Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

The reasons are extremely relevant. There is a big difference between refusing to get the uniform and not being able to 🙄

Indeed. Add to that he will be stopped constantly by staff asking him where his tie, blazer, etc are.

Not sure if this is a usual thing or just our area, but our local library takes in and distributes second hand uniform. With social anxiety he is going to feel awful if he sticks out in non uniform. They usually also do all the photos in the first week too. The school most likely opens a day or two before term begins, so call or drop in in person and see if you can get some supplies. Have you asked around neighbours? Someone might have some in cupboard somewhere that they don't want.

When you email the school also copy in the Trust - go online and find contact details - and mark your email urgent. Your son needs to. E kitted out before the first day and the Trust’s admin staff will be on normal contracts not term time only.

schools have so much lost property - they can and do dip into whatever hasn’t been claimed by the end of the last year. Bizarrely this always includes a huge volume of winter coats.

I have trousers and shirts I can post to you
. DM me.

Please sort him some uniform. Try your local Citizens Advice for grants or specialist charity help available in your area. There may be some things you can avoid getting like a jumper. My DCs never wore theirs. Trousers, blazer, shirt, decent shoes and correct PE kit will be essential though. Coat can wait for a bit until it gets colder.

Our local food bank has uniform donations at this time of year.

There should be an INSET day before the students go back. Contact the school and explain you’re struggling to afford the uniform. They will have spares he can access until you get sorted but please don’t just bury your head in the sand and send him in in his usual clothes. He will have a horrible first day - targeted by peers and also spoken to by staff. I hope you get sorted.

The winder coat can wait- he probably won’t need it straightaway. He’s got trousers and shirts. Keep posting on fb groups asking. You could contact your local women’s refuge/women’s aid and ask them if they have any contacts or ideas. This is a repeat problem that many families in yours and similar situations deal with. I have in the past too but luckily my children were primary school age so a lot easier to get and cheaper.

I hope your situation improves soon. And please make sure your child’s HoY and others at school know what you as a family have been through. He and you need understanding.

@FastMintSheep try your local charity shops....a lot of people donate school uniform. Does the school have a second hand uniform stall? Good luck x

But he still needs clothes, OP, so if you're not buying second-hand uniform, you will have to buy him something else (and he'll be growing out of any clothes he already has). Speak to the school, and maybe the PTA - they will be able to help you get the uniforms.

OP, I'm a teacher.

The school will be able to help you. There will be plenty of uniform knocking about that you can have for free. Our school office looks like a jumble sale at the end of the year with all the unlabelled jumpers and coats we can't reunite with their owners.

Please contact the school via email and let them know you are struggling and need support. They will be able to provide you with uniform and then you will also be on their radar for some extra support once your son starts. If you can find the email for the Head of Year 7 on the school website, that would be the best person to contact.

Don't worry or feel ashamed/embarrassed to ask for help. We all struggle sometimes and the school's priority will be to support you and your son as best they can.

Are you new to Mumsnet? This happens all the time. Someone posts to say they’re in some kind of trouble and someone always comes along to point out how much better they are/that would never happen to them/whatever happened was their own fault.

There’s a reason Mumsnet has the reputation it does.

Lots of good advice already. On the school shoes do his ones from last year still fit? If so use them at first.

This. Because it’s preemptive and you have told them your situation in advance of the school year, Schools will be understanding and most likely have one spare to give him on the day. or be able to purchase one for you for the start of September. I recommend emailing his year leader and his new tutor (you should have the names and emails of both by now). Most schools will have at least one Inset Day before term start so they will be able to see your email and arrange a child for your blazer or at least be aware he will be coming in without proper uniform.

It would be dependent upon families donating old uniform rather than binning it or putting it on Vinted, etc.

If nobody donates blazers, ties or jumpers, it's impossible to sell or give them to anybody, whether that's during termtime when there are staff actually working or the Saturday after the last payday before term starts when the uniform suppliers have queues stretching down the road and half the stuff is out of stock.

All schools will help but the extent of it will vary. Our school is in a deprived area so we go above and beyond to ensure equality for all pupils, including providing free breakfast for all pupils and free fruit and water throughout the day.

Unfortunately the way schools are now, especially academies, he will get into trouble. You don't want his new school to start with detentions, sent home etc, it may stay with him during his whole school experience. I don't think this is right btw, to punish kids or to have such expensive and strict uniform rules.

Around here there is a whole store of donated school uniform, it pops up a couple of times a year. Is there anything like that on FB groups that you can find? Some councils too have little grants they can give, so worth a call there too. Other than that, please do try to get the basics.

Please contact the school, email now and somebody might pick it up, I’m almost certain that they will find a way to help you. Is there a parents FB page for the school? Ours always has loads of uniform being given away on it, if you posted even anonymously and explained the situation I’m sure people would offer things that they were getting rid of. Even if you just had one complete full set then you could just keep washing it for now. I hope that things improve.

Phone the school. They will help.

Ask locally, there’s bound to be someone with old uniform. There are multiple people where I live offering uniforms currently. A coat won’t be necessary until October and that can be second hand or supermarket own brand

Also do not worry about a jumper right now- I’ll be for the colder months and pretty sure it’s not mandatory, it would be bonkers esp with an ongoing heatwave which may well go on til September!

You’ve got time to sort it. I’d see if your school has a fb group or second hand uniform group. Then post anonymously the situation you’re in and pm anyone who gets back to you. I’ve got lots of second hand uniform I’d love to give away from my ds to someone in need.

also second those who suggested emailing and ringing the school. Just be really honest with them. Good luck, op.

No you can't do that. You child would feel awful.
Use the £70 you have left to buy a shirt, trousers and blazer if you can and then once he starts speak to the school.

We have a local charity that gives secondhand uniform to families in need. I make sure we always send our stuff there.