leading to any specific career. It’s his choice, doesn’t mean you can’t be disappointed. My brother chose not to go due to a girl, became a father at 20 and at 50 plus is in a dead end job.

I get he doesn't want to be in debt with it. He probably feels by going he'll be forever in debt with his grand parents. Going to uni might not even make him happy. His long term goals may have changed. If he changes his mind about uni he could go at a later date. Plenty of people do

Is that what is called a Mickey Mouse degree

I think he sounds sensible. I know several people who did it to keep parents happy and most of them dropped out or scraped thirds and in one case went back and got a second (more serious degree) with savings + commercial debt.

Going and hating it is the worst of all worlds.

And as for you parents offering to pay and this being his only chance I think that’s a bit shit. Sorry but it is, why now or nothing? If he did a few years working and realised that he wanted to go in three years when he was more motivated and more likely to succeed they wouldn’t support him then? Seems like a lot of pressure for something he clearly doesn’t want to do!

This isn't about the pros and cons of University, which most of the replies are geared towards. This is about a gf dissuading her bf from pursuing a potentially life changing opportunity. Why exactly does she not want him to go? Also, what plans does your son have, if he is no longer going to uni? If he is not truly interested in business, that's fine and honestly, he should only do a subject that he is passionate about. But not having an plan or a goal, is also not good at his age as he can easily become aimless. He is too young to be moving in, especially if his gf is also not ambitious. Be honest about your thoughts, you are his parent. You have a right to guide him.

What I'm saying is that OP needs to find out what her DS's girlfriend is putting into his head & why.
Just because DS decides he's going to Uni it doesn't automatically mean the end of their relationship, hence if a relationship is meant to be it will survive him going to Uni regardless of what he does or where he goes.

Does he have to go to university straightaway?

I think this rush from school to gap year to university can be an error. Lots to be said for taking time and working and finding out what you don’t like.

Me and my husband didn’t go to uni, he’s worked full time since he was 16 and me from the age of 19, I’m actually in a job that usually would require a degree! Our only debt is our mortgage and a car that’s paid off this time next year. Why are you blaming his GF? A woman is not responsible for a man’s actions. This is on your son, not her 🙄 as long as he has a plan in place, then let him crack on.

If it’s any consolation me and my DH have been together since I was 16. I did the traditional college, uni route. He did 1 year at college and dropped out and worked on a bar, his mum and dad were devastated. He’s far succeeded me in his career, doubles my wage with much better working conditions.

It might just work out in the end

If I were in the uk I'd only encourage my children to go to uni if a specific degree is needed for their planned career e.g. doctor (which is DD's current plan). In my country where uni is free I'd also encourage it if very academic so would really get something out of the studying and learning and exchange of ideas. I wouldn't recommend it just because it seems like the next step after school, better to avoid debt if possible.

Definitely tell your son he needs to make a career plan and figure out what steps he needs to take next.

Well my eldest DC is 25 has a 1st in a sci subject from top uni and a distinction in a masters in law. She's earning 34k. DC 2 is 24 didn't go to uni and is making 100k, hasn't capped out and owns his own home with none of the debt DC 1 has. If your ds is driven it could be the best decision he's made.

Uni is not what it once was. There are loads of jobs now where having a degree is really not necessary and it is just a massive waste of money. My DH works in tech and most of their new starters don’t have degrees

going to uni for a generic degree is fairly pointless in my opinion. I know lots of my daughters friends who graduated last year are doing the same types of jobs she did 3 years ago and she is now earning more than them because she has experience they sonr have. if you plan to be a doctor or a nurse or something that requires a specific degree then that’s different but otherwise I don’t think it’s worth it. he can always go to uni later on too.

Uni isn’t everything. I know loads of people who are working minimum wage jobs 5 years after graduating. The most successful person in my school year went into work as an apprentice. She was able to fully retire at age 50.

Id be more worried about the moving in with a partner than not going to uni tbh (I'm v anti tying self to one person too young). Maybe he'll decide to go given a few years. Or maybe he'll start to do work with some good progression opportunities, in which case , uni isnt needed.

I don’t think it’s wrong to discuss your worries; poor job options in the future, “settling” too early etc.
I’d try and find some middle ground such as part time studies taking useful courses.

Uni is often a waste of money unless you’re picking something very specific that always has available jobs. Business management…why? He already has a job, just as likely to work your way up in any establishment over time than you are to skip the line with a degree. And once you’ve been a manager in one you can be one in another.

Might be a useful course if he had something he wanted to start up himself tbf, but he could get a book or two and skip all the years of study for that.

I think he’s doing the right thing, coming from someone who wishes they’d never bothered with uni tbf so Im probably biased. But I left without any debt and it still wasn’t worth the effort.

Good on him for not blindly following the masses. Let’s be real, a hot girlfriend and a steady bar job at 19 is probably going to be up there with the best years of anyone’s life. …switch it for exams and no guarantee of a better job? Hahaha no thanks.

@ScarletLisa Yes, the degree might not be the right fit, but being talked into not leaving his home town by his gf isn't good either.

I would find out more about the girlfriend putting ideas in his head.
If a relationship is meant to be it will survive university.

Personally I think a Business Management degree isn't a good subject unless it's studied at a good university such as Warwick, LSE or another top uni with excellent graduation destinations,

Business tends to be one of the degrees with the least benefit for future employment prospects and salaries, so he may have made the right choice, though possibly for the wrong reasons, if it is all to do with his girlfriend.

Now he has made the decision, the main thing is to encourage him to come up with an alternative long-term plan for his future: apprenticeship, entry-level job in a sector he is interested in, some other kind of college course (full or part time), work for a while to save up and travel/do a working holiday. Just don't let him drift along in a dead-end job!

Business management isn't just for people who want to run businesses.
University isn't just about attending lectures and writing essays. You learn a damn sight more about life than you do in your chosen subject.

How is studying business management a fantastic opportunity?

Does he want to run a business?

I think his girlfriend has been putting pressure on him not to go.

This is the part that rings alarm bells with me. If he personally doesn't want to go, fine, but not going because his girlfriend has persuaded him not to go isn't a good reason.

I'd talk to him about what his plans/ambitions are, he needs to be sure that he's doing what he wants, not what his gf wants. One of my uni friends met her eventual husband in her teens and he didn't persuade her not to go to university; he was v. supportive.

@FearandanxietyThe smart move would be for his grandparents to give him the £30,000 they would have spent on the fees. At least he would have a house deposit in a cheap area.

Do you, or DS know how loans for university work? The amount paid back every month depends on what you earn, not what you borrow. So if he didn’t earn much he would pay next to nothing back. If he borrowed the maintenance loan, but not the tuition fee loan, his repayments are EXACTLY the same each month. So he’s not better off every month by having fees paid.

What he might be able to do now is get an apprenticeship. You also need to realise many grads are doing basic level jobs with a degree and the loans are never paid back. I assume he doesn’t know this if he’s saying he’s risk averse in terms of the loan. Of course he might get an amazing job and be a high earner. He will still pay based on earnings, not size of loan. In those circumstances the £30,000 would be even better as a house deposit.

It’s all down to which uni and what career he could have got. Top elite uni - he should go.and take the maintenance and fee loan. Second division or lower, can he get the same job with no degree and could he work his way up? He can do a degree later or via an apprenticeship if he’s talented enough. The £30,000 is better used as a house deposit if he becomes a decent earner. It’s wasted if he gets a degree and a very basic job paying very little in loan repayments. The £30,000 is thrown away.

This is true. Someone in my family di a degree apprenticeship after dropping out of uni in the second year. He was a straight A student, as were the others recruited by his company at the same time. They were all older than school leavers too.
Gone are the days when kids could leave school at 16 with no academic qualifications and pick an apprenticeship to do. Employers can take their pick now.