AIBU to ask people with similar finances ..

What are other people paying for food toiletries and clothes for them and 2 kids??

Broadband is fibre yes, reduced from a £75 sky package to EE fibre when we separated. I was sick of over paying for crappy internet and Tele i hardly watched. I do watch BBC iPlayer occasionally, and itvX could probably live without them...as long as ex doesn't bump us off of hisNetflix and prime. 😅
My mortgage advisor sorts my house and life insurance each year, to make sure it's the best deal for the coverage...so reducing it would likely mean less coverage, but it's up the end of this month, so I can definitely have a look myself

Kids are 7&9. I admit I am terrible for buying second hand as half the time, the postage on vinted stop it being much cheaper than new from local and I hate searching for stuff, never been big on shopping. However all my son's clothes go to a friend for her son and we get stuff from her daughter for mine and sell that and anything I have brought, as a bundle to one of my mum's friends for her granddaughter (Though would likely get more of I took time to sell some of the good stuff individually.) Friends daughter and mine dont go to same school or clubs though
I have a big pile of better bits to sell, but I have ADHD...so that pile keeps growing whilst I do nothing about it
We always take a pack lunch for days out cos my son (also ADHD) is a really picky eater. But will buy ice creams and sometimes extra drinks
I am generally pretty thrifty I think unless it requires too much execution function...like selling on clothes and food prepping and do sometimes pay a bit more for convenience.

So Bills...
Mortgage £1275
Council tax (&brown bin)
Gas and electric £135
Water £60
Internet £40
TV licence £15
Life insurance £65
House insurance £48
After school babysitter £130
Savings £100
Car Tax, MOT & insurance £60
Extra curriculars £300

Yearly parking for country park (£50/60ish)
No regular beauty, no streaming, no Costa/Starbucks. Don't smoke rarely drink
Fish and chips after swimming on a Friday (£14)
Food and bedding for kids guinea pigs. 2 of clubs require uniform.
Half terms and a couple of times in summer and once Christmas and Easter will usually do a day trip average £80-100 including tickets petrol and ice creams.
Petrol is low generally, walk kids to school work from home 4days and 10 minute drive.

So majority of that £280 is going on food, toiletries and clothes...still at that age where they are next size each season 🙃

They are school mums I am reasonably close to, have play dates etc, but not close enough to know more about their other halves/finances. I barely go on Instagram, we are in our 40's so still on FB 😆
I totally get why I might sound jealous, (and I am a little, who doesn't love a holiday, but honestly not in a big way that's making me bitter or anything) it's more than it has me wondering about my own finances and whether I could do better.

This is where my mortgage is the kicker I think. As the rest of my budget is slightly less than yours but mortgage is £1275. I have looked at downsizing, but financially I won't really be better off as, the difference is what the ex is still paying (this is where I know I am lucky compared to many single mum as he is still paying half, with no pressure to sell as he currently doesn't need to buy/rent) but if I reduce mortgage by £600...he will reduce payments by £600)
I may have slightly lower bill and council tax...but not significantly.

Yes, I know you are right, that's why I wanted to hear from people with a similar budget to mine, to see if they were managing these things and if they are....by what magic! Haha.

I've answered some of this is reply to someone else.
I do have a pretty clear list of bill for whole year that include yearly ones like MOT& service and car tax (that usually covers all of it, though needed a new clutch this year, so had to take extra out of savings) and I have separate bills and spending account to keep bill money seperate. Obviously the occasional thing comes up like needing a new phone or this year my dishwasher died. As long as it isn't straight after a kids birthday/Christmas or summer holidays, there is usually part of the amount in savings at least.

I am genuinely not jealous in any big way and truly appreciate I am more comfortable than many in current economy. Just seeing everyone flirting off on holiday and thinking am I just poorer or am I going wrong somewhere! 😆😭. Definitely also could do with upgrading the car before everything starts going wrong, already had a few jobs need doing 😅. Like I said, the mums aren't big earners by a long stretch, but the dads could be earning buckets for all I know.

I did add up all my spends when we first separated in order to budget and cut out a few things (had got into habit of picking up a Greggs for us all after work on a Saturday morning and buying bacon baps when we go for a walk on a Sunday etc. Also had been buying prep meals to try and be healthy and lose some weight, but stopped all that)
I could probably still do a bit better with food spends...but nothing drastic I don't think and son and I are both ND so quite picky) and already don't do any of the obvious bits people usually suggest to cut back on, as mentioned with coffee/streaming nails etc) I could also maybe be a bit tighter with what I spend on kids clothes, treat days etc...but again it's still nothing extravagant that's gonna save hundreds, more £20 here and there.