Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU not to take DS2 to a family party?

110 replies

Robin781 · 09/08/2026 14:05

DS2 is 9mo. Hardly any of my extended family have been to visit us/see him since he was born. When DS1 was 4mo, we had a ‘welcome to the world’ type party at our expense, where close friends, immediate and extended family were invited for a full meal and met DS1. However, a lot of the same friends and family also came home to visit us and meet him before or after. We are attending a ‘big birthday’ party next weekend for an extended family member. AIBU to not want to take DS2 to this - for extended family to meet him for the first time - when they haven’t made the effort to check in or come and see us after he was born? No backstory, it just feels like people just haven’t made the effort. We have made the effort to visit elderly relatives with him who may not have been able to come and see us otherwise.

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
BellaBlister · 12/08/2026 00:11

Why did you have a party for your first born but not your second?

columnatedruinsdomino · 11/08/2026 22:47

I’d love to know who you expected to pay for your Welcome party!
Don’t your family think you are weird not to have a similar party for dc2? You went to all the effort of a party for dc1 but don’t think dc2 is worth it?

Nothavingagoodvalentinesday · 11/08/2026 22:25

Do you want to cut your nose off to spite your face? Take the opportunity to introduce your child to the family.

Flatandhappy · 11/08/2026 19:04

Ridiculous and you will be even more upset when you realise that most people won’t care.

Enigma54 · 11/08/2026 12:53

YABVU. How petty.

Aligirlbear · 11/08/2026 12:45

You are making a big assumption that your DC is the centre of everyone’s universe - he is yours but not necessarily the wider family. You held a party for your first child but not your second so you have put as much energy into the family meeting number 2 as they have. It seems very petty on your part to use your DC as a “weapon” and a reward and likely many family members won’t notice or be put out if you choose not to take him.

up to you but I think the only person who will be bothered by all of this is you and it is taking up valuable headspace which it doesn’t need to.

BumblebeesandPaperbags · 11/08/2026 12:15

This is the very definition of “biting off your nose to spite your face.”

PS I’d lay odds your family were waiting for party 2, an expectation you set up by the way

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 11/08/2026 12:08

saraclara · 09/08/2026 18:09

This is right up there for the pettiest behaviour I've seen on Mumsnet. I can only hope they it's a troll, rather than a person who actually thinks this way.

The sad thing is these people do walk amongst us, like lizard people (see David Icke).

m00rfarm · 11/08/2026 09:49

Most people were not that interested in your first one, but people generally make the effort to visit when the first child is born. No one is interested in the second one generally unless they are very close to you.

AImportantMermaid · 11/08/2026 09:38

Nobody will care. People are only interested in other people’s kids for 10 minutes max. They would be more disappointed if you’d promised to bring a Colon the Caterpillar cake and then forgot it. Do whatever is more convenient for you and don’t worry about anyone else.

BusyMum47 · 11/08/2026 09:34

With the greatest of respect, you need to get over yourself! Your son is not a Royal Prince. You sound like you’re withholding him from your family to punish them for not fawning all over you when you first had him. That’s more than a bit ridiculous. Plus, if they’re not that fussed in the first place, your petty act will not even have the effect you seem to want it to.

DaysIllRememberAllMyLife · 11/08/2026 08:54

Your comment about "at our expense" re the party you threw made me laugh. Of course you'd be paying if you were throwing a party.

Why didn't you have a party for your second child?

arethereanyleftatall · 11/08/2026 08:50

I’ll look forward to your follow up post when you don’t take him (that’ll learn them) and not one person queries why you haven’t or even notices. They are very clearly not that interested op.

Your whole post op doesn’t make you sound very pleasant. Remarkably self absorbed.

Floppyearedlab · 11/08/2026 08:10

This is petty and attention seeking.
Sounds like you expected them to all dance round you and come and visit you - why couldn't you visit them?

SusanJJ · 11/08/2026 08:01

Is this a reverse?

harriethoyle · 11/08/2026 07:58

Spot on. What extraordinary attention seeking!

FieryA · 11/08/2026 07:50

You are being very childish. The reason family visited the first time is because you had a party. Since you didn't have any this time, no one has particularly gone out of the way to come over. Nothing wrong with that. I am sure you would have received congratulations messages, if and when you announced the birth via whatsapp or social media. So what else are you expecting? You visiting elderly relatives is different because that is about respect due to their age. Take both your children to the party, have a good time, and don't create issues out of nothing.

Unblushingly · 11/08/2026 07:18

Well, that’ll show them!

The entire clan will go home shaking their heads, choking back tears, and saying ‘I am a sadder and wiser person who should have visited that baby, and brought gold, frankincense and myrrh.’

EnglishRose26 · 11/08/2026 07:15

Throw a welcome to the world with a full meal for DS2

PollyBell · 11/08/2026 07:15

This all sounds very high maintenance, you had a baby amillions of people dpo this every year they are not the centre of non parents universe life goes on

go or dont go but your reasoning is plain weird

havingoneofthosedays · 11/08/2026 07:12

Think is bonkers

mamajong · 11/08/2026 07:10

ThisNewZebra · 09/08/2026 14:18

Your DC isn't a weapon to be used to reward or punish people.

Nor is someone else's party an opportunity for you to make petty digs at people.

It's not all about you you know.

Edited

This! Feels like you want people to say 'oh thats a shame, I was looking forward to seeing LO'...

By all means leave with GPS if its better for you but your reasoning seems Perry and childish

Fansonmaximum · 11/08/2026 07:06

What will you say when people ask ‘where’s your baby’

‘I didn’t bring him as none of you showed much interest in him when he was born’

You are going to look absolutely insane.

if you go you go as as a family - which includes your baby.

leaving him at home to punish your wider family is genuinely one of the craziest things I’ve read on here and let’s be frank there is a lot of crazy stuff on this site!

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 11/08/2026 07:00

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/08/2026 06:57

So you did a welcome dc1 party but not to dc2 - but also pissed off that people didn’t come and meet no 2

maybe as you didn’t do a meet him party people thought you didn’t want them over

to not take him to meet people when have a chance is petty

Yes, maybe people were waiting for Welcome To The World 2.0

Swipe left for the next trending thread