Stepchild wants to see finances and money spent on his stepsiblings.

So do they have to wait for all the siblings to die? Or does a quarter get dissolved when each sibling passes?

True, sounds like they don't along very well to start with.

If my own 18 year old son made a request like that, I’d laugh in his face (or something less polite!).

However I am curious as to what you think the underlying reason for his request is. Could he have the impression that your children get treated more favourably than he does? Do they get more holidays, live a more lavish lifestyle? Rightly or wrongly, something is breeding resentment here I think?

How old are your children, OP? How long have you been together? Do you have any joint children?

The absolute definition of a person who needs knocking down a few pegs.

That’s how I’m reading it too…

Has there been any large purchases benefitting your children that might have rocked the boat?

No way, cheeky git.

There’s way more to this than the OP is letting on!
id be interested to hear the other side!

If I was your husband I would write him out of the will.

Is s/he legally entitled to that information?
If yes, give it.
if no, tell him/her to jog on.
Are there restrictions on what the money can be spent on? If not then again, s/he can jog on.

It isn't his/her money. If there is anything left after the beneficiaries die, then a portion of it becomes his/hers.

Maybe it needs spelling out so they stop thinking it's their money.

Please buy the SC the book "The Richest Man in Babylon" for his birthday, the entitled little pr*ck.

I haven't even told my own kids about my will, nor do I intend to. It's nothing to do with them at this stage while I'm alive. Having said that they are respectful enough not to ask.

Your DH needs to sit down with his son and tell him plainly that how (and on whom) he spends his money is none of his children’s business.

He should also make clear that this demand
was crass in the extreme and his son should be aware that any inheritance is not automatic on his part and the idea that you will compensate his fathers estate (and your DH will track) any money spent on your children will not be happening.

I would be mortified if one of my children had expressed such a financially mercenary attitude and have no reticence whatsoever in making clear to them that I was very disappointed in their behaviour and expectations.

This is where the MN ‘No is a complete sentence’ comes into play.

The stepchildren should only have access to information they are legally entitled to e.g. how the trust is managed or who gets how much etc. but nothing beyond that. But I’d make sure he has a really watertight will in case your children have issues in the future.

Sounds like a classic "I'm an adult now, think I know everything, probably heading to uni, and therefore everyone owes me" syndrome.

I’m afraid this grabby and unpleasant young man needs to be told to FO. I feel sorry for your DH. Jeez, some people are entitled!

Does he have a legal right to see any of this? If he does suggest he gets a solicitor? Is the trust set up in a way that limits what your DH can do with his share, if it's just a fixed amount he gets every month I don't see how he spends it is anyone's business. First answer would be no you can't see anything. Sounds like an entitled brat.

I assume your dh is going to speak to his ds about what an unreasonable request that is, and to remind him he has no legal or moral say over how his father spends his money?

Send your response by postcard from somewhere expensive.. with a note saying, sorry son I’m in the Maldives spending your inheritance. Cheeky little fucker.

i have a trust and everyone in my family benefits. Kids and step kids and DH. But it’s my money to spend as I see fit. Not my DCs, until I die and they inherit.

I have always been very very open about money. So no one is expecting something they won’t get which helps.

I'm reading this as the grandchildren were left the estate but the children have a lifetime interest in it. If that's the case then your SS possibly has the right to see how the estate itself is being managed but still wouldn't have the right to the financial breakdown of how his father spends the money he does have.

Their children will benefit after their parents’ deaths when whatever is in place will be dissolved.

So whatever remains, after your husband has taken additional income, will go to the children?

Your children are not your husband's children? Your property that you rent out and receive an income from will only go to your children?

He really can GTF!

I was going to say something more polite than this but actually, what the hell, he’s disgusting.

Has he made this demand of DH? I’d recommend either completely ignoring (as in not dignifying with a response) or responding with one line (That won’t be happening) and avoid getting into any kind of debate or conversation about it.

Hope you have decent wills which ensure you can remain in the home for your lifetime if you lose DH?

Also, I’d ensure any and all paperwork relating to your and DH’a finances are locked away so no one can start nosing around.

Blimey, what a horrible young man. Your DH needs to very calmly tell him that us NOT going to happen and he has zero rights to such information.