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AIBU?

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AIBU to think that too many restaurants play their music ridiculously loud

59 replies

DingDongDenny · 10/08/2026 10:11

We were visiting a small touristy village in Scotland last week with relatives and stopped to have lunch at a restaurant by the river.

When we walked in, there was only two other people there, despite it being lunch time. I had picked it because I liked the menu online, the view was good and the seating area was lovely, with comfy chairs overlooking the water. But as we sat down we realised the music was really loud, like nightclub levels, and we couldn't hear each other speak. The other couple were just glued to their phones.

I asked the waiter if he could please turn it down a bit and he said he gets asked that a lot, but the Manager won't let them. We decided to not to stay and on the way out I said to one of the staff that we were leaving as the music was too loud and she didn't reply, just looked at me like I was something stuck to the bottom of her shoe. We clearly weren't the demographic they were aiming for 🙄but then most of the tourists were either families or middle aged folk like us.

We ended up going to the cafe next door, which was heaving with folk and even there you could still hear their music.

AIBU to think that the comfort of your customers is more important than the 'vibe' you are trying to create. And that far too many restaurants have music that is way too loud and ruins the experience for most people, who are there to chat and enjoy the company of friends and family.

OP posts:
Thepeopleversuswork · 10/08/2026 19:04

I find this with pubs, particularly. Not sure if its me getting old(er) and having less patience but I find often that the music in pubs is so loud I have to shout to have a conversation while sitting at a table. I don't want to pick up blokes or dance so having my conversation drowned out by music is just a waste of an evening. Isn't this what nightclubs are for?

Maybe I'm just getting old and crabby but there must me a middle ground between hearing a pin drop and the sort of volume you'd expect at a Metallica gig?

aLFIESMA · 10/08/2026 19:01

Our town festival/fete is very good- food village, stalls, fairground rides, dog show, crafts & stalls, brilliant day out. However, the last couple of years there have been very loud (karaoke style) singers in the bandstand all day.
Feel so sorry for the children's dance group, drumming circle and cooking demos trying to carry on through it!
Hope I don't come across as a killjoy as I do like most music really but the sheer volume makes it very difficult to even shop the stalls!
It used to feel ever so much more friendly when you could chat with everyone too.

Keepthecat · 10/08/2026 18:40

I 💯 agree! Not just the volume, either, but the type of music. People will settle down, order drinks, coffee or desserts, if they are relaxed and happy. The 'vibe' is about keeping the staff happy in many cases. Personally I like the sound of people talking and laughing.

Ordonot · 10/08/2026 18:03

Loud music at the gym is pretty annoying too when there's different music being played for different classes and areas - it can feel like absolute torment. Thankfully when we fed it back to them they turned off the music in the gym when the cycle class was running, it was still bad but not as bad.

FFSItsTooHot · 10/08/2026 17:11

I think they do it deter people from loitering! It's not just restaurants that do this though,I've had to ask them a couple of times to turn down the music a bit in the Costa's that I regularly visit.. I felt like I was sitting in a night club,not a coffee shop. It was impossible to hold a conversation without shouting.

Netcurtainnelly · 10/08/2026 16:46

How loud is too loud as everyone has a different perception.
Places without atmosphere can seem ABIT dead
Maybe they should let you turn it down to exactly the right comfort level for you and then hope that's the right volume for EVERYONE.

YassQweeennn · 10/08/2026 16:36

Totally agree. Isn't the whole point in going out to dinner to enjoy conversation, which is nigh on impossible when there is music blasting.

I was beginning to think it was just me though, for example I went to the cinema yesterday and it was SO LOUD! Why do they have to turn up the volume so that your seat is vibrating?! I just don't get it?

Harry12345 · 10/08/2026 16:35

DingDongDenny · 10/08/2026 10:53

I know some people have made the point that there are still restaurants that aren't too loud and I agree. But the problem is when you haven't been there before and you've booked in advance, you are often stuck.

For example, our cousins reunion, It was a busy Saturday in Glasgow, no hope of finding somewhere else and no warning it fancied itself as a nightclub. I do think it is a more common problem now.

What restaurants so I can avoid lol

RosaMundi27 · 10/08/2026 16:32

I always lie and say that I have hearing impairment, they actually have to turn it down or be in breach of disability legislation.

Blackwidowsbite · 10/08/2026 16:22

I find this with some retail stores too! Tesco express near me has their music so loud! Cant wait to get out of there.

CynicalSunni · 10/08/2026 16:20

I remember being at loch lomond years ago. Just sitting on a bench trying to enjoy the view.

But the acquarium nearby was playing this horrible music on a ten second loop over and over really loudly. Couldnt believe it, i mean lovely place to visit and ypu couldnt escape the aquarium music.

AgentPidge · 10/08/2026 14:19

YANBU. My heart sinks when I realise the music's too loud. Such a pain to be shouting at your companions. The Guardian did an interview with Andrew Ridgeley last year I think and asked What single thing would make your life better? And he replied "No music in restaurants."

But music in shops at Christmas is my biggest bugbear. I've walked out before, because I was trying to buy something, couldn't decide and couldn't think straight because of the racket. I felt really hot and claustrophobic in a packed Boots one year and the music was part of it. So I went round and asked seven people what they thought about the music. Four people hated it. Two hadn't noticed it. One had noticed but didn't mind. So that's zero who loved it.

PoliteRaven · 10/08/2026 13:59

Totally agree, OP! Admittedly we all have different sensitivities but my point would be - WHO exactly would find their eating out experience spoiled by NOT having loud music played? Virtually no-one I'd wager.
I don't know about it being more common now though - I remember this when I was in my 20s, so getting on for a few decades now - weirdly I don't experience it as much these days but then I don't go out as much!

NoraLuka · 10/08/2026 13:43

Don’t they play the loud music deliberately so people can’t chat so they eat more quickly? I don’t like loud music in restaurants either, it’s not a nightclub!

TigerRag · 10/08/2026 13:39

If I wanted to go to a nightclub that's where I'd go! So many places are so loud now it sounds like I've walked into a nightclub and not a restaurant. I've been known to open the door and walk back out because the music is too loud

smallglassbottle · 10/08/2026 13:33

We used to visit a cafe that was mainly frequented by middle aged people, middle aged cyclists and elderly people. It was taken over by a 30s something manager and he took to playing contemporary pop stuff really loudly. A year later it was nearly out of business and was taken over by someone more sensible. We don't bother going anymore because the food is crap now.

Sulgari · 10/08/2026 13:30

Was it in Dunkeld, @DingDongDenny ? There’s a very weird “Ibiza style bar “ there on the river

I agree it’s becoming a thing, often ask for it to be turned down or to move

Loulou4022 · 10/08/2026 13:16

My grumpy old cow persona is coming out now!! 🤣 Everywhere seems too loud! The cinema, theatre, live music gigs, restaurants! I just don’t get the need for it to be so loud! I have tinnitus and have to wear earplugs everywhere or I’m left with super loud ringing for days after! And restaurants! Most people go with others and want to be able to chat not shout over too loud music!

Elieza · 10/08/2026 11:50

some of the problem is that the person who allows the loud music may themselves be unknowingly partially deaf, having listened to loud music for years, and therefore thinks it’s not that loud. when it is.

My neighbours children keep the car radio on LOUDLY and the parents allow it. kids are pre school and primary school.

i can hear it in my house from them in their car in the street with my windows all shut and their car windows all shut. shows you how loud it is.

those kids will be deaf by the time they are old enough to manage a pub and decide on music volumes. good luck with that lol.

DingDongDenny · 10/08/2026 10:53

I know some people have made the point that there are still restaurants that aren't too loud and I agree. But the problem is when you haven't been there before and you've booked in advance, you are often stuck.

For example, our cousins reunion, It was a busy Saturday in Glasgow, no hope of finding somewhere else and no warning it fancied itself as a nightclub. I do think it is a more common problem now.

OP posts:
GrannyWeatherwaxsHatpin · 10/08/2026 10:53

I don't know why places think loud background music makes 'atmosphere' because it doesn't, unless the atmosphere they're aiming for is that of a crap nightclub.

I actively avoid places that play loud music, I can't hear well against background noise at the best of times and I'm not going to spend the evening shouting or sitting nodding blankly.

LlynTegid · 10/08/2026 10:51

There is noise, and there is noise about a level which could damage the hearing of those who work there. If the latter, then as you have raised it with the staff, complaining to the local council on those grounds would be reasonable.

IntergalacticHamster · 10/08/2026 10:49

I agree op, loud music is a pain, literally. I struggle with noise full stop, so loud music makes me run a mile.
You've also reminded me of a visit to one of our favourite places which was always so busy and so difficult to find a seat as it was so fabulous.
On this occasion we walked in and the place was empty.. very odd.
Placed the order and was told by the waitress that she and her husband ( the chef) were the new owners. All fine.
Order arrived, and as we started to eat the waitress started to sing... Badly, off key, wrong words, loudly, screechily, the lot, all whilst walking around us and the other empty tables.
She continued until we' d finished eating, then stopped.
On asking if we were having desert and we declined saying couldn't possibly eat another mouthful, blah blah, she said it was such a shame as she had another of her fave songs lined up for us over desert and coffee .
It's no longer our favourite place because we don't go there anymore.

Netcurtainnelly · 10/08/2026 10:40

For atmosphere.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 10/08/2026 10:39

Oh Lord yes!

We once booked dinner at what looked like a very good steak restaurant on Richmond’s riverside, for us and two couples we only got together with about once a year.
We’d checked the place out at lunchtime - all fine.
In the evening the music was so loud, we had to shout at each other across the table.

Never again! WHY do they do it??

The following year I checked with a different restaurant in advance that it’d be quiet.

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