Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

Firstly poor advice about turmiong up randomly on the inset day as a) they may not let her in (some schools onlylet in parents by appointment b) usually staff during inset do trainings and have the whole day planned with meetings.

OP, email the school now, some schools may have office staff in, or at least may have them end of holiday for ALevel and GCSE results, so someone will see it before and will forward it to wherever necessary.

27 years as a secondary school teacher here. The most important thing to yr 7 on day one is to not stand out. Even if school are lovely about it, he’ll will stand out in no uniform. Ring school or go in on 20th August; it’s gcse results day and there will be people there. If you can’t get hold of anyone then, go in on the first day which will be an inset day as others have said. They will have uniform and will much rather give it to you than have your socially anxious 11 year old stand out on day one. Then; name everything so you don’t have to fork out again if he loses stuff. While you are there; flag up how much you are struggling with the school. Make sure you are signed up for free school meals. They may well have services they can direct you to. My school are brilliant for this; we even have arrangements with food banks etc but we can only help families we know about and so many don’t say.

Vinted? Sales, the basics are cheap in the supermarkets.

Between you and the older kids, I'm sure you'll be able to stretch to sorting him out with the bare essentials before September. You'll need to be active in seeking things out, but the advantage you all have is time available.

God yes YABU. Firstly he’ll be a world of trouble, secondly heading into a new school sticking out like a sore thumb will do nothing for him. Ask on FB for pre-loved.

Are any of his primary school friends going to his secondary school? They may be able to lend a jumper or blazer until you can get hold of one, lots of people buy two or more. Also, if the school has a FB page for parents, post on there as current parents may have outgrown items. Or even local sixth form colleges etc who may have had students from there.

Yes that's right. And she has already done this, it's in her OP.
School, council, Facebook. She's asking for things that she hasn't tried. Some people are actually helping her out.
And considering all she's overcome and is still going through, she's doing bloody brilliantly.

A lot of schools also have ptfa who are in charge of second hand uniform. One of ours is due to go to secondary school and at the open day the ptfa had a second hand clothing stall.
If there is a PTFA it’s usually on the school
website with contact details.
There are specific FB pages for school uniform so worth looking up one for your area.
It’s worth looking on https://www.wellchild.org.uk/get-support/information-hub/financial-help-with-school-uniforms/ for some other ideas.
Shoe zone have some very reasonable school shoes that conform to the rules that a lot of secondary’s have for footwear

OP you absolutely don't have to justify yourself to complete bellends who have no idea of trauma, and clinical depression and anxiety.
Just when I think that the the age of "pull yourself together" is ancient history, along comes another beauty. Ignore the nasty batshit posters, thankfully there are still plenty of kind helpful people around.

I know the blazers are always expensive, but there’s one thing you might consider and that is to get hold of one of the blazer badges. If you can find anyone, anywhere that has an old blazer, doesn’t matter size, condition etc, and then you can get a cheaper, plain black (I presume) jacket from one of the supermarket’s school range and then have the badge sewn on. We did that once, iirc it was late secondary when buying a brand new blazer would have been a waste of money at that stage, but we took the badge off the old one and had it sewn on an Asda (I think) plain black jacket and absolutely couldn’t tell the difference.

YABU, sorry. You’ve known for months that he’s starting school. It’s been plenty of time to look on Vinted, marketplace, your school’s second hand shop,

Contact the PTA directly. They’re volunteers so would be more likely to reply during the summer.

Wow.
Feel better?

Please don't let this cruel and ill-informed post get to you. There are people who don't understand that anxiety can be an incapacitating illness; they seem to confuse clinical anxiety with day-to-day worry. The poster has no understanding of your situation, and you do not need to justify yourself to them.
You have some kind and helpful responses on here, good luck on getting your son's uniform sorted, and I hope things get better for you soon.

@FastMintSheep I'm a secondary school teacher and schools always have second hand uniform to hand out for low income families. We get lots of donations from pupils who have finished school or move.

Just phone or go in on Thursday morning if they do A Levels as there should be some senior staff that can help.

Definitely contact your primary school too - we often sort uniform for kids who are moving on to secondary.

Contact your local Baby Bank to see if they have any secondary school uniform. Contrary to their name, our local one also provides for children of all ages including secondary school - clothing, uniforms including for specific schools, shoes, coats and raincoats, school stationary etc. Don’t be afraid to ask for just normal clothing too. Our one can also provide clothing for mums, plus toiletries for all the family.

Please do contact your local one and if they can’t help ask them if they can suggest where else you could try (I.e charities or grants etc).

Also, go into charity shops at least a couple of times a week to check if they have generic uniform, coats and shoes.

I also work in a secondary school and like you’ve already heard, the school will do their best to help you.

Check local charity shops, contact the local food banks they often do uniform swaps.
Local charities such as the Salvation Army/ sr Vincent de Paul may be able to help. Local churches are worth a shout. Again local Facebook groups aswell for second hand uniforms. Try the school again they might be doing a used sale

He's going to need shoes ( use old ones? ) school trousers, a shirt, tie and blazer for the first day. He'll need PE shorts or joggers and top for the second week - he can use existing trainers if you can't afford uniform ones for a few weeks.
He won't need a coat or jumper till after half term, and maybe not then. My boys never wore a school jumper at all, or a coat, but that was their choice. If your son feels the cold, he can wear layers under the school shirt.
You could broaden your search for second-hand uniform...try Olio, your local street WhatsApp, asking friends. You might find if you put up your own ad rather than just looking at what's already there that you get more responses.
I do think the minimum uniform is a priority, if you send him into school not in uniform, you are setting him up to fail. This is more important than your pride, if you have to ask family to lend you money/contribute, then do so.

Vinted. Or the school itself will have 2nd hand uniforms. Charity shop for a coat. Social media as others have said. Most people would be happy to give away outgrown uniform.

Where I am, there is a Facebook group for uniform and also some of the charity shops have a rail just for uniform. I’ve never had any issues getting my hands on second hand uniform because teenagers grow like weeds. Also, when my dd had grown out of something I was pleased to be able to get it out of the house!

Can I also add - OP, please ignore people saying to go in on results day - I would strongly advise you not doing this.

Teachers will be incredibly busy on results day supporting students whose grades are not what they were expecting and doing the admin for this - contacting exam boards, contacting sixth forms, unis, etc, helping kids with Clearing and so on. No one will have time to be sorting out a new Year 7's school uniform on a day when children's university places / sixth form places are the priority to sort out.

Please just contact the Head of Year 7 and the school office (as I think you've already done) and wait to hear back. Someone will get back to you before the start of term, I promise. Going into the school is not really ideal as you can't guarantee the right person will be there to help you on the day you go in.

Definitely ask on any local Facebook groups or school groups/WhatsApps. I’ve managed to get a blazer and two jumpers for my son starting year 7 in September. My son’s school will always help with uniform when requested so do follow up with the school. The PTA may have a supply of second hand uniform or the school may be able to help you with the cost.

As well as Facebook have you tried placing Wanted requests on Olio and Freecycle/Freegle? Hope you get some help.