My brother was horrid to me last night

What did he say when you replied with oh do fuck off?

Haven't you posted about this lovely brother before?

So you're willing to be bullied by this twat just so "my parents aren't upset"? Stand up for yourself for goodness sake.

I suspect he is wondering what happens if and when dad dies ? And where OP is living could very much become his business.

OP has said Dad is not in the best of health.
This is all about what comes next…..

OP I know that you probably want to be close to him, don’t waste anymore time.
We were close siblings x 5, my Dbro always picked on me because I was a cryer, a sensitive child to his insults. He adored my younger Dsis.

He played off us.

I have never said this on here, he is still a bollox now. Last year I went low contact, not that he’d notice but I’m not tolerating his rudeness anymore.
I am 46, don’t waste another decade or two before going low contact. I still see him at Christmas, I stay sober and polite.
He makes me feel like that sensitive child again. He has no self awareness.

My brother would NEVER and has never spoken to me like that and he's by no means perfect.

The only thing he would object to is me travelling alone,he is 10 years older and still sees me as a teenager in some ways I think (late 30s,mum of 2).

And you really believe that? Really!?

I’ve got 3 sisters and a brother. 2 of my sisters I have nothing to do with. No guilt. They are unkind, racist, smallminded little people. Why would I have them in my life? Go NC and feel no regrets.

No I’d not class it as abuse as he’s not hitting me is he?!

one day if your daughter says her husband is talking to her like your brother talks to you and she thinks she needs to leave will you tell her not to, because being pulled apart emotionally by somebody is just ranting? Our mouths can be weapons as much as our hands. Think about it. All abuse is emotional. If your brother slapped you in the face it’s the damage to your emotional landscape that will stay with you. The physical damage is gone quite quickly but it’s the knowledge that you can’t trust him and you’re not safe with him. Your brother beats you up psychologically.

A verbally and emotionally abusive rant.

It is emotional abuse, there are several types of abuse:
Emotional/Psychological Abuse

• Characterized by behaviors that cause psychological harm.
• Indicators include:
• Isolation from friends and family
• Intimidation or verbal abuse
• Persistent criticism or humiliation

nope. it can be stopped by shutting the gobface down. The OP's Dad was wild about it too.

Anyone who calls you a freeloading piece of shit, pathetic etc is abusive. Would you not call it abuse if it came from a friend / boyfriend / colleague?

That poster is not saying his opinion is right or based in logic though, you are less in his eyes you are a child st home he’s the adult.

You sound like a lovely person OP. If you don't want to cut contract entirely, could you ask your parents to be mindful you are not left alone with him? It sounds like he took the opportunity for the abuse when they were not around.

I knew he wouldn't be on a high salary before I read all your posts. I know someone exactly like him who is targeting me recently. Angry little men like this feel insecure, jealous. They try to make themselves feel bigger by trying to put other people down. To convince themselves, or try and convince you, that you are smaller than them. He will be jealous of your career, that you are happy under the same roof as your dad, that you have the independence and freedom to travel alone. So many people can't do that. I travelled alone last year for the 1st time and loved every second of it. Getting to decide the whole itinerary, where to eat and total relaxation, bliss.

Every negative comment he makes, just know it is a highlight into his own insecurities. Bat 1 back if you can. Especially his pathetic comment that he is funding your holiday "Not on your salary mate".

Could he be resentful that you still live at home but he doesn't? Maybe he would want to live there?

You need to see the ‘rant’ for what it is. And it is abusive OP. He’d had a few drinks but in my view that makes it worse.

@youdeserveit it sounds to me like your brother is jealous of you. He got the shitty separated parent life and you didn't. You get to live with your parents. He can't as they are not together.

It doesn't give him the right to be abusive though. He needs to get over his ego and focus on his own life. Its like he is trying to belittle your life to make his own life seem better. MH issues I would say.

I'd be tempted to send him a polite but firm message then go very low contact.

"<name>, I'm sorry to see you have so much resentment towards me. If you need someone to talk to them I am here for you, but otherwise please refrain from any further nastiness as it isn't kind or necessary. X"

If he replies with anything nasty then just delete and ignore.

It’s also not a reason for your DB to be so vile to you. As a previous poster commented, you could probably work down a coal mine and he’d have the same attitude.

Well the fact is wherever OP is living is none of his business. She’s working and contributing to the household. Why would you think she should pander to this vile, entitled overgrown brat and inconvenience herself to satisfy him ? If he feels entitled to comment in such horrible terms to OP I’d suggest that all is not well in his own life. From one of her updates it seems her dad had to intervene to stop DB treating his own son in similarly vile terms, so clearly he has problems.

That’s not okay and not normal. I am also the youngest (my mum has my oldest brother at 19, me at 40) and he is very kind to me. He refers to me as his “practice child” because he looked after me a lot when I was a baby. It’s sad you and your brother have a strained relationship, and it seems like maybe it’s time to go NC. I’m sorry he’s a dick though. Enjoy your 10 days off!!