To be disappointed that my ds has decided not to go to uni.

I didn't go to uni and I've got a good job full time. My brother went to uni late around 24 years old and has done well for himself. Uni isn't for everyone and most uni students I know personally have done nothing with their degree and have a huge amount of debt

How refreshing to hear a 19 yr old not being succoured into the university dept trap. I’d be proud of him, not disappointed
As for business managment, that’s as much use as a chocolate teapot.

The white goods engineer fixing my washing machine was saying just last week he clears easily 40k and gets the chance to do overtime if he wants it, the engineers gas registered are on at least 50k often more for what they're doing....He's with a large company well known in the UK. He said they're currently taking on apprentices right now.

Depends what he’s going to do instead such as degree apprenticeship, look for a junior role etc. He can go to uni later, even a couple of years won’t make a difference (my DS’s best friend in his course was 10 years older than him). It has to be his decision though, not his GF’s.

I would say these days going to uni isn’t the be all and end all. Both my DC went - one is def not working in a grad job(!) and the other who has just graduated is looking for work but in a bit of a half-arsed manner. However, his degree will get him places eventually, not sure about DD’s.

It sounds to me like your son never really wanted to go to Uni, if it was business management he was to study.

Do you think you were pushing him too much? He also took a gap year out which should have given you a hint.

With AI coming in, business management will be needed even less. These are always the jobs that go straight away during redundancies and top jobs go to those with experience.

I would ask him what his plan is, at the very least he can start an apprenticeship somewhere.

He will get three years head start on everyone else and won’t come out with huge debt. Even if grandparents are paying tuition, surely he’ll have to take a loan for accommodation etc?

My parents probably thought the reason I didn't go was my boyfriend.

It wasn't. I just could not stand another year of studying. I was not interested in the least.

I finally went at age 32 but only because I was too ill to continue in my chosen career.

Colleagues daughter got a degree in history and philosophy a year ago. She's working full time in a pub as she can't get a job. You're son is doing that without the additional debt.

I'm baffled as to why my colleagues daughter has now started an MA in history and philosophy. She couldn't get a job with the undergraduate in it.And now she's throwing good money after bad on a postgraduate in the same discipline. It's happened, I suppose, but it's a hell of a waste of money.

There’s every chance that after 3 years of his course he still won’t have a plan if he’s that type of child. I had my 4 years at uni, finished over 30 yrs ago and still don’t quite know what I want to do…in the meantime I’m doing my bit to teach youngsters and I’ve taught thousands of your kids over the last 25 yrs - some in SEN schools, some in FE college, some in prisons, most in mainstream secondary. Fascinating to see the links between parental support, expectations and outcomes over the years. So many threads on here with ready-to-be-disappointed parents this week.

@Nocommentisacomment, I do agree with you. I see all of the skills you state in my DD and I am continually impressed. She will eventually do a PhD.

Her first degree was in business studies. She now has her own business and she is sometimes frustrated with the lack of those skills in the young people she has taken on and the associates she comes into contact with in the field.

I was going to say that too. If you've got a place at a top business school in a good university to study that's one thing. But even then it hardly has a defined career pass where you just walk into a job.

But if not, what's he going to do with a business management degree? Unless he wants to manage a business what's the point.

Too many young people going to uni thinking it's the only way to be successful.

Your DS could look into an apprenticeship. Now that would be smart. Loads of electricians needed out there. Tilers, joiners, plumbers etc. These trades are making a fortune right now and there's a dire shortage at the moment. Many companies are taking on apprenticeship just now. Earn whilst you learn.

Turn this on it's head. Your son is the smart one avoiding all the sheep heading to uni.

I don’t agree. University can be incredibly valuable even if it doesn’t directly lead to a higher-paid job.

A degree is not only about the career it leads to. You gain transferable skills such as critical thinking, research skills, communication, problem-solving, and the ability to understand and evaluate evidence. In today’s world of social media, misinformation, and fake news, these skills are more important than ever.

I have a BA, two master’s degrees, and a PhD. By the time I finished my studies, my field had practically disappeared (partly due to the challenges facing UK academia), but I would never regret doing it.

The knowledge, skills, confidence, and experiences I gained are things you simply cannot put a price on. Education is not only about earning potential; it is also about becoming a more informed, capable, and thoughtful person.

Not sure how that’s going to set him up for life
all well and good if you can afford to write the cost off not everyone is in a position to

There is no excellent degree to have if you don’t have a plan to utilise it, especially these days. He doesn’t sound very motivated right now, a mediocre grade degree with no direction is worth less than not going and taking some time out to work out what you want, in my view.

It makes me so sad to hear how “useless” people think degrees to be. Having three years to not have to worry about real life, study something you’re interested in and hopefully have a laugh along the way is an absolute gift.
One of mine is studying a traditionally academic humanities subject that probably won’t lead to a career. He absolutely adores his course and is having a blast. For now, that’ll do me.

I think it might be wise to take a couple of years out to try and form a new plan. The world of work has changed an awful lot in the last couple of years and the threat of AI taking over many professions is very real. My youngest was adamant that he would do a degree in comms, got in to a good uni but decided to decline and think of a new plan. He is now thinking he will take a year and figure out what else he would like to do, but it will most likely be something more practical and less theoretical. Luckily he has a fun job that keeps him busy 30-40 hours a week so he's not just drifting.

There is some sense in not racking up a lot of debt doing a degree you don't particularly want to do. However, that needs to break alongside having a Plan B. Does he have one?

Sensible lad, IF he gets a job instead.

I have loads of kids, but the 2 I am writing about are 12 months apart-

Kid 1 - worked from 18, now 23, rep for a company, buying own flat worth £200,000 with a 10% deposit. Has company car/phone/benefits

Kid 2 - in last year of uni, unsure what to do after, stacks of debt though has a summer job. Hardworking, but will take years and years to get to the stage Kid 1 is at, even with a degree.

Schools have long promoted uni and saddled kids with unpayable debts with the premise it "wasn't a real debt". I am pleased to hear young ones now not falling for the lie - caveat being they are actually getting a job and not dossing around

Give him the space to work it out for himself. A few years of minimum wage may focus the mind for them both, and these days careers are so much more fluid and he can always go later.

@Fearandanxiety, I was disappointed when my DD said she was not going university. She was working also, but in a job that did have some prospects. After a year she said that she was seeing the graduates come in, with less talent and experience than her and immediately earn more money. The wasn’t an entry level job, before everyone reminds me that this isn’t now the case.

Anyway she went, we are 2 Degrees and a Masters on now.

Keep speaking to him about it. As his parent you have every right to be involved in his future prospects and to offer advice and
to be someone he can talk to.

Could he go to a local university as girlfriend doesn’t want him to go away?

University. For too many an expensive debt ridden route to a low grade job you could have got straight from school.
University is not everything.
There are too many universities, too many students, too many poor courses and too many graduates with useless degrees.
And too few "graduate level" jobs with graduate level salaries to recoupe the debt.

A business course can be extremely useful, and is not a pointless or vanity subject.

Some others are.

Wise decision. He can always get a degree later

university is a huge expense. Hopefully he applies for apprenticeships instead

It's also a very different world from what it was when people left school at 14/16 etc and are already retired at 50. Kids this age won't be getting a triple locked pension. They'll be lucky to get one at all and already can't retire at 50.

I agree with this. There's no rule that you can only go as a teenager. Let him work in a pub, be with his girlfriend, get bored, realise he wants more and attend uni later on, with a genuine keenness to learn. I think most people would get more from uni in their early twenties than aged 18 or 19. I'd support his decision while casually commenting that uni will still be there later if he changes his mind.

The debt is ferocious. Even with family covering tuition fees, the CoL needs a loan. If people can progress their careers without uni, it could be a wise move.