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Original poster

I hate being called lovely

179 replies

amapoftheisland · 10/08/2026 13:01

I don’t mean ‘oh, yes, you know Jane, works i finance, really helpful, lovely woman.’ That’s fine.

I mean being called lovely just that, ‘oh sorry lovely I didn’t realise you messaged’

it’s so insincere

OP posts:
LittleMi55Nobody · 10/08/2026 16:34

saltrock123 · 10/08/2026 13:20

Got called ‘sweetie’ last week in a shop.The guy was young enough to be my grandson !

i call everyone sweetie or my lovely...jeez you and op have issues

Happyholidays78 · 10/08/2026 16:31

I love it & it's used a lot here (South West) but I really dislike 'hun' but not enough to do anything about it, I take these words as they are meant, as a term of endearment.

HoppityBun · 10/08/2026 16:26

TheyGrewUp · 10/08/2026 13:28

It depends on context.

A person in my bank a few weeks ago kept calling me "dear". I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have if I was 20/30/40.

A GP at my practice has called me dear in the past. She balked when I called her luvvy back and iterated that her name is Dr Condescent.

If I'm in Leek or Leeds, I've no problem with Duck or Love. If I buy something from the market in my local town, "darlin, luv, gel" all fine.

A GP at my practice has called me dear in the past. She balked when I called her luvvy back and iterated that her name is Dr Condescent.

I have had this. A young dentist addressed me by my first name and said hi, I’m Dr Y. If I remember, next time it happens, I’m going to say “if you’re Dr Y, then I’m Ms HoppityBun”.

HoppityBun · 10/08/2026 16:22

Boomer55 · 10/08/2026 16:18

Just the way some people talk. Harmless.

Of course it’s harmless and of course it’s just the way some people talk.

Ducky or love, would be fine but lovely seems toe curling and odd, because it’s an adjective. Sometimes it seems as though I’ve had my name changed to Lovely.

i don’t like it but it would be out of place to complain!

timtamsarebetterthanpenguins · 10/08/2026 16:21

It doesn't remotely bother me in person but I HATE it via text or on screens. I think because you can't hear the tone so it always reads as patronising.

Boomer55 · 10/08/2026 16:18

Just the way some people talk. Harmless.

AndImVictoriaMalcolm · 10/08/2026 16:16

I use it at work (customer facing role) but not really anywhere else. It’s not meant in a patronising way it’s meant to be friendly.

Twoshoesnewshoes · 10/08/2026 16:10

Awww I like it.
im in Devon and it took a while to get used to ‘my lover’ ‘lovely’ and ‘my darlin’ from everyone.
its very warm and friendly.

mondaytosunday · 10/08/2026 16:07

Lovey, darling, sweetie, hun (that one I particularly hate)… annoying yes. Not enough to moan about though.

Topseyt123 · 10/08/2026 16:07

Monty36 · 10/08/2026 15:29

The one I hate seeing - never say it myself, is ‘hun’.

I can't stand hun either.

WestwardHo1 · 10/08/2026 16:04

OneDreamyAquaEagle · 10/08/2026 16:00

Splann, my lover. We're clearly far too friendly down here...

Show quote history

And "pard"!

WestwardHo1 · 10/08/2026 16:04

ElenOfTheWays · 10/08/2026 14:31

I moved to my current area about 10 years ago and was baffled to learn that the local term of endearment around here is "Sug" (pronounced shug) presumably short for sugar - I've never asked.

I was a bit surprised when I moved to Derbyshire in 2008 to be called "Duck" and I still think it sounds silly, but "Sug" takes the cake.

I've never heard anyone called "Lovely" only "Love" which was common where I grew up.

See, I love "duck" or "me duck". It reminds me of my Midlands aunties and uncles. It sounds very natural and friendly.

OneDreamyAquaEagle · 10/08/2026 16:00

TonTonMacoute · 10/08/2026 15:38

Don't go to Cornwall then my lovely! Said all the time there, I often heard 'hello luver' too when used to parents

Also ‘Maid’ and ’me ‘ansom’ for men, although they seem to be dying out

Splann, my lover. We're clearly far too friendly down here...

PrincessOfPreschool · 10/08/2026 15:54

My friend objects to people saying 'Morning' on an email or WhatsApp, rather than Good Morning. She feels it's impolite verging on rude. I think: Get a life!

TonTonMacoute · 10/08/2026 15:38

Don't go to Cornwall then my lovely! Said all the time there, I often heard 'hello luver' too when used to parents

Also ‘Maid’ and ’me ‘ansom’ for men, although they seem to be dying out

Happyjoe · 10/08/2026 15:31

DrBlackbird · 10/08/2026 15:11

I feel the same way. I endure it from my hairstylists where everyone says ‘lovely’ every second damn word. Hello my lovely, there you go my lovely, toilet is down the hall my lovely. There is no need to say it at all. It’s patronising but in a mindless sort of way so of course I’d never say anything.

However, being called ‘hun’ absolutely grates on my nerves from a particular family member. It’s definitely used passively aggressively/ patronising/ insulting manner from them (you okay hun) but there’s nothing to be gained from confrontation.

But I absolutely get where you’re going from, first world problem or not.

Edited to add that I wouldn’t mind duck or love and when I lived in Somerset I didn’t mind bus drivers calling me ‘me luver’! But ‘lovely’ and ‘hun’ really grate.

Edited
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Don't go to Cornwall then my lovely! Said all the time there, I often heard 'hello luver' too when used to parents.

Duck I heard much more living in Yorkshire and when dated someone from Cumbria. Not so much down south.

Monty36 · 10/08/2026 15:29

The one I hate seeing - never say it myself, is ‘hun’.

Happyjoe · 10/08/2026 15:28

SandwichSuperstar · 10/08/2026 13:09

I don't mind it in real life but I hate it on Mumsnet.

The other day there was a thread that was full of "Oh my love", "Listen to me sweetheart" and a "Hunny" thrown in for good measure.

I can't imagine why these people can't see how fake and patronising they sound.

Not to everyone. Most folk can take it in context. Such as say someone's been let down yet again by their useless fella, to read 'Oh hunny, what a prize twit he is' doesn't at all sound patronising to me.

Perhaps am more of a half full kinda girl though.

DrBlackbird · 10/08/2026 15:11

amapoftheisland · 10/08/2026 13:24

Yes it’s very simpering from some people. Hun and lovely both make me cringe a bit.

Show quote history

I feel the same way. I endure it from my hairstylists where everyone says ‘lovely’ every second damn word. Hello my lovely, there you go my lovely, toilet is down the hall my lovely. There is no need to say it at all. It’s patronising but in a mindless sort of way so of course I’d never say anything.

However, being called ‘hun’ absolutely grates on my nerves from a particular family member. It’s definitely used passively aggressively/ patronising/ insulting manner from them (you okay hun) but there’s nothing to be gained from confrontation.

But I absolutely get where you’re going from, first world problem or not.

Edited to add that I wouldn’t mind duck or love and when I lived in Somerset I didn’t mind bus drivers calling me ‘me luver’! But ‘lovely’ and ‘hun’ really grate.

C4tintherug · 10/08/2026 15:09

I absolutely HATE it especially (as I always tell people)- I’m not lovely, I’m a complete bitch so don’t call me lovely when you know nothing about me!!!
urgh- really gets on my tits!!
I don’t mind duck, sweetie etc so much- I think it’s because “lovely” is a descriptor and because it is often used without knowing the person it is insincere. Whereas something like duck is fine as obviously I’m not a duck, it’s just being used as a pet name.

ainsisoisje · 10/08/2026 15:02

I also don't like being called lovely as there's defo an air of minimising your abilities or somehow subtly putting you down. Not from everyone, just some people use it strategically to make you feel less than.

Saltysweetspicy · 10/08/2026 14:59

YANBU. I belong to a group on FB and ALL the admins call EVERYONE lovely. So annoying, and like you say insincere. It just makes me cringe. How do you know I'm lovely? (I'm not!)

CaptainMyCaptain · 10/08/2026 14:58

Thistooshallpsss · 10/08/2026 13:05

These terms tend to be regional but honestly isn’t it better to get het up about real problems

Lots of people say it here along with 'duck' and 'love'. I don't say it myself as I didn't grow up here and it's not my manner of speech but I don't have a problem with it.

studiopolish324r · 10/08/2026 14:55

I heard this when I was in hospital, in a very vulnerable state. It warmed my heart.
But I guess it's one of those "and I have a bargain just for you" terms 😂

Myblueclematis · 10/08/2026 14:51

The only word that I really do not like is someone calling me hun.