Worried about GCSEs

GCSEs are not the end of the world. There are alternatives. You’ll help her find them.

TBF pressing someone into uni isn't good. But making sure your DC does as good as they can in their GCSEs is fine. Like they aren't the top caliber but they should at least aim to pass.

I am in touch with precisely 0 people with whom I went to university. It opened NO doors.
Yes I learned to live independently on £0/overdraft, and - to my parents - was an acceptable way of leaving home.
I was the first person in my family to go to university and earned "great praise" on getting a degree. A good degree, from a good institution.
I work in my passion area for not much money and a great deal of happiness.
I loved the academic rigour of university and how it shaped my critical thinking... would I do it now for excess debt? ABSOLUTELY NOT.

Hairdressing is not a low paid job. All the hairdressers I know make a good living. Get your head out of your backside and support your child.

Does she want to go to uni? With the massive costs and debt, I would only encourage a dc who genuinely needed uni for their chosen career.

What does she want to do? Unless she knows what she wants to do there isn’t much point going to Uni. She does need to get a pass in maths and English though. Have you looked at local colleges to see what they can offer alongside maths tests? There is also a functional maths GCSE she could do instead. Most jobs only want Maths and English pass marks so best she focuses on those. The choose a course at college she will enjoy.

She isn’t you, let her find her own path.

TBF I have to wonder about this poster looking at their username and having a very blunt "uni or nothing" approach

I’ve been a teacher for 26 years and can say with certainty that all children have talents, they all do better if they work hard and they aren’t all suited to an academic career.

Thank goodness, otherwise we’d have to cut our own hair, fix our own cars, rewire our own house (after we’d built them, of course) and there’d be no shops to buy food.

I sympathise. I am also having sleepless nights. My DD has had a torrid time of school with mental and physical health problems meaning she has missed so much. She has always been academically capable but has missed so much, including her mocks, that it's unlikely she will come out with very good results. We have very few local college options and for various reasons the options there are not likely to be suitable for her needs but she is unlikely to get suitable grades to allow her to go on to study A-levels which she really wants to do. One thing I was shocked by when I was looking into it is that other than English and maths, it is virtually impossible to have another go and resit GCSEs. It seems like it's one chance only.

I rationalised to my DD that it's out of our control now and no point worrying about it but I can't seem to follow my own advice.

I can understand your anxiety. We all want our children to be happy and do well. GCSE’s can be redone, there are many other routes in to university if that’s what they want to do and there are many MANY careers that don’t require either. I have a son waiting on results too, passed all his last mocks, failed the ones before that. They are young and have plenty of time. Good luck to you all

Well if she fails GCSEs she's not clever enough to be a Dr/lawyer etc

They had dyslexic and dyspraxic friends who did well at school

Not a lot either of you can do about it now. Yes, I get you are stressed but is she? What is more worrying is you saying " I want her to do Alevels and go to university". What does she want?. A levels are a massive step up from GCSE and if you force her into that path you are setting her up to fail. The fact she bombed her gcse mockss speaks volumes. Uni isnt for everyone and for many a vocational route is better. So chill, wait for results, support HER choices. If she fails english and maths then support her to get these as a minimum.

You’re clearly Ind anger of being her worst enemy here.

she clearly is not cut out for a levels and definitely not uni!support her and let her lead the way!

and try and hide your bloody disappointment.

It seems like you had a bit of a pre thought out plan for what she would be doing that might not end up being the reality. My dad was the same with me, he assumed I would go to university and never understood why I was dead against it. I hated a classroom environment and always knew I would thrive more in paid employment. I started in my career at 19 and was in senior operations by the end of my 20s. I now manage a multitude of people, many of whom have degrees which went on to be unused. I also did later revisit education and got a masters in senior leadership but it was in my own time when I genuinely wanted to pursue it. Trust me, all won’t be lost for your daughter if she doesn’t go to university!

Agreed. Fingers crossed for 4s in English and Maths, OP.

Apprenticeships all depends what ones. The Big4 school leaver ones are good. You still need maths and English passes though.

I have 5 Highers at A and B
Two degrees. I’m 45

My 21yo DSS left school at 16 and earns more than I do.

My husband also left at 16 and runs a very successful company.

DS2 passed all his highers but didn’t get the results he really wanted. He’s applying to the RAF where all you need are Nat 5s

so there are plenty of options - maybe she’d rather go into something more practical. Try not to worry. I was so disappointed for DS2 and then when I thought about it - what does it really matter. I went to University twice and although I enjoy my teaching job it’s not setting the world alight

I pretty much failed my gcse mocks, to me they were pointless, not worth my effort (I was a slightly precocious teen), I got D's and E's.

In the actual tests I got 6 A's and 4 A*'s, because I worked hard.

A bad mock doesn't necessarily mean a bad real result

But even if it doesn't go as hoped, your role is to be there for her, pick up the pieces and help her make a plan how to move forwards.

My daughter is doing the 11+ next month. I will be proud of her whether she passes or fails, she has worked so hard. Of course I will be sad that she is sad if she doesn't pass. But I will tell her time and time again that I am so proud of her and that she will be fine and things will work out in the end.

Our children need to know that we have their back no matter what, as long as they have tried their best that's all we can ask

Secondary school teacher and A-Level teacher here... If she only passed her English GCSE in her mocks then I highly doubt she'll pass enough to go onto University but that doesn't mean she cannot get an incredible job.
A-Levels will be too difficult. I would suggest a btec courses or something called t-levels. Apprenticeships are also a viable option these days. Far better than when you would've been at school... University doesn't even guarantee a job these days so please don't make her feel like a failure of she doesn't get what YOU want her to achieve next week.
Be positive and the school will give her options.
I wish her all the best.

It comes down to what does she want to do as there can be a variety of routes to get there.

I passed half my GCSE’s as I just found it hard to keep my head in the game. I barely came out with any A-Levels because I honestly think I was doing what I thought I should be doing which didn’t motivate me much. I then went on to take a break in education and just worked & traveled a bit.

I eventually just did Open University and passed everything really easily as I was more focus on what I actually wanted to do a little later on in life. I feel much better about my career aspect as there wasn’t the same kind of pressure.

I would say, try not to be too worried for her and just try to support her decisions. She’ll get there as there are plenty of options.

But university at all costs? In my day (I'm old) I paid no tuition and had a means-tested support grant that meant I accrued no debt. I didn't have to pick up a part time job. (The people who taught me and my peers wanted us to be fully intellectually invested in our studies and not crawling into a seminar at 10 am after bartending until midnight.) It would never have occurred to me to live at home to save money because I didn't need to do so; the whole point was to get away from home, to have new experiences, make new friends, while pursuing a subject I loved. But these days the whole university experience seems to have been rendered thoroughly diminished and wickedly expensive at the same time. There is a world elsewhere, OP: open yourself up to it!

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Lucky you then in none of your children have dyslexia, dyspraxia or processing difficulties.

Hardly years away if she’s just done GCSEs, another year and she’d be applying to uni!

The OP said her daughter did work hard. Some children just aren’t particularly academic. It’s as simple as that.