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AIBU?

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Original poster

Would you judge a middle aged quiet couple playing cards in a pub rather than bigly conversing?

145 replies

Fifteen2fifteen4 · 09/08/2026 20:09

We're mid Fifties, been married together forever.

We're playing cards in a hotel lobby which we always do when we're away. Always happily but we don't really chat much.

If you were sitting chattingin a couple or bubbly in a group across from us, would you judge?

I feel a bit self-conscious that we're don't look as though we're having a companionable time.

We go away 2 or 3 times a month to nice places but don't sit and chatter, just sit in lobbies and pubs in the evening and get cards or backgammon out.

Lynn, these are quiet people.

Aibu to feel jusged?

OP posts:
SilenceInside · 09/08/2026 20:41

I wouldn’t negatively judge you at all. I’d just think that it was great that you were happy doing whatever you wanted to occupy your time and having a pleasant time doing so. Then I wouldn’t think of it any further!

CrawlingBackToYou · 09/08/2026 20:38

We do this all the time as a family, we also take scrabble to the pub with us whilst away and play a as family.

We have been judged unfortunately at a uk holiday park a few years back by a group of couples/children who loudly mocked us with fake upper class accents and sneering ‘shall we play tennis in the morning darling’ and other such nonsense.

Honestly I judged them more for sitting all evening drinking themselves in a stupor in front of their kids. It’s exactly the kind of evening my family and me would consider awful.

So you know, doesn’t matter if people judge you for enjoying your evening exactly how you wish to and accept that they are just not your people.

mondaytosunday · 09/08/2026 20:38

Sounds like a very companiable time! People don’t always have to make noise.

Busybookworm · 09/08/2026 20:37

Bigly conversing? Is that what Donald Trump does when he and Melania go to the pub?

Ibi · 09/08/2026 20:37

Do you have brightly coloured hair? Dress like you’re going to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show? Exceptionally loud card playing noises? If not, I really don’t think anyone would notice you!

Viperregency · 09/08/2026 20:36

Are you having fun? Enjoying it or are you bored? I ask because it is odd to worry about what others think if you’re having fun, if you’re not, then that maybe driving your question,

can I ask why you sit in the lobby though, not the bar?

trikonasanallama · 09/08/2026 20:35

I wouldn't care what you were doing, but why would you care if I did?

SwirlyGates · 09/08/2026 20:33

No one is looking at your or judging you. Nobody cares. Especially if they are busy talking to other members of their own group.

And why would you care what they think anyway? Confused

rwalker · 09/08/2026 20:32

It would remind me to pack card next time I went away

CurlewKate · 09/08/2026 20:31

My dp and I love to read together. Sometimes over a restaurant meal. Who cares what other people think?

Sandsnake · 09/08/2026 20:31

What card games do you play? Any particular recommendations for two?

And no, wouldn’t judge! Sounds ideal.

Branwells77 · 09/08/2026 20:30

Don’t be worrying about what others think or if they are judging you as long as you are happy that’s all that matters enjoy your breaks and card games

SpottyAlpaca · 09/08/2026 20:29

I worked in pubs when I was a student back in the day. One of the places I worked in was a typical suburban local. You would be amazed how many middle aged couples came in, ordered their drinks then sat at a table in complete silence. And did the same, perfectly happily, night after night.
Enjoy your card games, OP. It’s your night out so never mind anyone else.

rockingaroundthe · 09/08/2026 20:28

Sounds fine x

Blushingm · 09/08/2026 20:26

Me and DP do this all the time

RedRock41 · 09/08/2026 20:25

No judgement here. Think that sounds great. Who cares what folk think?

sweeneytoddsrazor · 09/08/2026 20:25

My mid 20s daughter is currently home between cruise ships contracts, and one of her friends asked her if she would go round for the evening to be the dealer for a poker night he was hosting so card games are definitely popular across all ages

MidnightMeltdown · 09/08/2026 20:25

A chatty bubbly group of people are unlikely to even notice. They’ll be too caught up in their own conversation.

whippersnapper55 · 09/08/2026 20:25

Why on earth are you worrying about what others think of you if you're both happy?

Anywherebuthere · 09/08/2026 20:24

Why do you care what others think?

Notateacheranymore · 09/08/2026 20:23

Yahtzee is also a good one for a fun time in a hotel bar or pub. Travel versions are available, and when there’s only 2 of you, it can be very quick but the scorecards have multiple rounds, so you can just keep going if you want.

In a place that has it’s own games that patrons can play, we always look out for Connect 4. We have the traditional set at home with a score card in the box lid going back about 18 years. I am slightly ahead!!!

YoQuieroVino · 09/08/2026 20:22

A group of people out having fun with their friends are very unlikely to be judging (or even noticing!) the actions of a random couple they don’t know sitting across the other side of a pub!

Teeheehee1579 · 09/08/2026 20:20

We are on holiday albeit with our 3 kids and at every meal/bar we have had uno out and have a libely competition going. SO many tables with couples or families on their phones for the vast majority - that I do notice. You playing cards I would think what fun if anything!

WineCharm · 09/08/2026 20:20

I wouldn't look or think twice about what you were or were not doing.

gamerchick · 09/08/2026 20:20

Playing games together is a companionable time.

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