Worried about GCSEs

Clever enough to have gone to uni. Not clever enough to realise there are other options.

Well hopefully you are right because as you say, the responses are very flippant and ill considered.

Just hopping on to say (as an aside) that architecture is not well paid (and with 5 years of university study anyone doing it would end up with a massive debt at the end of it..). When I qualified as an architect (many years ago), and got my first job as a qualified architect, I was paid the same as the receptionist… it is not a ‘protected’ role - in that anyone can set themselves up as an ‘architectural designer’ with zero qualifications… so big fees / salaries are just not there. (Unless you make it to partner level). And the sector tends to be hit first and hardest, in any economic downturn - so every 5-7 years there will be massive lay-offs in architectural practices (eg I worked at one firm where they would swell to 270+ employees during good times, then contract to 70 employees (typically on a 5-7 year cycle). They is no way I would be encouraging a young person to study architecture now…

Its strange how different people think. My two boys are fairly academic and Im sure they both have the potential to go to uni if they wanted. However, I would actively encourage them not to go that route UNLESS they were persuing a career that really requires a degree such as a doctor. There are so many different ways to get there now. Why go to uni and end up in a tonne of debt if you can end up in the same place eventually going the apprenticeship route, earning whilst you are learning? I went the Uni route and am now in a job earning the same as others who went other routes but I have the debt, they don't (thankfully 15k not 60k+ like now)
My eldest has just done his A levels but has decided he doesn't want to go to uni (at least not yet). He's not really sure what he wants to do anymore, as he no longer thinks it worth doing anything with computers because of AI, so I have actually encouraged him just to go fulltime where he was already working for a couple of years, then go travelling for a couple of years, whilst he tries to figure things out. These kids are likely to be working until at least 70, in my eyes there really is no rush for them to have it all figured out at 16 or 18. I would rather him take the time to figure out what he actually wants to do than force him to decide now and him end up in a career/job he absolutely hates.

You really need to step back and let your daughter make her own choices (yes offer advice but the final decision does need to be hers). Its her life and her happiness.

I’m a legal secretary with a degree and I only get £1850 a month. I can afford my own house albeit just. It’s not low at all, not for the north where I am. Of course I’d like more money but you need to really think about what she wants not what you want.

this is why kids have issues when they grow up because no matter what they do, mother is always disappointed. Give her some slack, poor girl.

The professions you mentioned, doctor, lawyer, architect are often not that well paid at first and I'm not sure I would want to go in to any of them purely in the interest of making money.

There are plenty of graduates up and down the UK who don't make over 2K a month for ages, it's not a guarantee.

If you have the drive and business sense as a hairdresser I don't see why you couldn't be a salon owner or do really interesting work.

While I appreciate that cost of living is a worry, money isn't always the measure of success.
What does your DD really want to do?

I also don't think it's a bad thing for people to enter university for the first time in their 20s or later once they have the drive and the work ethic for the course.

Reading back I doubt think this is genuine. No one who has been up all night worrying about their DDs exam results would be so ridiculous and flippant with their answers

What degree and career did you do OP?
Have you paid off your student loans yet?

At least hairdressing has skills that aren’t going to be taken over by AI. Most law firms will end up downsizing in the near future as a lot of the grunt work will be done by much lower paid and minimally qualified staff.

I think you need to pause with thinking about uni. Take a breath and see what next week's results bring.
Have a plan for good results that allow her to do A levels (if she wants to) have a plan for a BTEC or other similar type course (you still can get to uni but more course work than exams).

If she's not applied for an apprenticeship already she will have to stay at college, whatever that looks like.

What does your DD want to do? What is she interested in?

It's ok you wanting her to go to uni and be a lawyer but if she doesn't she won't get there or go.

I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family but I don't think she will be able to.
Please don't insist on her doing her A-Levels, a degree and getting a "proper job" just because that is what you and the rest of the family expects. I wasted years of my life doing that, and it all backfired when I had a nervous breakdown. I still feel like the family failure, and resent having wasted all that time, when what I wanted to do was seen as being "a waste of time". Post-breakdown, I went and did that course as an adult learner. I am now happier and much more successful... and low-contact with my family (who I moved away from).

A-Levels and a degree aren't everything. Disclaimer: I work for a vocational college. Some of our students, who were not academically able, turn out to be very practical people... whose confidence has been damaged by an environment (at home and at school) that told them that, due to their poor academics, they were not good enough. They might have difficulties in the classroom, but shine when given a bit of responsibility and a practical task to do. It's nice to see them grow in confidence and their abilities at college, and I feel very proud of them when they have done a job that they didn't think that they could do, or when they find employment, or decide to jet off to try out working abroad at 18.

Please let your DD do what she wants. If she changes her mind later on, she can do other qualifications and careers when she is older. Don't make her feel a failure because she struggles with her exams.

The academic route isn't for everyone. One of the most successful people I know, started with a btec in business studies and a weekend job at an estate agents

please help me understand. it's august and this series of exams gets written in may-june (based on google). mocks to me are just what the word implies fake pre tests that are not worth anything (although if a person really tried might show area's of weakness).
school let out weeks ago and the op is worried about this now?
my first question would be has there been a mistake? unknown format?
surely if the child was so academically slow as to "fail" the entire series of pre tests you would know this before the age of 14.

You are really badly informed OP. University is looking less advisable these days unless you are looking at a specific career such as a GP or vet.

We have 18 year old engineering apprentices in my industry who are starting on £30k and can earn 6 figures when they're qualified.

As for trades...my plumber friend takes home three times more than my so called corporate job!

You want her to do a levels but is that what she wants to do?? does she want to go to Uni?

As you've witnessed school doesnt guarantee success, it's all about remembering facts and churning them back out... Great for those kids that it comes easy to but not so much for those who don't.. Do you know why she's found things so difficult?

Chances are that if she's failed her mocks, unless something dramatic has happened her results won't be fabulous.

It's not the end of the world. See what happens when results day comes and see what's, what

Remember that,you're not restricted to any time lines. There's retakes, vocational courses etc. check out what your local college has on offer and see what your daughter wants to do.

You have no choice but to make peace with it. Whatever happens she will need your support in finding a way forward..a levels and uni may still be achievable in the future if that's what she wants , it may just take her longer to get there.

With respect if she doea badly on her gcses she likely wont have what it takes to enter any of those professions.

Never mind what you want. What does she want?

Does she want to go to Uni - what has she expressed an interest in studying?

Although ‘struggling’ is subjective. At the grammar school my dds go to, children were in tears if they got a 7, whereas at the comp down the road, there were posts of ‘Betty smashed it’ if they got a 6.

OP: It doesn't sound like you have taken any active part in her education up until now, if you've only recently realised that she's not A level material. You can't just assign your kids a role (AKA Gina Yashere mum: "You be the doctor"), and blithely send them off to school, with no further parental input.

What college places has she applied for? What grades does she need? What's available in your local area?

Take a look with her college courses in the local area that have more realistic entry requirements and help her find something that interests her.

Your attitude stinks OP, sorry. As others have said, support your child with the pathway she wishes to enter. Not what YOU want her to do.

This thread has made me feel quite cross actually.

Do you realise you can become a fully qualified solicitor after a six year apprenticeship ! You have to do a levels but I don’t think you are up to date on modern day apprentice opportunities and are probably pushing her in the wrong direction. Unless she has mad a massive u turn in her GCSE’s very unlikely she’ll be able to do a levels . Surely the fact she was struggling was apparent before mocks ?

Wow. Your attitude to awful op. Truly. Your poor dd must feel like a failure.

children who fail their mocks don’t become lawyers. That’s for the kids who get 7s+ with zero effort.

your dd tried her best.

parent the child you have.

she isn’t academic. That’s fine. Help her explore what is achievable.

your own ego could potentially ruin your relationship with your dd.

I'm not sure this isn't a trolling post?

There are legal apprenticeships which can lead to qualification as a solicitor so you do need to look at modern apprenticeships rather than just browsing.

My friend's kids all did apprenticeships, now 20's and early 30's and own their own homes in a pricy part of the country. I don't know any poor trades (who are good at their jobs).

A relative of mine was pulled out of grammar school by their very sensible (and also non academic parent) as it was making them unwell, they later got an apprenticeship and now out earn their very academic uni attending sibling.

As others have said, your views are very fixed and would seem to be unhelpful for your poor daughter.

Op, if she ‘fails’ her GCSE’s your best bet is to not add to her stress by showing your disappointment . You will need to be her parent and look at what she can do .
If she loves hairdressing encourage her to do this
I think it is so wrong to force people into careers that they are not interested in

You want her to go to college and uni, but what does she want?