AIBU to be concerned my ex left our eight-year-old alone?

Hm, I've done this with my DS, just to wait down reception for our takeaway delivery or to pop to the vending machine. 8 is a little young but it's not really that big of an issue if she's just chilling in bed and has access to an ipad. If I leave DS at home to pop to the shop 3 mins away I always stay on facetime with him.

@HumberSquid
Maybe language would be an issue for the child? Signage on doors?

Ah yes foreigners. Shifty types. Unsafe.

Yes. He's unlikely to challenge any safeguarding thresholds with those actions and so he is entitled to parent as he sees fit. As are you.

It isn't that it is fine. It is that the law says what he does with his child in his time has nothing to do with you. The time where you parented together is over

It’s absolutely not fine @Hero54 and do not doubt yourself.
Can your little boy use his iPad to contact you when he is not with you?

You chose to have a child with him what do you expect us to say no 2 parents will ever agree 100% of every aspect of parenting even one's who stay together

You don't want to accept it so now what?

TBH if he wanted to go to the gym he could have taken your DS who could have used his iPad there, at that she I’d be fuming at leaving him alone in the room

I've just Googled this, and this was the response when I asked about leaving a child in a hotel abroad:

'Leaving an 8-year-old child alone in a hotel room in a foreign country can be considered child neglect or abandonment under local laws. While specific age limits vary by country, child welfare authorities and police worldwide generally view an 8-year-old as too young to be left unsupervised in an unfamiliar, public accommodation'.

Personally, I would research the local laws to find out where he would stand if anything had happened to your son, and then if you still feel strongly about it, I would refuse permission for him to take him abroad in future.

Even in the UK this may not have been OK - this is what Google said:

Legal Guidance and Risks

• No Fixed Age: UK law does not set a specific legal age for when a child can be left unsupervised, but it is illegal to leave them if it exposes them to danger.

• Maturity Level: Guidance from the GOV.UK Law on Leaving Children and the NSPCC notes that children under 12 are rarely mature enough to cope with an emergency.

• Unfamiliar Environment: A hotel room introduces extra risks compared to a familiar home, such as navigating a strange building during a fire alarm, handling strangers or staff knocking on the door, and the child waking up frightened in an unfamiliar place.

• Hotel Policies: Many hotels have strict internal policies prohibiting minors from being left unattended in rooms, and staff are not responsible for supervising children.

@RoseField1
Did you actually even read the op’s post ??
The child’s father didn’t even tell his young boy what to do if there was a fire.

Except it's a parenting decision that the ex is entitled to make. So she can't really put her foot down and insist on it not happening again unless she wants to become really obstructive and push him into taking her to court by refusing holidays.

I don't actually see any issue with what he did. He was in the same building, it was 30 minutes, the child knew what to do in an emergency. I started leaving my DS at home alone for short periods when he was 8. It's on the young side but I assessed he was ready, and it was fine.

You’d want assurances that he wouldn’t do the same again before he took him on holiday next time.
Plus it may be useful if your ex knows that DS will tell you stuff.

Well, to be frank, this is why you have to be really sure the people you have kids with are aligned on the core issues. For me, something like this would be a core issue. I know that even if me and my husband ended up hating each other and hurting each other, we would individually never leave our kids in a hotel room and would be furious with a partner who did.

You and your ex obviously aren't aligned on many things. That is why you aren't together. This is just a further symptom of your incompatibility.

There isn't anything you can really do but let go

I don't think anyone is saying you should disregard your child's wellbeing, just that there is no legal age before which you CAN'T leave your child home ALONE, so there won't be one you can't leave them in a hotel room either.

The reality is that legally your child's dad did nothing wrong so, unless you can simply convince him to think he made a mistake and promise not to do it again for a few years, there isn't really anything you can do.

My DF left me in a hotel room when I was 7 years old in a foreign country while he went off to the pub. I was asleep (afternoon nap after coming off a long haul flight) and woke to find him gone. I was scared and remember it well - it is not an acceptable thing to do.

I agree with you, totally unacceptable.
It's not like he had to leave them for an emergency - he wanted to go to the gym.

@harshbit
Your daughter is 10 - the op’s son is 8.
Your daughter is in familiar territory- the op’s son is in an unfamiliar hotel in another country
Your daughter is meeting up with friends- the op’s son is on his own
Can you really not see the problem?

The reality is that unless you are quite amicable, you have little say over these kinds of decisions after a breakup with a co-parent.