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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Would you judge a middle aged quiet couple playing cards in a pub rather than bigly conversing?

145 replies

Fifteen2fifteen4 · 09/08/2026 20:09

We're mid Fifties, been married together forever.

We're playing cards in a hotel lobby which we always do when we're away. Always happily but we don't really chat much.

If you were sitting chattingin a couple or bubbly in a group across from us, would you judge?

I feel a bit self-conscious that we're don't look as though we're having a companionable time.

We go away 2 or 3 times a month to nice places but don't sit and chatter, just sit in lobbies and pubs in the evening and get cards or backgammon out.

Lynn, these are quiet people.

Aibu to feel jusged?

OP posts:
hahabahbag · 09/08/2026 22:41

My parents sit and play cards, we sit and read our phones, I think cards beats phones! There’s a couple who play backgammon in our local pub (they bring a set with them) I think it’s sweet.

Ophy83 · 09/08/2026 22:40

DH and I rarely play cards just us but if the kids are with us we always do as it is DS's favourite thing - I always have a pack of cards in my handbag! Wouldn't judge you at all

TubeScreamer · 09/08/2026 22:37

Nobody will notice or care.

26823Days · 09/08/2026 22:26

Honestly, OP, nobody cares so crack on!

We’re younger than you and often do cryptic crosswords together if we’re in a pub or cafe.

NoCommentingFromNowOn · 09/08/2026 22:23

Ahhhh bliss. Has your husband got an equally boring brother at all? If so, can you give me his number please? At this stage in life, that’s all I want.

SusanJJ · 09/08/2026 22:18

Nobody pays much attention to middle aged couples, OP.

friedaklein · 09/08/2026 22:11

I wouldn't even notice. Honestly, no one is thinking about you as much as you think they are.

BillieWiper · 09/08/2026 22:05

I somewhat judge someone using the made up word 'bigly'. Only a little bit though. 'Littley'. 😂

The only behavior I would judge in pubs would be people shouting, allowing their children to run riot unsupervised, making prejudiced remarks, abusing other customers, spilling drinks or being sick.

Otherwise they can do as they please!

Bananacrepewithnuts · 09/08/2026 22:04

You go away 2 or 3 times a month?
Blimey don't you like your own house 😂

X

SeaAndSangria · 09/08/2026 22:02

I've voted YABU just because you are being unreasonable for giving a toss what anyone else does or doesn't think.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 09/08/2026 22:01

Sliperzzzzz · 09/08/2026 21:58

Who is Lynn?

Lynn was Alan partridges long suffering pa.

notacooldad · 09/08/2026 22:01

I 100% would not judge and I wonder if people wonder ( or judge )me and dh.
Sometimes when we are in a pub we will be on our phones not talking to each other but we have been up and out of the house since 7am, hiking for miles, having our sandwiches at a lovely view and chatted to each other for the whole day. If we get to a pub we are just chilling. He doesn't mind, I dont mind so theres no problem!

Tomikka · 09/08/2026 22:01

I’d be sneaking glances and trying to listen to work out what game you were playing

northernplatform · 09/08/2026 22:00

No judgement at all, my DC (early twenties) say they often play cards at the pub with their friends

Sliperzzzzz · 09/08/2026 21:58

Who is Lynn?

ColinOfficeTrolley · 09/08/2026 21:57

Lynn, these are quiet people.

Gave me a little chuckle. You know I read this in an Alan partridge voice 😂

Boreded · 09/08/2026 21:56

Absolutely not, half of the fun is playing cards in a bar on a night when you’ve been out for your tea and you’re just winding down with a beverage or two

stravagante · 09/08/2026 21:56

We sit and read our kindles in companionable silence on holiday.

wherearemypeople · 09/08/2026 21:53

Claveaur · 09/08/2026 20:18

This! I’d be envious if anything.

Show quote history

Me too. My partner is lovely but no interest in card or board games whatsoever. I would love to play a game now or again.

JesseDavisGonnaHangOnInThereNSoul · 09/08/2026 21:45

Id think ,don't see that often these days
And go about my own day.

Charlize43 · 09/08/2026 21:41

I probably wouldn't even notice you... unless there was money all over the table and the stakes were high, or if you were playing strip poker and were sitting there in various states of undress...

Benmac · 09/08/2026 21:30

We have been married 47 years. Happy to sit in bars , lounges etc reading . Any comments we just say after all these years we can choose what to do.
Don't feel awkward.enjoy how close you are

Fansonmaximum · 09/08/2026 21:29

Why on earth are you wasting brain cells worrying about what others think?

if you like playing cards play cards.

if you like chatting away to each other do that.

why on earth are you worrying about others judging you for a normal activity?

if you were sacrificing children at your table : hell yes I would judge you but playing cards? I wouldn’t even notice let alone care .

don’t waste time worrying about others judging you - total and utter waste of time and energy.

lebin · 09/08/2026 21:26

I wouldn’t bat an eyelid. I think most people wouldn’t notice you at all, and those that did would think it’s nice.

Hankunamatata · 09/08/2026 21:26

Im away with my teens quite a bit due to their hobby. Me and youngest always play cards or small game to pass time.

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