Page 3 | I hate being called lovely

CaptainMyCaptain · 10/08/2026 20:07

Gresley · 10/08/2026 19:50

I hate being called 'lovely' or 'sweetheart'. I'm a fully-grown adult, not a child and though I'm in my seventies it doesn't mean I'm in my second childhood. Why do people assume that old people want to be patronised and talked to as if they're children?

I'm also in my 70s and haven't noted any increase in this kind of thing as I've become older. It's just the way people interact round here. When I was in Bristol in the 1970s I was called 'my lover' by random people, in London it was 'love'. It has always been like this.

CrushingOnRubies · 10/08/2026 20:06

Come live in Cornwall where people call you “me Lover” as someone said up thread it’s a regional thing I think

PrettyLittleRose · 10/08/2026 20:03

I don't mind people calling me 'lovely' at all. Up to you @amapoftheisland if you want to hate it and get angry with people who disagree with you.

Personally I think you need a

letsmakethisxmasnice2026 · 10/08/2026 19:57

After a rant to a good friend about being called darling etc She now calls me sugar tit's lol 😆 ( We have that type of friendship and I fake being outraged etc) So be careful who you rant to !

Goldengirl123 · 10/08/2026 19:51

I absolutely hate it

Gresley · 10/08/2026 19:50

I hate being called 'lovely' or 'sweetheart'. I'm a fully-grown adult, not a child and though I'm in my seventies it doesn't mean I'm in my second childhood. Why do people assume that old people want to be patronised and talked to as if they're children?

Roseonthebalcony · 10/08/2026 19:49

Delftthunderclap · 10/08/2026 19:47

I absolutely cannot stand it and have to try really hard not to say 'PLEASE could you not call me that?' It's mostly in a professional or customer service context (hairdresser, nurse, shop worker...) and it's patronising as all hell. How do they know if I'm lovely? Why do I need a term of endearment from someone I don't know? I'm not looking for formality, just don't call me anything, there's no need! It's absolutely insincere because they don't know the first thing about me. Let's just be businesslike and get whatever the transaction is done, politely and appropriately.
Grrrr.

It’s not that deep.

Delftthunderclap · 10/08/2026 19:47

I absolutely cannot stand it and have to try really hard not to say 'PLEASE could you not call me that?' It's mostly in a professional or customer service context (hairdresser, nurse, shop worker...) and it's patronising as all hell. How do they know if I'm lovely? Why do I need a term of endearment from someone I don't know? I'm not looking for formality, just don't call me anything, there's no need! It's absolutely insincere because they don't know the first thing about me. Let's just be businesslike and get whatever the transaction is done, politely and appropriately.
Grrrr.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 10/08/2026 19:45

Fit like ma quine/loon..nope.

Tiredhotmess · 10/08/2026 19:42

I don't like it from strangers - it comes across as very patronising - but from people i know I see it as a term of endearment and have no problem with it.

Roseonthebalcony · 10/08/2026 19:17

Gangof7 · 10/08/2026 17:09

I was in Dunelm yesterday and in the space of about 30 seconds at the till I was called darling, sweetheart, pet and love!
I’m about as far north as you can go and it makes me cringe 😬

Sounds like a fab worker, some retail workers don’t even give eye contact or say hi!!!

Roseonthebalcony · 10/08/2026 19:17

I love it, I love all the pet names even when men use them, like hi love, they remind me of a time when people were nicer and less uptight.

I don’t even use them on other people I just like it when it’s used on me 🤣

The only one that makes me feel icky is HUN.

pigmygoatsinjumpers · 10/08/2026 19:10

Cholm · 10/08/2026 17:35

I lived in Northampton, most friends were either town or Rothersthorpe or Towcester way.

I grew up in a small village 7 miles from Northampton and about 9 miles from Towcester. Went to school in Daventry and then to art school in Northampton (though the School of Art building attached to the old technical college and opposite the "Racecourse" no longer exists). Used to drink at The White Elephant at lunchtime.

tsmainsqueeze · 10/08/2026 18:59

Topseyt123 · 10/08/2026 13:12

Maybe you need some real issues to get het up over.

It's a term of endearment and in many regions a normal way to address people. Don't ever go up north. Normal there. Or to the Midlands where I grew up. Normal there too.

Also not unknown here in Essex, where I have lived for the last 30 years.

It's a relatively new term of endearment compared to the usual ones and i think it only came about when pc types started moaning about being called love,darlin etc so this silly term started.
I don't give a stuff about any of the 'usuals' at all , in fact i like hearing them especially the ones in different regions.
But 'lovely' makes me cringe ,it's patronising and fake and to me never sounds anything but that.
The management in my workplace asked the receptionists not to use it and we are all the better for it.

Cholm · 10/08/2026 17:35

I lived in Northampton, most friends were either town or Rothersthorpe or Towcester way.

Gangof7 · 10/08/2026 17:09

I was in Dunelm yesterday and in the space of about 30 seconds at the till I was called darling, sweetheart, pet and love!
I’m about as far north as you can go and it makes me cringe 😬

StarlightLady · 10/08/2026 17:09

It’s just a term that people use and varies from area to area. I work with someone who calls everyone “gorgeous”. I’m not bothered unless somebody calls me shitface.

pigmygoatsinjumpers · 10/08/2026 17:07

Cholm · 10/08/2026 13:43

Don’t actually mind duck, it’s almost akin to your name round here.
Is that Northampton "me Duck"'?

When I knew some Scotsmen quite well ‘wee cunt’ was almost a term of endearment 😂
It's amazing to me as a Midlander just how menacing "Pal" can sound from a Glaswegian.

I grew up in Northamptonshire in the mid 50s and 60s. "Duck", "ducky", "my duck" and "me duck" were all commonly used. My late mother often called me "Ducky" and I miss that. Where I live now people used to use "my plum" but I've not heard that for years.

FFSItsTooHot · 10/08/2026 17:06

One of my (female ) friends frequently calls me 'babe'. I think nothing of it! What I DO hate is when shop assistants call me 'madam'. It makes me feel like a maiden aunt!

dizzydizzydizzy · 10/08/2026 17:01

WhatsUpWithGene · 10/08/2026 13:22

I hate it from some people but don’t mind it from others, I think it’s the tone used.

I’ve a friend who says it like it’s a natural term of endearment and another who says it in a simpering way that just comes across as so false.

I find it most annoying when people use “hun” and “hunni” (in person and online) but I’m so narky these days that it doesn’t take much to irritate me!

This. Absolutely detest ‘hun’ because it nearly always sounds patronising. I’m mostly ok with ‘lovely’.

Flamingojune · 10/08/2026 16:44

MsRubee · 10/08/2026 16:44

I’d go on holiday there just to be called “my lover” in the correct accent. So beautifully weird and wonderful.

Show quote history

Mylover is not age related

Flamingojune · 10/08/2026 16:44

If its used because they see an older woman then i agree its horrible

MsRubee · 10/08/2026 16:44

Twoshoesnewshoes · 10/08/2026 16:10

Awww I like it.
im in Devon and it took a while to get used to ‘my lover’ ‘lovely’ and ‘my darlin’ from everyone.
its very warm and friendly.

I’d go on holiday there just to be called “my lover” in the correct accent. So beautifully weird and wonderful.

Morelovelyandtemperate · 10/08/2026 16:41

EgregiouslyOverdressed · 10/08/2026 13:12

Do you hate all terms of endearment or just this one?

It's just that one.
"Lovely" 🤢
Daalin, in London, ducky or my lover in Bristol. All those are fine. It's "lovely" and, like a PP, the "oh my love" sincerity on MN makes me heave.

Jc2001 · 10/08/2026 16:40

amapoftheisland · 10/08/2026 13:01

I don’t mean ‘oh, yes, you know Jane, works i finance, really helpful, lovely woman.’ That’s fine.

I mean being called lovely just that, ‘oh sorry lovely I didn’t realise you messaged’

it’s so insincere

You want to stay clear of the West Country then, everyone seems to use it there. I find it quite endearing.