Upset DP didn’t get off train with me

I presumed that post was being ironic.

He should have packed pants and a imodium, not her? That's a bit infantalising.

That's like expecting my partner to pack pads, tampons and spare knickers for me - it's my problem to sort out if I have a period or any issues that mean, I need to use a toilet more frequently.

Absolutely agree he should have got off the train with her, but it's her responsibility to bring what she needs. She isn't a child.

I wouldn’t do this to a friend, or any personnI am travelling with for example a colleague. Definitely not my partner. And I am a women. My DH wouldn’t either. It’s quite odd behaviour actually.
I don’t think the late and drunk people around really had anything to do with it as I’m sure you have got trains home at night before, but just carrying on the train journey and meeting you in the pub after is quite odd. If you are travelling with someone who needs to stop then you stop with them. What did he gain from going ahead??

I actually suspect he doesn't even believe the issues are serious OP and thinks you were attention-seeking so he was "seeing to it" that you didn't get away with that sort of "manipulative" behaviour.

I'd ditch him if I were you ... He sounds fundamentally lacking in empathy.

classic male, always unprepared…he should have brought some extra pants and imodium for you

What is wrong with him,anything could of happened to you.my dh can be a bit selfish at times but most definitely would not stay on the train.

Massive red flag

Of course you are capable of doing it without him but that’s completely beside the point. He was totally wrong to leave you when there was nothing urgent that he needed to stay on board for.

That was one hell of a risk.I'd be worried the toilets may not be open at that time of night, on a station.

In those circumstances you'd have no toilets and an additional twenty minutes to wait for the train on top of the train time home.

My husband can be inconsiderate at times but I’m 100% certain he would never do this. Its appalling that he would abandon you like that, ill or not.

I would definitely split up with him over it.

I think sometimes it doesn’t occur to blokes that the world is slightly less safe for females. I’ve some (now) ex-partners that would likely have acted much the same way because it would never occur to them that I couldn’t look after myself … but whilst I do see myself as very independent and consider that I can look after myself, it’s still rubbish having to then wait around for a train and continue the journey alone when you were previously spending time together with that person. I’d have got off to wait for a partner or friend that I was already travelling with, regardless of whether I thought they were vulnerable or not. It makes much more sense to me, I’d be happy to wait for them as long as they needed and then we’d continue our journey together. I feel like not doing so would be rude. But even more so if my travelling companion is feeling unwell, I’d want to make sure they were ok and didn’t need anything - not abandoning them to go and drink.

So whilst it probably didn’t occur to him, the concern is that he didn’t realise when you raised it with him. Not going to tell you what to do with your life and relationship but I absolutely do not think it unreasonable that you were upset at effectively being abandoned.

Can't understand either him or PPs thinking the issue was whether you could manage on your own, OP. Of course you could- you're a grown woman.

The issue is that you were out together- had spent the day together and agreed to go to the pub together. For him to choose an extra 15 minutes in the pub by himself instead is very obviously going against the plan, as well as just being lousy, inconsiderate behaviour when you weren't feeling great.

Weird, selfish and not what you deserve or should expect, @Trainissue.

unbelieveable...what a .....

I mean as your husband he should probably have wanted to make sure you were OK & safe so should got off with you.

but then you are also a grown ass adult & so should be capable of just getting on with it on your own.

so sat on the fence here but Husband is still a dick

Does your life generally centre around your sickness, he's regularly having to support you for being ill, and he's just tired of having to accommodate it?

It doesn't matter at all by the way how sick you are or whether it's your fault, before anyone starts, and you absolutely CAN be a decent person and just get fed up accomodating other people's illnesses - it's normal, human nature and doesn't make anyone an (insert insult here)

If not, he was being a twat. If so, well I'd cut him some slack.

Throw him back. Sounds like an alcoholic or just has no concern for you.

No way on earth my DH would have left me there.

I’ve got a chronic illness and sometimes need to use/find a loo urgently. I’d be hurt if anyone I was with didn’t come with me.

I think, in that situation, it's just a basic courtesy to get off the train together, and then continue travelling together. I know that my husband would get off and wait, as would my friends. I would do the same for them.

Hell no. My husband would NEVER let me get off the train alone, even during the day he'd get off the train and wait for me. My husband would have every confidence that I could do this alone, but he would still stay with me.

This resonated with me. I agree he definitely should have got off with you. I dated a man id known for many years previously as a friend. He continued to treat me like one of his mates and was something he would have probably done. Didn’t see being a gentleman or caring for me as a priority and did prioritise drinking and his own needs over mine. This is one of the reasons I stopped dating him and as pushing 60 years old I was tired of expecting more. They show you the best of themselves early on in a relationship. I’d be interested to know how long he has been a DP and if there has been other examples of selfishness?

Is he a serious boyfriend or have you just started going out? I probably wouldn't want to go out with him again.

Presumably when OP expected him to get off the train she meant just that, get off the train, not go in the cubicle and wipe her arse.

My DH has similar issues. No way on earth I'd leave him and just carry on to the pub. How horrible

YADNBU! He's waving his red flags and showing just how (un)important you are to him. I can confidently say it would never enter my DH head not to get off the train with me and wait. You deserve better.