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AIBU?

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Original poster

To feel like I’ve lost my freedom and spontaneity for the next decade minimum

184 replies

overandoveragain26 · 09/08/2026 20:00

I’ve already posted in lone parents but no replies and I’ll be honest - I really need a whinge tonight, nothing else needed [ smile]

I love my children so much but … I want some time away, some proper time away, not a few snatched hours, a full day, preferably a weekend, where I don’t need to worry about dashing back, can explore somewhere new, can wander and be me and soak it all in.

And it isn’t realistic for it to happen. No family to help, it’s a huge massive ask for friends, and I just need to wait until they are old enough to be self sufficient but realistically that’s going to be a decade or more!

OP posts:
Original poster
overandoveragain26 · 09/08/2026 21:01

hattie43 · 09/08/2026 20:59

Where’s their dad , can he not have them for the weekend .

No, it’s through bereavement rather than family breakdown.

@Santasbigredbobblehat Flowers this is it … I used to think ‘when they are at school’ but I realise now how short the school day is (admittedly doesn’t feel like that when you’re working in it!) but it makes any sort of life for yourself horribly rushed and frantic and I guess I’d rather not experience it at all than have that.

OP posts:
Original poster
overandoveragain26 · 09/08/2026 21:00

I don’t think I said ‘no friends’! I said it’s a big ask for friends and it is - they have their own children, own ties and just so you can wander around somewhere unexplored - it’s a lot. Plus, unless you leave them until very late you’re still on a schedule.

Thanks @shellyleppard .

So true @ThisGoldFawn

OP posts:
hattie43 · 09/08/2026 20:59

Where’s their dad , can he not have them for the weekend .

Santasbigredbobblehat · 09/08/2026 20:58

I hear you. My youngest is 8 and has additional needs so I don’t when it’ll happen… my older two were away for a few days this holiday (camp) and the youngest in a day club and I had 5 hours a day to myself, BUT, it’s just not the same as every evening was spent sorting pick up and dinner etc.

Mysticguru · 09/08/2026 20:58

I've just seen your other thread. No friends, no family.
When they are both at school can they do breakfast and after school clubs?

ThisGoldFawn · 09/08/2026 20:57

Haven’t got any advice other than to say I know exactly how you feel and it’s tough. I didn’t appreciate the freedom I had pre kids. Whinging about it is definitely allowed!

shellyleppard · 09/08/2026 20:57

@overandoveragain26 when my two were in junior school I used to drop them off. Catch the bus to the nearest city, have lunch, mooch around the shops or go to the cinema. Be back in time for school finish..... They are now 18 and 21 and I'm planning a few days at the seaside by myself once college starts 😂😂
It does get better x

Original poster
overandoveragain26 · 09/08/2026 20:54

Thanks for replying - thought I was wailing into the wind there! One is at school and one at preschool (6 and 3.)

OP posts:
Mysticguru · 09/08/2026 20:53

How old are they? Do they go to school?