My brother was horrid to me last night

Regarding point one - employees taking their annual leave entitlement shouldn't bring any national institution to its knees. In fact we're legally required to take holiday, and for good reason. Ridiculous. 😂

Points two and three - it's one thing wanting your sister to have her own home and a fulfilling life with a nice partner, or wanting to share tips on managing finances.
It's another thing for a grown man to spend three hours insulting a younger woman with personal slights. Yuck! 😖

I wouldn't take life advice from someone like him and you shouldn't either. 😁

I am sorry your brother acted like a rude idiot. He sounds like he has some serious issues.

Not wanting to see him is perfectly reasonable. But don't let this bully be the reason you miss family events. Find an ally and stick to them, don't give him the satisfaction of messing up your life. ❤️

You shouldn’t feel responsible for keeping the family peace OP, when your half brother is deliberatly coming round uninvited to have a go at you.

It’s like a sport for him and you are willing to let it happen. There is no merit whatsoever in being around him to be verbally abused just to keep the family peace. You don’t need permission to help yourself when someone is verbally abusing you. It’s not impolite or bad manners to refuse to be in his firing line.

Either let your dad sort him out or stand up to him yourself. It can’t be that difficult as he is talking nonsense anyway. “Take your boring bullshit elsewhere Fred, I’m sick of hearing it, you silly old fool”

If you can’t bring yourself to do that, then self preservation should kick in and you refuse to answer the door to him, or you remove yourself from his company by going to your room or leaving the house. You don’t need an excuse as you already have one. He is abusive. It isn’t rude to walk away from him. You are in no way obliged to sit and let him insult you until he’s finished.

At a family gathering, when he makes a bee line for you, you go and stand or sit away from him with other people or you leave after explaining why to your host. “I’m sorry to have to leave early today but I need to avoid Fred as he is verbally abusive towards me, thank you for inviting me, it’s been lovely”

I hope you can give him a mouthful before avoiding him altogether for ever more.

That is horrible! He sounds so resentful.

I know people with much older siblings who are adored by them, almost like another parent. A little sister or brother needs encouragement, not to be put down.

I wonder if he is like that with everyone. Does he have a partner or friends?

You can distance yourself from him without making it too obvious. He sounds obnoxious.

Life's too short to hang out with people like that. He doesn't deserve you as a half sister

Well, I wouldn't be bothering with anyone, ever again, who spoke to me like this. I think you are unreasonable to even ask the question.

Does he think us NHS workers don’t pay tax ourselves?

He sounds like a fucking idiot.

Go very low contact but say nothing about it. Next time he’s due over, go out. Avoid as much as you can. He sounds really nasty.

I’d certainly have a word with him if he was my child and speaking to my other child in that manner. I wouldn’t be able to ignore it. Many grown kids live with parents still these days, he is from a different generation when life was cheaper.

It sounds like he resents not being an only DC. I asked my DD when she was about 6 what she wanted for her birthday. She said she really wanted to be an only DC again. I was speechless as she had a 3 year old brother but had clearly not got over not being an only DC anymore. As an adult she laughs about this now but at the time it really worried me.

I dont talk to my brother either because hed a complete tosser like yours.

Jesus, anyone who spoke to me like that would have their arse handed back to them. Next time - if you decide to be there when he visits - just say 'You sound completely deranged, Jeff' and walk out of the room.

Just tell him to Fuck Off

Let your dad say something to him. Let your dad tell him he is disappointed in him talking to you like that.

If it’s going to cause problems to go NC, then the next best thing is to realise that he probably doesn’t really believe any of what he says. He very clearly does have issues with you. If you lived with a husband and worked 18 hour days, 365 days a year, he’d find something else to bitch about. These are his issues. Not yours.

This.

It doesn't have to be that tricky. Obviously it's nice if your parents let you know in advance, but you don't have to go out. Just leave him with your parents and go to a different room while he's there.

Your dad having an argument with someone you don't want to spend time with should have a pretty minimal impact on your life, really.

Sorry you’ve gone through this your brother sounds like he has deep set anger towards you from childhood he’s jealous of the love relationship you have with your Mum and Dad. But on no level is this acceptable set the boundaries you want give as you live in your parents house but don’t be alone with him insulting you.
Well done on all your hard work for the NHS a well deserved break and also well done on the solo traveling I did it before I had kids and loved it:)
be kind to yourself and avoid as many situations with him as possible

Yes it would impact the family. However you are not being unreasonable. Your father clearly agreed that brother was out of order. What do they feel should be the consequences of this behavior?

From someone who has navigated horrible family conflict -
Please prioritise your peace and mental health. He's not entitled to treat you this way or have a place in your life just because of DNA. Would you accept this from a friend, or a partner? If you don't feel able to cut him off (which I would) then maintain a very low level of civil contact in front of parents and remove yourself from the situation the minute he becomes abusive. I would go NC but it's your decision. Reframe this situation - put aside what I'd do, what your parents want to do, figure out what would protect YOUR peace and go for that.
I have wasted a lot of time trying to make familial relationships work despite vile behaviour to myself. I guarantee you he will not be keeping awake at night worrying about how you feel or how to maintain the relationship. So don't waste energy yourself.
Life is too short - prioritise you in this, don't justify yourself to him. He sounds horrid.

What did you say when he said these things to you?

Don’t you pay tax too? He sounds a bit of a simpleton, as well as extremely unpleasant.

Hopefully your parents will stick up for you having witnessed his behaviour. Unfortunately when I was in a similar situation to you and I gave my brother a piece of my mind and went NC with him, my parents fell out with me because he played the victim and he can do no wrong in their eyes. It's made me see my parents in a different light, as I was previously very close to them. I'll never forgive them. They didn't have to take sides but they chose to anyway.