Worried about GCSEs

I’m an accountant, you can join my firm as an apprentice and if you’re good enough then within 20 years you could have a role with an average salary of £800k - not bad before you’re 40.

But honestly, it doesn’t matter what you want. On the whole, anyone without the academic ability to even pass their mock GCSEs, even without revision but after 12 years of school, and who wants to be a hair dresser is unlikely to have the drive or ability to succeed at university and then in one of the uber competitive professions you’ve mentioned. She’s likely to be more successful and make more money doing something she’s good and at enjoys - there are plenty of well paid hairdressers! Why do you think she can’t aspire to owning her own hair salon? Or that that is less achievable than her being a well paid architect?

Sorry OP, I think you may be living in cuckoo land. Sometimes you start low and work upwards. It’s called career progression. Even graduates with a 1st in their field, have to start somewhere!

Your daughter isn’t academically able enough for those though by the sounds of things. Not everyone can be. You are being extremely unreasonable

Absolutely
My builder earns more than I do . I have a degree and two masters
If I had my time again I would probably have done something different

My husband did an apprenticeship rather than attend university, he’s an actuary.

This isn’t your future college course or job, so it doesn’t really matter what you want, the only important things are what your daughter wants and whether she can realistically achieve them.

Are you joking?? Why is hair dressing a low wage job? I mean yes, if she’s going to spend her working life making tea and sweeping hair. But eventually, if she’s good, she may own her own salon in years to come!

Social mobility? Means she doesn’t have to stay in the SE.

There are other places to live?

You can have plenty of experiences and meet lots of people for a lot less than 40 thousand pounds of debt 😁

Op , have you asked your dd what she actually wants to do ?
Does she actually want to go to university ?
You are making this all about you

I agree with this opinion.
Why waste money and time on university education? Your DD will leave with a huge debt round her neck and not much to show for it. This happened to DD’s friend. She scraped a 3rd and is now looking at night shifts in a supermarket.

Apprenticeships are the way forward, for those who are less academic. Earn while you learn!

Remember as well, they get 3 years funded at college. So you can have a year improving her L2 grades, then do a L3 course next year.

Don't write them off just yet. My child was getting 3s at the end of year 10. They worked their socks off and ended up getting 8s, 7s and 6s. Could have gone to do a levels but decided they had enough of classroom learning and went for a vocational role. Absolutely smashing it and comes home every day having the best time. Having a job you love is the best thing you can have.

I am the only one in my close fried group that went to uni and I'm one of the lowest earners.

I know you have this idea in your head where your child is headed but ultimately they need to make their own decisions about the path they want to take. Our role as parents is to support and guide not dictate.

You’re being ridiculous. Not everyone is suitable for uni. The sixth form in my town won’t let you do ann A level in a subject unless you get an 6 at GCSE. Accept that and start supporting her to find what she does want to do.

You need to let your daughter do what makes her happy. If she wants to do hairdressing, id encourage that pathway. Everyone will always need their hair cut & styled and she can carry those skills with her throughout her life.
My eldest daughter was on a very low wage when she first left college, worked 6 days a week, saved hard & gained experience. That was 8 years ago. She now owns her own house and we too live in the SE!

Are you joking? A self employed gas or heating engineer can make more money than a GP 🤣 Stop being a snob and pushing your own dreams onto her

I'm a retired secondary headteacher. I've said more than once that if I were still in the job, I'd be doing a lot of work encouraging students to consider routes other than university - because the latter costs a lot of money and is increasingly not worth it.

OP your views and approach seem very rigid, and, kindly, outdated. You say she wants to get out and earn money, that's good, she has drive and ambition. She (and possibly you) need a steer on what the best options for her to find a way to do this are, as the traditional (safe) routes you have identified are probably not for her. You could both listen to Emma Grede on Desert Island Discs two weeks ago, for an inspirational example of passion, graft, determination and success. She can do a degree at any time, when she's more likely to be ready to succeed at it. You are the one who needs to be flexible in your approach to give her the support she needs to succeed.

My son takes his GCSES next year. He's average (definitely not stupid but not a genius either), and we're currently paying for extra tuition in Maths and English. He's not academically gifted, so he's going to need to revise to pass his exams. All we've asked for is for him to revise and do his absolute best.

Why do you want your daughter to do A Levels and go to University? Just because it's been the right choice for you or members of your family, it doesn't make it so for your daughter! What does your daughter want to do?

If your daughter is struggling with GCSES, then she's not going to cope with A Levels or university. You have unrealistic expectations for her. One of the reasons why your daughter is struggling could be the pressure of you wanting her to conform, to your standards.

See if there's a college course that she would be more interested in. Often they can resit Maths/English along side of the course (if it comes to it). May be she'd prefer to find a job instead of further education? Although in the current job market that may be difficult.

You are putting too much emphasis on what you want for her rather than what she wants. Have you not heard how many uni graduates can’t find jobs? If she’s failed all her exams she’s unlikely to cope with the academic levels required for the careers you listed. If she wants to be a hairdresser it could be a good choice. Many soon set up independent businesses and make good money. Be realistic!

If she failed or barely scraped her GCSEs, she is very unlikely to have the sort of mind needed to train as a doctor, lawyer or engineer. Or an architect, although the pay is also atrocious in that industry. That doesn’t mean she’s stupid or won’t earn well, it just means she isn’t cut out for another ten years of academic study.

Focus on finding out what she is good at and is interested in, and how she could make money doing that. I have a masters and a job which requires it, I can confidently say my tradesmen earn more than I do. I bet my local hair salon owner does too. Education doesn’t equal earning potential, what matters is being good at something people are willing to pay for.

The responses are nothing to do with a child who may or may not be struggling. They are in response to a parent who is trying to control which path their child takes and seemingly not listening to what they actually want.

£2000 a month for an 18 or 19 year old starting at the bottom level of a job is pretty good.

Why did she fail her mocks and what do her teachers say?
If it is lack of ability, can you consult the careers service about what is a good path for her level of ability - factory apprenticeship with a larger company perhaps? She could then work her way up.

If it is lack of application you need to understand why, if appropriate read the riot act, explain the importance of education in giving you choices, withdraw devices or whatever will get her to study. Failing that she gets a minimum wage job and hopefully soon realises that life would be better if she studied more.

You need to get out of the mindset f what you want, and figure out what will be best for her.

You need to stop forcing her to do what you want her to do. Just because you and other family members went to uni she doesn’t have to follow the same path. You need to let her do what she wants to, end of the day it’s her life not yours. We all want the best for our children but she will grow up to resent you if you don’t let her find her own path. If she wants a career in hair and beauty, find a way to support her. She can still go far and be successful.