Worried about GCSEs

Uni is years away and there are alternatives. But why not actually study and do well at GCSE?

We all want this for our kids. Uni isn’t the only route, that’s what people are saying. Not going to uni doesn’t automatically equate to minimum wage.

A young man in my family started an apprenticeship at 16 and at 19 is already earning considerably more than minimum wage, with potential for much more.

What people? A few mates and boyfriends? She will meet the same in college or on the job

I want my DC to be well educated. I want them to have opportunities and things to be able to do. I want doors to be opened to them. I want them to earn well, be able to have their own family, go on holiday, have a home one day. Don't want them to be stuck earning low/minimum wage.

I see this and the Indian parent in me jumps out. We since very young have drilled the importance of education and studying well. We don't just shrug someone off as "not academic" we actively work with our children to achieve top grades. Coming from India itself, education is seen as the way to a brighter future.

Anecdotes are anecdotes. All the data clearly shows a positive relationship between education and earnings. Even a singular GCSE is shown to increase incomes. A university degree and education opens so many doors. And all the data shows on average graduates out earn those without degrees.

I wouldn't be impressed with my DC if they failed almost everything (not even scraping 4s). I'd definitely want a pass in maths and English. Maths is a essential skill to know.

Degree apprenticeships are awesome.. my DC is doing one at a major bank soon and they'll be earning £30k+ at 18. Once the 4 years finish and the grad role starts they'll be earning nearish £100k. All this needed good GCSEs and good A-levels

So what did university teach you? How to be adaptable? How to think critically? How to find out things you don't know? How to be open minded? How to challenge your viewpoints? How to review facts and not feelings?

Apply those skills to this situation.

This just isn't even remotely accurate, at least for engineering.
For millennia engineers have done apprenticeships.
Many large engineering companies such as airbus, BAE Systems, Rolls Royce, most of the water, chemical, pharmaceutical and energy companies do degree apprenticeships.
Don't let your own ignorance, snobbery and stereotypes influence your daughters future.

I never said I am pushing her, I would like her to go to Uni.
Not pushing her! You are having sleepless nights in case she does not live up to your expectations! Do you seriously think she is not picking up on this!?

What does SHE want to do?

I want her to do A Levels and go on to University like most of my family ...

Well it's not about what you want.

Poor girl will be made to feel a failure not because she is, but because you will have made her feel this.

She needs to find her own niche and plough her own furrow. Just get off her back!

What does she want to do as a career?

Not necessarily.
Many health courses are on apprenticeships, get paid 25 - 30k a year whilst studying and 40k plus on completion, with potential for up to 60k a few years later.

Agree!

Do you think she hasn’t picked up on your views? Do you recognise any of the comments on the thread as useful?

None of mine did A levels or went to uni but all my adult children now have careers by going down different routes. There are lots of other college courses that your child might find interesting and if they aren’t sure yet what they want to do there is always the option for uni/open uni when they are older.

You need to educate yourself on what options there are available for our young post 16 people today. Apprenticeships are an excellent option for the less academic ( as an example) This is YOUR DD, not a member of your other family.

When you say “ failed “ mocks. Do you mean less than a 4? Or a 9? If she “ failed “ her mocks, why are you panicking that DD won’t be going to university? Sit with her and explore what she CAN do. Honestly, the opportunities are plentiful in this country.

This must be a windup.

To me OP it seems really strange that you seem so invested in her schooling/uni/job now but it doesn't seem like you helped her with revision at the time, ensured she followed a revision timetable, got the relevant CPG books for her, got tutors for the main subjects (if possible financially) or did anything else prior to the exams when you knew she had failed her mocks. You just seem to have gone along with her saying she revised and did her best.

You seem desperate for her to go to uni and make loads of money but you don't seem to have supported her to enable that to happen. Of course some kids don't need that support to do well, but when she failed her mocks it surely was obvious that she did?

Has she done any work experience/work shadowing at a hairdressers if she is interested in that route? She really needs to spend some time sweeping floors or something to at least get a feel for it. If she is going to try to get an apprenticeship she will need to be competitive and have some experience and be able to show her interest. She also needs to look at college courses for September - it's all been left very late though, Why has none of this been more thought through before? What is she supposed to be doing in September? It's literally weeks away. Have school not supported her with next steps either?

I really think your dd needs a lot more support right now OP, and i don't mean in being pushed into something she doesn't want to do.

Unless failing her mocks was unexpected for some reason, surely you’ve realised before now that’s she’s not exactly a straight A sort of student?? Not passing any subject must be close to having additional learning needs.

My brother didn't go to uni, he's a plumber, works only on specialist projects now in London, earns a fortune. Was earning in excess of 50k by 25 and that was 15 years ago. You are very short sighted and frankly if she fails all of her GCSEs she's not cut out for law or engineering

As a teacher I really believe that you need to reframe how you are thinking. YOU want her to do A levels, YOU want her to go to university. You seem desperate for her to be a lawyer, GP etc - what are her predicted grades? Was she predicted to get 7+ in most subjects? I am trying to understand if she underperformed in her mocks or whether she achieved what she was targeted at?

what do you class as a fail?

There are lots of routes post results day, the school will be able to sign post that for you on the day, or speak to local colleges.

How did she revise? Is it a problem of not knowing how to revise properly?

But please actually listen to her, if you force her down a path she isn’t really able to access she is just going to resent you. If you force her down a path that she doesn’t enjoy she is also going to resent you.

You need to be realistic. If she is going to fail all her GCSEs she's not going to go to uni and be a "high earner" without a fair bit of work in the interim.

You need to consider why she wants to be hairdresser or something rather than go to uni. It's her life.

Please don’t push your dd into something you want for her, she needs to find her own path in life.

I come from a family of non-academics, all have practical intelligence. My father is a plumber and we grew up without wanting for anything and still my parents are more financially comfortable than any of my friend’s parents. My best friend’s father is a builder and a millionaire. My two nephews are builders, they are both in their 30’s and earn around £80-90k pa.

My two best friends are both hairdressers and earn very well and more importantly they love their jobs.

In fact, of all the people I know I would say those who do not hold university degrees are the ones thriving the most.

Maybe try looking outside of the box a little, your daughter can do very well in life without going to university.

That’s something for you to work on though without pressuring her down an unsuitable route where she won’t be happy.

It is her future not yours.