Stepchild wants to see finances and money spent on his stepsiblings.

Exactly!

I actually cannot believe the nerve of the SC to seek some form of entitlement to what is essentially his father’s finances. People will blame this on “blended family” BS because Mumsnet is very weird towards people divorcing and moving on. But yes some of your husband’s money will be spent on his current household. It’s absolutely non of the son’s business how his father’s income is spent unless the the son was missing out.

The father should simply say any money spent on the current household is from his income and any on his elder son was from the inheritance.

I would also question how I managed to raise such a disrespectful child.

Has it been carefully explained to the young man how the assets and money have been left? Now that he is 18 he could know the legal obligations. Show him a copy of the will the will. Maybe he has misunderstood things. Any other teens could learn as well.

Your husband needs to tell their child to FO.

Absolutely.

‘Blended families are such bullshit.

The Little Scrote's Father's finances are none of his business.

Exactly.

All the second marriage posters clamouring that the stepkids should get screwed over.

Step families are rarely happy units.

This thread is sickening.

So basically your SS has no legal right to see your ‘finances’ or to insist on any form of reimbursement on money spent from your own assets after your DH passes ? If the assets will be sold and he will benefit from a part share of the sale proceeds, the income they are generating now is nothing to do with him - I would be questioning why he thinks otherwise . I would make sure that you both have watertight wills too, because he sounds a grabby little fucker. I’d tell him to whistle.

OP, OP's skiing child and that child's father are money-grabbing scrotes, no, for taking money to pay for a child that is not the SS's father's child? Why are they all fine to benefit from the SS's father, but the SS is not?

This is so typical of blended family crap and it's always the first family that miss out.

What a rude and entitled SS. Your DH’s income, regardless of source, can be spent anyway he wishes. He could loose it all in a casino every month, if he wanted to. Maybe SS doesn’t fully understand how the inheritance works and your DH needs to explain the asset that will be sold in the future and that the income received from that doesn’t impact his inheritance.

Suggest the entitled little arse familarises himself with Arkell vs Presdram, in particular Presdram's response.

Your husband needs to tell his son to wind his neck in. His finances are nothing to do with his son. I'd be fuming.

very interesting how when mumsnetters make threads about being step parents and financially supporting their stepkids and inheritances most replies are they should put their own dc first

The assets that generate an income, a quarter of which my husband benefits from, will be sold on the death of my husband and siblings.

I don't get this bit. There could be 30 years between the first and last sibling dying.

The more you look at it, this has got absolutely nothing to do with what the grandfather has left to the grandchildren, because that's ring fenced to be untouched until the dad and his siblings die.

This is about a grabby 18yr old wanting anything not spent on him and his sister, by the dad, as some kind of "add back" to his dad's bank balance when his dad dies.

If the step child gets a £600 laptop, this is "unacceptable" for his dad to have bought it, and the stepchild's mother should reimburse the £600 on her husbands death, as cash for the "real" child to inherit.

What a nasty, greedy little prick. The dad must be so embarrassed.

Yes my dad got remarried and lived with new wife and her son.
As a teenager I didn’t want to spend a lot of time with my dad, but neither did I want another child living with him seven days a week. Illogical I know but emotions often are.
Fortunately my dad didn’t have a lot of money, but every ice cream he bought for stepbrother was one he couldn’t buy for me. God knows what I would have thought about an expensive ski trip.

But everything outside of the trust can be given to whomever he wishes.

and depending on what the trust says he may be able to drain a whole bunch of it, in which case there could be very little left 🤷‍♀️

anyway it changes nothing, money is not his and he needs to stop being an entitled brat. Maybe look after himself and his own future and stop thinking about what he could inherit…the rest of the world has to work hard

Well the inheritance from the FIL is not being depleted.

The only money being spent is income (whatever the source).

So if the argument is that income can only be spent on the husband’s children then that is obviously unduly restrictive.

So if I have this right @Greenhairedmonstor, the set up is something like this.. Grandfather had an asset for example a business that generates a profit. That provides all his children with an income . Maybe not a business maybe just a significant investment. Nonetheless it provides all his kids with an income in equal shares. Some choose not to work and live a more frugal life on the income. Some use it to top up their salaries. All in all - how each child spends it is up to them. So if one wants to buy a yacht, another wants to take their wife and her kids on holiday or buy them a pony , then that is entirely their right. No strings. Then when a child dies. The asset or a proportion of the asset is sold and the capital raised from the sale is divided between the grandchildren. ?
If that is correct then there is no possible reason why he has any right to know the ins and outs of his father’s finances .

Does he have pure simple jealousy ? That his dad lives with other kids ? I’m assuming he has never wanted for anything. Except his lesser time with his father ? If so then I’m sorry but that’s the way the cookie crumbles when your parents divorce. He needs to find a grip and grab hold of it.. and his dad needs to sit him down and explain that he is a very privileged young man.

What an entitled little shit

Does the step son enjoy the same quality of life as you and your children? I know you say your husband supports them...but is that 'CMS and no more', or the same level of holidays, comfort/luxury etc?

@Greenhairedmonstor

OK, let me be sure I have the facts straight.

'The Inheritance' (TI) as it is now is in actuality 'FiL's Legacy' (FL) that FiL bequeathed to his children (DH & siblings). It is set up in such a way that they cannot (or have agreed not to) touch 'the principal'. They split the income. Ipso Facto TI that is based on FL is NOT being depleted in any way. When none of FiL's children are living FL will be 'dissolved' and split between the next generation (step-bros and their cousins). Do I have this right or is it that when a child of FiL dies, their share of the income passes to their children until the last sibling dies then it is dissolved?

If so then your DH is not spending TI in any way, shape, or form on himself, you, his 2 DC, or your DC. He is spending his share of the income on the aforementioned people. That income is his alone to do what he chooses with.

Now, I'm not saying DH owes his eldest an explanation of jack shit. But, if he feels he wants to offer something more than just 'fuck off you ungrateful child', then he might explain the above and tell him that TI is in no way being 'diminished' and his share will pass to him intact. If he still wants a financial breakdown and a promise that 'whatever he thinks is due him' will be taken from your share of the house, then DH can tell him to 'do one' with a clear conscience.

Personally, I don't know who, but someone has put this into DSS's head. Maybe not recently, but at some point in the past.

Sorry but I cannot imagine prioritising someone else’s kids over my own kids. This is so sad.

And im sure op you wouldn’t either.

and “never have a relationship” seriously? He is a dumb 18 year old kid. This comment tells me this man relationship with his son was already bad. If he so quick to cut off his own flesh and blood

I feel like you are leaving out a lot of info.

Did the grandfather ever mentioned to the grandchildren that there is money for their education, such as university? Stepchild may have misunderstood and maybe not know much financial skills at this age thought he was due XX amount.

The distinction is that this is DHs money now, whereas DSS is eyeing up someone else's.