Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

It's a good idea to contact a local food bank and see if they know any resources re uniform. Good luck, OP.

Nasty…educate yourself!

Do the school have a facebook parents page. We have an unofficial one that a parent is the admin for. People are always offering preloved uniform on there.

Do you know anyone who has older children who already attend? There might be whatsapp groups already setup for their year groups.

Good luck, OP, I hope you feel a bit lighter knowing there are options out there that might help. And people who understand you've been through/going through a lot and are wishing you well 💓

Don't be disheartened about the school not replying. The people who can help you are out of office but guaranteed to be able to respond in the two days before start of term. That's when staff are in attendance for planning and training, especially for new intake.
You need to email, marked "urgent fao new intake pastoral lead" and explain your issue.
They will help you immediately as their guest concern is your kid does not feel left out.
Depending on how close you are,, they will ask you to come in and pick up emmergency uniform supplies ("pre loved") or they may even drop off to you if the logistics work.
They will not judge, they will want your child to have the best possible experience in his new school and they will do what they can to facilitate this.
You are not alone in struggling, and all schools have discretional provision.
They are on your side completely, but you do need to be proactive in reaching them as suggested above.

Also blazer, shoes, PE kit and a coat. PE kit will need trainers and potentially football boots or rugby boots.

Not YABU. But I am amazed at £200. She has 2 shirts and 2 pairs of trousers, so presumably she needs a pullover in school colours? That is surely affordable because the £73 is for this kind of thing. Black shoes, presumably. Best advice is to go on Facebook and ask, I suppose. Better advice would have been to sort this out at the beginning of the holidays.

Im sure there have been lots of great ideas suggested. Im just adding please do get this sorted for your boy as I'm sure hes nervous enough about starting a new school, without him getting into trouble for not having the correct uniform on the first day. Secondary school really is strict about this.
Our local uniform suppliers are so helpful and collect old outgrown uniform which gets sent to a uniform bank for people in need. Maybe give your local supplier a call and see if they offer the same service & have had any recently handed in or if they can offer any ideas.
Best of luck to you.

Do you have school uniform banks locally? Check with local food banks, children’s centres, youth clubs etc.

Ask on local Facebook groups if anyone has any secondhand uniform/spares.

Apply to local charities like the Lions or Rotary club who often help out with situations like this.

I don’t really give a shit about uniform generally and think schools enforcing strict uniform codes and punishing kids need to sort out their priorities. However, I would hate for your son to feel singled out or different on his first day. He doesn’t wan’t to be known as ‘the poor kid’ for the next 5-7 years.

Whilst the school might be able to help and there might be staff available to talk to you at INSET, there also may not be! Particularly if your son is suffering from anxiety, it might make things a bit easier if he’s got his stuff sorted ahead of then, even if only for the first few days.
Is there a baby bank local to you? The ones near us also do uniform packages at this time of year.
Did you contact his new school
before the end of term? Ours always proactively directs people to its second hand uniform day and you can also email and ask for specific items & sizes and they’ll help where they can.
Does your son receive pupil premium? If so, it might be worth having a conversation with his new school about how that is spent and what they will
subsidise.
With uniform, be realistic about how many items he needs. With my DS now, he does a lot of sport so he just has two pairs of trousers & two shirts as I know I will do a wash at least every other day and am in the position of being able to put things on a heater airer if I don’t think they’d otherwise dry over night. If you’re not washing that often or don’t have a way or the means to dry things quickly, you’ll need 5 of each.

You could try contacting your local councillor - their surgery details should be on the LA website. They may well be able to help with a hardship fund application and or know of other local funds that might be available.

I really hope you manage to get it sorted, and just ignore the replies from those ghat obviously need to get into the real world and stop judging others

Is there a uniform list on the website? It should have been updated to reflect the new ruling on branded items. If you post the non branded generic items on here people could post links to good deals they spot.

Do you have any decent quality primary school uniform/shoes/coat that you could pop on vinted to raise funds for the new?

I think for your son’s sake I would try and cobble something together, he’ll stick out like a sore thumb if he’s the only one not in uniform. Most of the supermarkets have really cheap trousers, or local charity shops sometimes have generic uniforms, same for a winter coat, keep a look out in charity shops!

You won't need a coat in September so just focus on what he will need then, the blazer and shoes.

There are probably lots of families at the school with old blazers in the right size, it's just a matter of finding them. Have you asked your friends whether they know anyone witj older kids there? Does the school have its own Facebook page/community?

How much extra is your rent compared to what you get in local housing allowance? Are you in private rented or social? Is that the main pressure you are paying a big shortfall? There is a possibility sometimes of discretionary housing payments?

there is also the Crisis Fund usually available through your Local Authority if you go on your website

are your household bills high? Gas electric? Anything else you can cut out of the budget

Foodbanks so you have more cash available

Entitled to website to make sure you are claiming all available benefits

you mentioned leaving an abusive relationship is he the father of your dependent child? Do you get any child maintenance? Appreciate this may be a no if there are safety issues and you don’t want to pursue this option. Is he the father of all of the children and if not do you get child maintenance for any other dependents?

have you told your family/friends how bad things are? Is there anyone that could support with some of the basics?

you should be able to approach your local council or advice centre like CAB for some advice. Without knowing how much you get vs what goes out that is all I can think of for now. There may be some support services you have never heard of like Soroptomists etc

apologies if some of this have been suggested I havnt read all of the posts

Good luck x x

Definitely contact school.

I'm a primary teacher but we allocate some of our pp money to buy uniform when necessary for families in genuine hardship.

Go to the schools local charity shop, if any charity shop and I promise they will GIVE you the basics if they have them! You can’t send him in non uniform as he’ll be picked on from the beginning first being different. You do what you can to source items even if that means asking food banks and ringing schools umpteen times!

Have you checked the school website? My DCs secondary school keeps a store of second hand items (including prom wear) you can request via their online payments system. No charge, you just have to pop into the school office and collect. DDs PE came from there and went back there! You don't have to be short of money to access it, they are happy to do it to reduce waste.

Phone the school. Ours has a bank of uniform for those in need. Ask on local FB groups as someone will have what you need. And yes phone round charity shops and ask what they have. I have a whole bag of stuff here at the mo that I’m about to donate back to our school

Do you have a local branch of the salvation army near you? They often have clothing stock for families

Some school uniform shops or schools can sell you the badge to sew onto a supermarket blazer.