Worried about GCSEs

Some of these responses are harsh and probably from people with no experience of a child struggling

Not the same but DC didn’t do as well as predicted in gcses and one of his A levels is causing a headache. I’m trying to be pragmatic. There are many paths. First step would be finding a course and resitting maths & English. There will be a way

If she's not academic, you are just setting her up to fail.

Parent the child you have, not some imaginary child you thought you would have.

I know it's easy to say BUT your job is to be there for her and how she's feeling about it. Whatever happens, it's done now, and you need to be in a position to be positive, supportive and able to help her feel proud and able to move to the next stage when the results come in. I suspect the reason she "seems ok" is she knows you're petrified and she is protecting you from it.
I know it's really worrying, and you have an image of what she should do next and now might not be able to, but she'll find her own path. I'd look at what options are available to put your mind at rest. She will likely need to redo at least maths and English, could you also look at apprenticeships or other training options alongside? BTECs etc. To be honest, even if she gets the grades it doesn't sound as if traditional academics are for her - what does she thrive doing, what does she want to do and how does she learn best - try and focus on those things and on how she's feeling about the future rather than feeling anxious/disappointed that is hasn't aligned to what you wanted for her.

What was your first job out of university OP?

What are her strengths and interests? You mentioned hairdressing, lawyer, engineer etc without some context like if she likes (and is any good at) maths or essay subjects. If she’s creative then no point pushing law (which can be studied after another degree if she changes her mind) or if she’s practical then unlikely to want to write English essays.

Just because she doesn’t take the same
A-levels and uni route as you, doesn’t mean that she can’t succeed. I think that more kids should take more time before they commit to things like a degree so that they make the right choice rather than go to uni because it’s expected.

It doesn't matter I passed one exam. Went to college later and had a professional career for 23 years

I'm in the same boat as you, ie waiting on my daughter's gcse results. I am a natural worrier and fret about everything under the sun but I'm relatively calm on this one (ask me again next week though lol). If my daughter doesn't do well enough to go to her chosen sixth form then we will just have to take it for what it is. Not everyone is cut out for A Levels and there are many other routes which can work out very well for them. The point is try not to worry, it will get you nowhere.

my friend last year her son didn't pass anything. He had SEN but was in mainstream and they had hoped for at least English and maths but bless him no. Still, they scrabbled around on results day dealing with what they thought was a disaster scenario but actually he got a spot in college and is doing his English and maths retakes there along with a course that he's loving and made loads of friends so it's all worked out really well even though it's not at all what they thought he would be doing this time last year. So try not to worry, it will be ok xxx

I have a degree and I guarantee I’m not clever enough to be a doctor or lawyer. That’s just the way it is. My hairdresser owns her own l salon and earns good money, works hard. Some people are not academic; it doesn’t make them ‘less’ than anyone else, but may affect their earning potential.

It’s about the same as I earn, despite going to university 3 times, for a BSc, PGCE and a separate 4 year Masters degree. I have a huge amount of student debt. Total waste of time and money.

So, my DD had a rough couple of years before GCSEs and didn't do great in her mocks, but did reasonably well in her finals ( 6-7s) and is killing it with her a level courses. But, there's a lot of reasons people struggle with exams and for some they may just not be academically inclined, or it's due to mental health struggles or lack of focus. Whatever her results see it as an opportunity for her to focus on what she actually enjoys.

As for money, AI is never going to replace a plumber or electrician!

Lord. You're a joy aren't you @alevelbtec🙄

Hairdressing isn't necessarily the poor money it used to be. So long as you go self employed! My best friend is a hairdresser and earns pretty well.

If my DD decides that what she wants to do i'd let her train and then give her some proper business advice. They do need to be self employed to earn decent money.

University is not the only option. This is exactly the attitude that the Prime Minister is trying to move away from. People can have successful careers without a degree.

All 3 of me and my siblings didn’t go to uni. We’ve all bought our own homes at ages 23, 24, and 25. One brother is a mortgage broker, the other is a project manager. I won’t mention mine as it’s outing if linked to my other posts. But all earning very good salaries. My youngest brother is out-earning us both, and he’s the one who failed most of his GCSEs. My older brother and I were “academic”, whereas my younger brother struggled greatly with school. But he’s flourished as an adult and has a fantastic career.

I started as an apprentice. My brothers did their qualifications on the job, too.

If she failed her mocks she won't be a doctor or a lawyer. She could be something else well paid, but both of those require memorising vast amounts of information for exams.

Plumber or electrician earn loads.
And wont be taken over by AI
Let her decidd her rpute and support her.
No need to be anxious.she has time to find her pathway .
If she motivated by £ is a good start

And what does your daughter want? Not you.... Your daughter!

If she revised and failed mocks then it seems A levels are not going to be for her, barring catastrophic teaching or undiagnosed SEN. Why are you so down on hairdressing? It’s one AI-proof job for sure !

What are her strongest subjects? What were her mock results in those subject and what are her predicted grades? Having failed in her mocks what did she do, to improve her chances in the final exams? This is important. The step between GCSE and A level is massive. It’s not just the works harder, A levels require more independent learning and self discipline. If she was unable to massively step up. A gear between mocks and GCSE’s do you honestly believe that she will be able to cope with the demands of A level study? If not don’t set her up to fail, it’s not fair. Support her to make her own decision.

Don’t try and force her into a path that isn’t right for her. Academic subjects test a narrow range of skills - which at the moment are her strong point. This might change and there are so many options for returning to education later in life.

What are the current plans for September? What entry requirements are there? Doing Alevels with an average GCSE less that 5 is very hard work and often leads to stressed out unhappy children. Ideally they should be getting 6s in the subjects they want to take forward and in some it is 7s (maths and sciences).

The other subjects are not less than, or not worthy (or writing her off!) they are structured and assessed differently, and give more options.

(There is nothing wrong with hairdressing! The world need hairdressers and even in the SE they can earn enough to live. Plus you can do fun stuff like get a job on a cruise ship and just where life takes her)

Take a look at apprenticeships in the NHS. Lots of opportunities for career paths - plenty of non-clinical roles.

University is not for everyone and a vocational route might be a much better bet.

Doing a level 3 apprenticeship doesn't stop her going to university of that is what she wants to do. Just make sure the apprenticeship leads to a recognised qualification in a subject that could lead to a degree. It's not just trades but business and office based jobs too. Will she get grade 4 in English and Maths?

When you say she failed her mocks do you mean failed as in did not pass the exams or do you mean failed as in didn’t live up to your very high standards of what you feel she should be getting?

Neither of my step kids did a levels. One joined the military at 17, has done a load of BTECs and has the option of multiple degrees via OU (all paid for) and the other did an engineering apprenticeship and now works for a Formula 1 team building engines. Both are highly paid compared to many of their friends who went to university, most of whom have struggled to get graduate jobs and have massive amounts of debt from 3-4 years at uni. They bought homes in their mid 20s and have secure, interesting jobs.

My kids are younger but I certainly won’t be pushing for them to go to uni, irrespective of academic ability, unless their chosen career makes it an absolute necessity.

My son did an engineering apprenticeship at 16 after getting GCSEs at grades A*, A, B. He has been in the higher tax bracket earning over £50k since his early 20s.