Worried about GCSEs

Firstly, you don't know how DD will fair. Secondly, getting GCSEs, A levels and a degree is not a rite of passage.

Your DD needs to find a vocational training course and then an apprenticeship. Not everyone who's academic is a good employee and not everyone with no quald is a bad employee.

She should find something she will. Enjoy because it's more likely she will excel.

Motivate her, don't look down on her.

I hope she does better than you think and uses them to access an apprenticeship. She could still go to uni but doit through work so no student debt!!! 10% of grads have no job...

You’re coming across as ill informed and snobbish with dreadfully unrealistic aspirations for your poor daughter.
If she’s failing her mocks, she probably isn’t going to be a barrister or a surgeon is she?

Yes, income is important but so is learning to embrace who you are and have realistic expectations. Better a low paid job and being content and healthy than living under the pressure to be someone she isn’t, or someone she thinks you want her to be.

What were her predicted grades?

I know this makes me a contender for bitchiest comment of the week, but if she passed English, maybe she knows the difference between effecting and affecting, unlike her mother? Now, I'm actually making that point because you seem to be feeling that she's not academic "like the rest of your family", as if she's not good enough as she is, so I'm calling you out on that attitude. You're not as clever as you think and I feel sorry for your daughter if you will only value her accomplishments if they involve A levels and uni. Might she be interested in L3 Extended Diploma in Health and Social Care, for example? Or a L2 course alongside Maths/English resits? Or an apprenticeship? Or training/job?

My sibling that did an apprenticeship far out earns the sibling that went to university…. I would rather my child did something that they were interested in, capable of doing and enjoyed themselves.

Not interested in going to university, then.

Her life, her choices.

You sound dreadful OP. What about your daughter, what does she want to do? You’re sounding here like she’s a disappointment already because she’s not as academic as you. Poor girl. I hope she finds what she wants to do and what makes her happy.

Christ.
My mother forced me to go to Uni against my will. I scraped a pass and moved on with my life.
I didn't want to be a Dr or a Lawyer or a vet, which is all she obsessed over.
We have apprentices in the company I now work in, who earn well and more importantly, the networking and experience they get shoots them right up the career ladder far quicker than some of our graduate entry.
Also don't poo poo hairdressers. It's a very lucrative industry if you're good at it. You need to broden your horizons, and start thinking about your DD not yourself and your ego.
FYI. I don't speak to my mother now, nothing I ever did was good enough, no matter how hard I tried to please her. So enjoy that future if you don't change your attitude.

The only thing worse than failing all gcses is your whole family being disappointed in you.

A Levels and Uni and you don’t know the difference between effect and affect?

That aside, she must be so stressed knowing this is how you think of her. Good grief.

FYI my son’s GCSE results spelled DUDE. He lives in a beautiful house with a wonderful family in a management job where he is respected. I never put any pressure on him or any of my equally successful children.

Why do you want her to go to University. I work for a University and when my DS and DD were thinking what to do after A-Levels I advised them to only do a degree if their chosen career needed it. They both decided to get an apprenticeship instead. One has just completed his AAT level 4 as an apprentice and the company he works for is going to pay for him to do his ACCA (Assoc of chartered Accountants). The other got a business administration apprenticeship and is now studying for a paralegal qualification which her employer is paying for and her salary has just gone up to £28,000 which I think is fantastic for a 21 year old especially where we live. No student loan debts and both saving for their own homes. A lot of their friends who went to University are either struggling to get jobs or earning less.

Why dismissive? Not dismissive, just noting that what the daughter wants doesn't seem to have been factored in.

You are being unreasonable. Why push her down an academic route if she isn’t suited to it?
School is mostly “one size fits all” and there’s much more to life than academic achievement.
What does your daughter enjoy? What are her strengths?
With so many brilliant college courses and apprenticeships available I’m sure she’ll have plenty of options to do something she can thrive in.
As long as she’s doing something, happy and healthy, what have you got to worry about?

This all seems about what you want rather than what she wants. I would suggest you spend some time taking to her about what she wants to do in the future, rather than trying to force your unrealistic vision of what her future looks like onto her. Let’s be honest if she’s failing her mocks she is unlikely to be going to uni to be a lawyer is she. You’ll probably find out if she’s doing something she wants to do/enjoys she is much more likely to achieve.

You need to get over yourself. Not everyone is academic. Plenty of dd friends were high performing got good degrees 1st some at very good uni. £60k in debt unemployed or working in retail with a load of debt. There are. Plenty of admin entry level jobs or hairdressing and other apprenticeships such as decorating she could excel at and not be miserable and in debt. If she doesnt pass 1 year a level which isnt likely she be less employable than if she chooses wisely now. You need to get real amd be kinder towards her. Her best is her best

I am not bashing you when I say this. I get parental anxiety and related things their future but you have mentioned 'you' want her to do a levels, 'you' want her to go to uni 'like the rest of the family'.....what does your daughter want?

We too get results this year and I have the anxiety, not for my feelings if she doesn't get the results, but hers. She has mild dyslexia and severe dyscalculia and really wants the 4 in English. I have told her it's not game over for uni if she doesn't, the course she wants will accept functional skills. I hope you don't project onto you daughter as some kids are never going to learn listening to a teacher and hour a day. Getting rid of coursework for most courses was the worst thing they did. How many jobs do we all have where we recall info on the spot...not many and many learn by doing. Whatever her results, she will get there if she wants it, try and get some sleep

Absolutely this, what she needs is not GCSE's or A levels but parents who are proud of her snd love her whatever she achieves

I'm afraid if she failed her mocks and isn't very academic she's not cut out to be a Dr / lawyer / engineer. It sounds as though she has come to terms with this but you have not. You need to realign your expectations of her.

Maybe think less about what you want and ask her what she wants.

Maybe she’s just not academic - why would you want her to go to uni if she’s not made that way??

Well that's all you can hope for, that she did her revision and did her best. If that's the case and her results are under par, then you need to support her along a less academic route, horses for courses

If you're not academic and failed mocks then a levels are likely not for you.

My niece didn't get the grades to do a levels at her school and ended up on a course at college. She was devastated but within a week or two had made friends and she passed the course which had large on the job training and was offered a job in one of the placements.
I got two es at a levels as I had glandular fever and just was so unwell. I didn't know what I wanted to do, but ended up working my way up as a secretary before moving into marketing and sales.
A levels are not the be all and end all. Neither is university. With the way university adds debt to your life now, i don't wish this on my child. I hope he follows his heart and own wants and needs and not the expectations of others

Not being unkind but not everyone is capable of being a Dr or Lawyer don’t push her to do something that she may not be academically capable of of and set her up for failure.

Fair point. I think this is very sensible.

Plus hairdressers (or plumbers etc) are highly unlikely to be replaced by AI anytime in the near future.