AIBU not to take DS2 to a family party?

No - the OP clearly says it’s her own extended family that hasn’t met her baby.

OP very weird petty behaviour. Why didn’t you throw a “welcome to the world” party for your poor second born?

Sounds rather petty!!

Oh, and well done for hosting a party 'at your expense'. So rare to find these days. I'm fed up of people charging me to attend their gatherings. So infra dig 😏

(Come on, OP. Chin up!)

That seems a bit petty and I’m not sure people will even get the point you’re trying to make.

Have you invited any extended family round to meet your second child? Most people would wait for an invite rather than invite themselves surely?

You said you had a party for your first born, maybe they’re all wondering why you haven’t done that again and think you want to be left alone.

Are you a child OP? Because you sound quite immature.

Imagine the OP telling them that they didn’t bring him because none of them bothered to come and see him as a newborn. Imagine all the stifled smiles and giggles from the other guests and how they quickly slink away from the OP.

Oh gosh, I hope you are not my niece! I haven't had a chance to see her new babe yet (it's been about 5 months) because I don't live so near. But her mum is hosting a family party in a couple of weeks and niece and baby will be there. Please don't cancel! I am soooo excited to see baby! (And v grateful to her mum for hosting as we are equi-distant). I'm sorry I didn't rush over before. I work and have kids also and I have loved the whatsapp pics, thank you!

In all honesty, no-one will particularly care if you bring your DS to the party or not. Some might say they were looking forward to meeting him but in reality, it’s not going to upset them at all if he’s not there. They won’t actually care.

Most of my extended family (excluding siblings and their families) met our children when we held their individual christenings. We never took any of them to visit elderly relatives as such. Extended family would have met our children at family gatherings. I think that’s pretty much the same for most people.

If you dont want to take him because its hard to do the journey with a baby or something similar - absolutely fine

Not taking him to punish people for not being interested in him - proper weird. No one is obliged to be interested in your child!

What would you say when you got there and people asked where he was, out of interest?

It’s a second baby it’s no big whoop this time.

You also didn’t throw a party yourself for your own second. Maybe you should judge your own preference for your first as well.

Is your childs name Jesus?

This sounds really petty and childish and nobody will notice or care why you haven’t brought your second child so you’ll just be shouting into the void, trying to create drama.

president to...

Very petty. And a bad previdebt ti exclude your son.

The fact you chose to have an event at your expense to intridue your first child may mean people expected one fir second child.

We had both our children dedicated followed by a buffet lunch and that's where extended family met our kids for the first time.

I’m going to go out on a limb and say the child will be left with OP’s parents and the extended family are conveniently on her DH’s side.

This is honestly such weird behaviour.

Bit weird. If you want them to meet him this is a nice opportunity.

You don’t mention having a similar welcome party for your second as your first, so you took a different more casual approach and they’ve taken your lead. It’s petty as hell to leave him behind and hard to understand.

Yes. Yes you are being unreasonable.

The child isn’t a royal princeling, and the family have already greeted your offspring in the shape of your firstborn: I think many do see that visit as notionally extending to any subsequent kids, so it’s all done and dusted at the one time.
Beyond that, the formal presentation of another new child can appear to some as a demand for admiration (not to say material tributes) rather than the occasion for broad family joy.
I doubt anyone much will be bothered by your not bringing DS2 along, so your little sting will fall flat.

(But out of interest, since you say the DGPs would look after him, how extended is the family among whom you’ll be mingling, if they are not included?)

A lot of people wait to be invited.

Take him, let people fuss over him. If yo leave him at home no one will get the point you are trying to make.

A lot of the time people just follow the parents lead when it comes to meeting babies, so it could have started as giving you your space and awaiting an invitation.

I wouldn't go to the family party without the baby in these circumstances, it seems you only don't want him there to teach your extended family a lesson. You'll come across a bit touchy and weird if you bring this bitterness to the party.

Bit petty to be honest.

Why would you exclude your ds from a family party?

I’m sure people either won’t catch on for the reason he’s not going or they will and think it’s a bit childish and ridiculous🤷🏻‍♀️

Your DC isn't a weapon to be used to reward or punish people.

Nor is someone else's party an opportunity for you to make petty digs at people.

It's not all about you you know.

I tended to assume extended family wouldn't want swarms of people visiting their baby?

People are never as interested in the second child, there’s no malice to it. Take him and introduce him, everyone will coo over him when he’s there, I’m sure.