Aibu to send my son to school in non uniform

Ignore that poster OP. They're over lots of threads being generally mean and ignorant.

what you’ve said doesn’t appear to apply to OP though? OP has said she’s already planning on getting a job, and is quite opening discussing on here ways of trying to source a uniform for her DS. I would say that whilst op is saying she intends to look for work, it doesn’t make sense in putting it off any longer. I’d make getting work a priority. Time to get out there and get a job…..

If you're on UC, OP, and can't find help/uniform anywhere else, you could get a budgetting loan from the DWP.

I'd only do that as a last resort though, as it means you'll have a bit less UC every month until it's paid back.

I'd also recommend that once you've sorted the immediate problem, you go to

Benefit checker

and check that you're getting everything you're entitled to moneywise. Don't take any notice of the benefit bashers on here, they have no idea how hard it is to recover from the sort of trauma you've been through and lack the empathy to imagine it.

@FastMintSheep im a school governor at a state secondary school- we quietly provide free uniform to any child who needs it plus a breakfast and supper club. Most schools are very good at quietly providing support to students in hardship. Hopefully yours will be one of them. Please email the designated safeguarding lead (dsl) and explain your situation. They will be able to help and also it will be useful background information for them to help your DS start school with other support. Exam results days are 13th and 20th August - there will be staff in both days but obviously their focus will be on the students getting results so I think it’s a good idea to try to speak with a member of staff on one of those days but only to make initial contact and arrange a future date you can talk to them before school starts.

Well done on leaving an abusive situation.

Good luck 💐

Secondary teacher in a really big school here. Firstly, please ignore some of the horrible, mean-spirited comments from people who lack imagination or empathy.

You’ve got the most important items - it sounds like you just need a tie and shoes for Day One. Secondly, this is not an unusual situation. I’ve known children arrive at school with the clothes they had on their back when they had to leave somewhere at speed due to DV or a fire or other difficult circumstances. There will always be emergency supplies via lost property, the ‘lend-out’ box in every year office or via pupil premium money - and I can guarantee that every head of year will have a stash of ties.

It sounds like you have already contacted the school but if you check the website, there should be an admin email address and then you can mark the email FAO the Head ofYr7/ New Intake Manager etc. We regularly get confidential messages as staff explaining that we should not question a child as to why they might not have equipment or full uniform. I’d also second what PPs have said about charity shops and try NextDoor online, as there are often local schemes for people in need that run uniform support. Try your local councillor too - in my city in England they signpost this stuff online.

Wishing you all the best while you get back on your feet and know that you are not alone, and this won’t be forever.

Teacher here. Contact the school. We definitely quietly provide families who are struggling with an entire uniform, including for PE.

We recognise that people don't choose to have this problem. Please don't be embarrassed about reaching out for help. At my school we'd welcome a parent actively communicating with us so we can work towards a solution together. It will also provide a strong foundation for future communication.

I just checked my county council's website and it explicitly says they do not assist with uniform costs:

"XX County Council does not give money for school uniforms. Instead, we advise on managing living costs and tell you where to find other support. Visit Cost of living support for more information.

Or, if you’re working with an Early Help Keyworker or Social Worker, check with them. They will be able to tell you about any support you can get."

But they've always been tighter than a duck's arse, I used to work for them.

Have you checked the school's social media or pta social media to see if they have a second hand uniform sale? Also, if he is pupil premium, the school may help with uniform, there may be information on the school website as to who the pupil premium coordinator is.

Not sure if we're allowed to make apps but I made over £75 last month on Prograd.

https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.prograd.app

I've made £170 ish on FreeCash in the last month too though I haven't tried to withdraw it yet. https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.freecash.app2

You play games at hit targets which pays you. It's not much money but it may help?

You've obviously never worked in mental health, or an MH related field.

I've dealt with clients whose anxiety is so crippling that they can barely speak to anyone other than close family or MH professionals, and with people so depressed that they struggle to maintain the absolute basics, like washing, bathing and eating.

Some poor bastards have both, and that is the worst double whammy imaginable.

What job do you think that someone that unwell could possibly do?

Go on local facebook & whatsapp pages and ask for contacts for the school pta.

It would be unheard of to not be able to get hold of a second hand blazer, tie or jumper. Everywhere ive ever lived people are giving these away for free every summer. Easily half the class will not have new as anyone with older siblings will be in hand me downs.

We have a shop nearby where you can get uniform free or cheap (drop my old kids' primary stuff off there, but they have secondary too). Think most towns have something like this? Ask on your local socials (anonymous if you prefer).

Are you in Scotland ? There’s a means tested school uniform grant of £160 or so for families on lower income. Contact your local council.

We have a local charity shop that always has loads of the local high school uniforms in. Might be worth a Google to see if there’s any near you? Also can you apply for a school uniform voucher? When I was last on UC this was a thing. I appreciate it might not be the same now.

I don't know if anyone else has said but is there a patch of the school logo you can buy at the school uniform shop and sew on to a generic uniform shop blazer? That often works out much cheaper and was what we did as I went to school in a deprived area. Not many could afford the official blazers

Sorry to hear this OP. I hope you manage to get sorted, it sounds like it’s been a really tough time for you.

Yes, the kids going in to yr 9/10/11 will have outgrown their yr 7 uniform...

I agree. You must provide a uniform. Maybe your area has a facebook or freecycle board. You absolutely can't send him without the correct uniform.

I can see that there are already a lot of helpful hints and supportive comments here but, just in case it helps for the future, I am a volunteer at a charity shop and we get a lot of school things donated year round (even down to things like tights and gym clothes). We keep them at the back as we have links with local social workers and support groups rather than charging for them and have happily given them to families in our community. Might be worth reaching out to see if shops in your area do the same xx

That's genuinely appalling.

In my part of Scotland, the uniform is basically a white shirt and trousers with blazers being optional. No child would get into trouble because of their parents' financial circumstances - most schools round here give new pupils a school tie and I worked in one where seniors would be given a blazer paid for by the school fund if their parents couldn't afford it.

ETA Have just read the updates. Thank goodness.

Contact any women's aid/DA charities in your area, in mine they can provide grants or uniform vouchers for situations like this

At our school we have masses of second hand uniform items, which the PTA sell cheaply.
At my discretion, I am allowed to help
myself to uniform items. If you have not raised this with the school before the holidays, be aware that support staff are not paid for the holidays and are unlikely to pickup emails until day 1 of the new term. Contact them at the beginning of term.
It sounds as though your child will be eligible for pupil premium and therefore the school can purchase uniform for you….

OP, don't be afraid to talk to your son about taking good care of his uniform and other kit, especially the high price items (shoes, blazer, bag, etc); tell him WHY - they're expensive. 11 year olds (and older!) are notrious for being utterly careless with their things and you're stressed out enough without him coming home having lost something, or with badly scuffed shoes!

do not do this

ask the school for help they have hardship fund

dressing him in lost property is better than having him stand out like a sore thumb

my local oxfam have v cheap brand new m and s. Stuff

go on your local facebook group/s and ask

the school will have a swap buy group

Brilliant, what a lovely poster. And that's the main identifying item re what school you go to, so a very good start.

You'll be fine, don't panic, check all the links and advised places and he'll be good to go by September.